Page 49 of Christmas at the Home Farm Vets
‘It was more than a bit, Mike,’ Christina said gently, and she looked at Oli, her lovely blue eyes glittering with tears. ‘Your dad had a breakdown and had to take six months away from work. I wanted him to tell you, but he was adamant that we shouldn’t. He felt he’d let you down enough already.’
‘Shit, Dad.’ Oli’s voice was shaky, his breath rapid, and the thigh beneath Erin’s hand was trembling. ‘I wish you had told us.’
‘I wasn’t sure you’d want to hear it as you still blamed me for the divorce, and I thought you had enough to deal with, after your mum. We weren’t seeing much of each other anyway, you’d just graduated and found your first job. I didn’t think it was fair to drag you into our worries. The doctor said it was likely caused by a reaction to all the emotional stress. It felt as though a lid had been blown off and I couldn’t keep on top of everything.’
‘I’m so sorry about the baby.’ Oli looked at Christina and her smile was an understanding one as she nodded. He turned his sympathy to his dad, who gripped his hand across the table before letting go.
‘Oli, what I’m going to tell you next is in no way meant to reflect badly on your mum, and I’ve agonised for a long time, years really, about whether I should even mention it,’ Mike began hesitantly. ‘But in the spirit of telling the truth and helping you understand why we separated, I thought you should know.’
He took a gulp of water, placing the glass carefully down on the table. ‘It was your mum who’d met someone else and wanted to start a new life with them. I’m sorry we lied and let you think otherwise, but at the time she was distraught, and we didn’t know what else to do. I was travelling and I believed then, and I still do, that it was best for you, Immi and your mum to be together, and the easiest way to achieve that was for me to leave. There was no going back on her decision, and we made sure of it by telling you I’d met someone else. Christina and I actually met about eighteen months later, at a conference.’
Mike coughed and reached for the glass again, and Christina passed him a tissue. He wiped his eyes and Erin was sharply aware of Oli, silent and frozen at her side, the tension thrumming through him and evident in his thigh set like steel beneath her hand.
‘Don’t ever doubt your mum loved you and Imogen best of all,’ Mike said quietly. ‘She adored you both and was so proud of you.’
‘But, Dad, there wasn’t anyone else,’ Oli whispered hoarsely. Erin gripped his hand as he leaned forward. ‘We never met another man and she never once mentioned someone else.’
‘That’s because it wasn’t another man,’ Mike offered slowly. ‘It was Gillian.’
‘Gillian! But she was a client who became Mum’s friend, and they travelled together, she stayed with us sometimes…’ Oli’s voice fell away, and his head was in his hands. ‘She never said. Why didn’t she tell us? At least we would’ve known the truth, and it wouldn’t have changed how we felt about both of you.’
‘She always said she was waiting for the right time, and I think she was afraid you’d think badly of her for being the one to break up our family.’ The sigh Mike eased out was a long one. ‘Please try and understand your mum never saw this coming, and it hit her, both of us, as an absolute bolt out of the blue. She hadn’t planned it, and she was tormented for months about what to do, and about letting me take the blame. I knew she still loved me, but I felt it was right to give her that chance of happiness with someone she loved more. Someone I know she thought of as the love of her life.’
Mike leaned forward and he clutched Oli’s arm. ‘They were happy together, Oli, in their way. Time just went on and maybe they wanted to keep what they had to themselves.’
‘Gillian was with Mum when she died. She must’ve been bereft, and we didn’t even notice,’ Oli said hollowly. ‘It wouldn’t have mattered, nothing would have changed how we felt about Mum. And Gillian helped us organise the funeral, and she read a poem. How did she get through it? I wished I’d known, because then Gillian would be our family too.’
‘She still can be. She is family.’ Mike picked up the glass again and swallowed more water. ‘I’m sure she’d love to see you, or hear from you. We email from time to time.’
‘Right. Email. Bloody hell, Dad. This is turning out to be some brunch.’ Oli eased back in his chair as though all the air had been knocked out of him as their food arrived. ‘I’m sorry for…’ His voice cracked as he stared at his dad and Mike’s hand found his across the table. ‘For everything, really. For us missing out too, and thinking badly of you when it wasn’t your fault.’
