Page 38 of Christmas at the Home Farm Vets
‘That’s great.’ Oli joined her and he reached into the kennel to stroke the kitten, smiling at her quiet purr. ‘So your boyfriend never made it?’
‘Thanks for pointing out the obvious. And he’s not my boyfriend. You just don’t like him because he’s a joiner.’ She was busy wiping and part of her knew it wasn’t fair to take out her frustration on Oli.
‘Come on, Erin, you know me better than that. I don’t dislike him because he’s a joiner but because he’s jerk who treats you with zero respect. If you really want to share your life with someone who’ll celebrate and support you, then don’t settle for a guy like him. One whose back will be turned the moment you really need him.’
‘You don’t know that!’
‘Yeah, I do, and underneath you do too, because you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Let me guess how it went when you met him. He tossed his drink over you, you shrugged it off and said it didn’t matter. But because you weren’t really interested, Jason wasn’t having that. No, he told you he had to make it up to you and wore you down until you said yes. Because maybe you’re getting tired of being alone and thought dating him was better than not seeing anyone.
‘He doesn’t give a shit about university and why should he, because he never went. But he should care that you did, because it matters to you, and it was six of the most important years of your life. That you’re one of the few who made it into Cambridge and graduated with a First, one of the very best in our year. Is Jason going to say to anyone who’ll listen, hey, look at this woman and everything she’s achieved and how far she’s come. She’s amazing and I get to stand beside her and remind her every day how awesome she is.’
Oli thrust an arm in the air as his tone became sharper. ‘Is he going to be there when you crawl into bed exhausted at midnight after you’ve delivered a dead calf or run out on him because a dog’s been hit by a car and you’re the vet on call? No, because in his world he’s top dog, and you suit him perfectly because you allow him to think it. You don’t make any demands and you’re not some hot twenty-two-year-old he daren’t let out of his sight for fear another guy will jump in front of him.’
‘I can’t believe you said that! How dare you?’ It was way too close to the truth, but Erin was different now from the girl who’d fallen in love with Oli at Catz. Never again would she allow herself to fall for someone so completely that she almost lost sight of herself and the life she’d worked for. Hot tears were stinging her eyes, and she swiped a hand at her face.
‘Because it’s true. And don’t think for one second that I don’t think you’re amazing or beautiful, because I do.’ Oli went to take her hand and she almost jumped aside; she couldn’t let him touch her now and blur her thoughts still more. ‘I always have. Right from the day we met.’
‘Don’t say that! You can’t say those words to me, not now.’
‘But they’re true, and I can’t change that.’ His voice cracked, and he pressed a hand to his temple. ‘I knew it the moment I saw you again.’
‘It’s too late, Oli. You don’t get to tell me who I should date or how to live my life,’ she whispered brokenly.
‘I just don’t want to see you hurt or humiliated by someone who doesn’t deserve you.’
‘And you didn’t humiliate me? When you were on holiday in France with Bella crawling all over you?’
‘I’ve apologised for that, and I swear nothing happened. I made a mistake in letting her get close and I’ll always be sorry for how that made you feel and breaking your trust in me.’ This time Oli took her hand, and she was staring at their joined fingers, the reality of him once again within reach. ‘I can’t help that I still care, Erin. And if you can tell me honestly you don’t feel the same, then I’ll walk away and you don’t have to hear from me again.’
He let go of her hand and turned, his footsteps fading as she leaned against the wall, swallowing back the tears. Both for the truths he’d shared about Jason and the fear that Oli understood how she felt about him too. But what could she do about that, when her life was here and Hartfell was a stopping-off point for him, another interlude before he moved on? She turned to Marnie, thankful for the kitten content in her bed; she had more love in her life now, and maybe this was all she needed.
Back at the party and keen to avoid Oli, she slid into the dining room and helped herself to one of Violet’s mince pies, baked for this evening. It was perfect and she was dusting crumbs from her sweater when Raf found her.
‘Hey. So I take it the boyfriend slash non-boyfriend hasn’t shown up.’
‘No.’ Erin hurriedly checked for more crumbs; being covered in bits of pastry wasn’t a good look for chatting with a rock star, but then neither was the giant Christmas pudding. At least it didn’t light up, and she already felt cheered by his company. ‘Maybe he’s had a better offer.’
‘With you here? Doubt it, the guy sounds like a jerk. Manners cost nothing.’
That made Erin laugh despite her frustration: how many more people tonight were going to refer to Jason that way? She bet Jess would oblige, and she appreciated the compliment from Raf.
‘You want to have a little fun?’ He strolled across and halted front of her. ‘Lend me your phone.’
‘What! Why?’ She unlocked it and held it out anyway, and he took it. He really was hot, and if she weren’t upset with Jason and confused over Oli, then she might… She hastily shook that thought away – Raf was her boss’s brother-in-law, good as. ‘What are you doing!’
‘Sending him a message.’ Raf tugged her close and slid an arm around her shoulders. He turned the camera into selfie mode and began recording, his smile that famously wicked one she’d only ever seen online before tonight.
‘Hey, Jase, it’s Raf Jones. Sorry you had to miss Erin’s party, but I thought you’d like to know I’m taking good care of her.’ He turned the phone to the noise in the kitchen, the guests spilling into the sitting room, and back to them again. ‘Hope you’re having a great night too. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure she gets home safely.’ He winked into the camera before turning it off, and Erin was lost for words.
‘Oh, you’re good,’ she managed eventually. ‘He hates being called Jase.’
‘Then my work here is done,’ Raf announced, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. ‘Let’s see what he makes of that.’
‘We’re just dating, it’s not really anything, so it doesn’t matter. I should probably never have invited him tonight.’
‘Because your heart is otherwise involved?’ He grinned and held up a hand. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I know what it’s like. So I guess Oli will see you home?’
‘I suppose so, seeing as he’s staying there.’ That thought shouldn’t be warming her as much as it was.