Erin was still clutching his thigh, trying to convey every bit of strength and support she could after such revelations. And love, it was pointless trying to pretend otherwise. It was simply how her heart was made, to love Oli Sterling.
Chapter Nineteen
The Christmas market in Marlborough was enchanting, and Erin and Oli wandered around it mostly in silence, holding hands. He was still reeling from the revelation about his family at brunch, and the time with his dad and Christina had passed far too quickly. They’d parted with hugs this time, and Mike had said he hoped they’d see Oli at Imogen and Alex’s for Christmas. It was going to take more than one conversation to heal a rift which had been simmering for years, but Erin was hopeful that Oli was on his way now he understood the truth.
Festive stalls stretched the length of a charming high street on either side, and Santa in his grotto was greeting excited young children, with a pair of reindeer outside drawing lots of admirers. A rock choir was performing later, and buskers dressed as elves were wandering through the crowd, making merry with music and stopping for selfies. Erin and Oli joined a queue for mulled wine, with Erin choosing the non-alcoholic option as she was driving home.
After last night it seemed perfectly natural to wrap their arms around one another as they strolled amongst the stalls. Their lovemaking had been perfect, and had lived for so long in her imagination. She wanted to keep him close, especially after seeing his dad and Christina earlier. To let him know that she cared and hated to see him hurt. She was looking forward to going home for Marnie, but it was difficult to think of tomorrow, of his leaving in two days, and balancing their professional relationship against the swerve their personal one had finally taken.
Oli bought her a midnight blue beanie because he said the colour reminded him of her dress from last night. She was smiling as he slid it over her hair and dropped a kiss on her lips, their faces chilled from the cold. She couldn’t resist more decorations for the cottage, even if she had to put them away until Marnie was older, and picked up some felted mince pie baubles, which Oli thought were a fitting choice after her triumph in the mince pie tasting. A delicate, fused glass robin and a silver snowflake embellished with tiny red stones found their way into her bag as well, and she gave him a pair of red socks made from soft alpaca wool to keep his feet warm in wellies out on calls. They finished with hot sausage rolls filled with black pudding and cranberries before they set off on the long journey back to Hartfell.
Without a stop they made home in good time. Jess was very happy to hear they’d had a lovely weekend. Erin tried to hide the new light in her eyes, but it was impossible in front of her intuitive friend, especially when she was making a brew and Oli forgot about Jess in the sitting room and came through to kiss her. Marnie was in a mischievous mood and getting the hang of living in a home, and they played with her after they’d thanked Jess and she’d left.
But Monday was approaching, bringing with it the last working days before Christmas, and a return to normality after these precious few hours alone. She was aware that Oli had left his bag in his own room, and she loved him all the more for not assuming that everything here had changed as well, and he could share her room without questioning it first.
After a light supper she glanced at her phone on the coffee table. She wasn’t on call, but she was always alert to notifications, especially from her mum, and she’d never miss an emergency if she could attend. She unlocked the phone when she saw a message from Gil; it was unusual for him to contact her out of hours unless it was important. At least she could still drive tonight if she needed to.
She scanned the message; he was apologising for contacting her but wondered if she could come in early on Monday for a meeting? It was nothing of concern but there was something he needed to discuss with her. Erin replied at once to agree and arranged to head in at seven before the rest of the staff arrived and the working day began in earnest. Already her mind was going to what lay ahead tomorrow, and she was startled from her thoughts when Oli spoke.
‘Sorry, I missed that.’ She smiled at him to make up for her distraction.
‘I wondered if you were ready for bed?’ He found her hand and she was staring at it on her lap, the simple connection that meant so much more. ‘I’m not going to presume, I want you to know it’s fine if you’d rather I stay in my room. Well, mostly fine.’ He leaned in as though he was going to kiss her and thought better of it. ‘Not that I wouldn’t rather be naked with you in yours.’
‘Are you sure you’re not just saying that because you’re tired of sleeping in a single?’ she teased, knowing her reply was enough to make her decision clear. ‘Are you trying to make me feel sorry for you?’
‘Is it working?’ He gave her such a sad look that she laughed, and she was the one who reached over to kiss him.
