Page 59 of Christmas at the Home Farm Vets
‘Me?’ Her head snapped up as she fixed red and puffy eyes on Gil. ‘But why would he do that? It doesn’t make any sense. I thought it was because he didn’t want to give up travelling, to live in one place and make a home here with me.’
‘It makes perfect sense when you know the truth,’ Gil said quietly. ‘I explained I’d invited you to become a partner and I was very much hoping you’d accept, and that we’d like him to stay on to manage the companion animal work. Oli did say he’d reflect after you and he had talked, but his initial response was to turn it down. This is the part you may wish I didn’t know, but I do, so here goes.’ Gil offered her a sympathetic smile and she was hanging on every word as though her entire future would depend on what he said next.
‘Oli turned us down because he informed me that you and he were in a very meaningful and important relationship, and that you feel strongly about maintaining a professional distance at work. He felt, in order to give you space to succeed if you accept the partnership, that you’d be happier if he was working somewhere else but near enough for you to stay together. He didn’t actually say the words out loud, Erin, but I know what being in love looks like,’ Gil finished wryly.
Most uncharacteristically she burst into tears again and cried all over her boss, who handed her a tissue and tactfully disappeared after telling her to go home and begin her holiday early, they would manage. She drove home in a daze, horrified by her refusal to allow Oli to explain his reason for turning down the job, and utterly lit up by the realisation that he must love her. Or had. Given that she’d ejected him from her life a second time, perhaps he was already feeling very different.
She felt drained, as though every ounce of her energy had vanished since he’d left, and she crawled into bed after feeding Marnie. She had been planning to find a last-minute getaway in search of some sun, but since the conversation with Gil she couldn’t get Oli and his generosity in turning down a fantastic job out of her mind. She was dreading the wedding sixty miles away with Jason tomorrow, just wishing it was over and wondering why she’d been stupid and stubborn enough to tell Oli she was still going when it was the very last thing she wanted.
Distracted by everything else this week, she’d let Jason take care of the arrangements, and she went cold when he let her know he’d booked them a room. Not at the lovely hotel where the wedding was taking place but in a lodge on a main road fifteen miles further on, and he’d asked her to share the cost of the taxi back.
In the morning she was ready early, her case packed and waiting in the sitting room. Jess and Noah were due later to look after Marnie, and Erin just wanted to be on her way. But first, she had something to do, and it was going to be in person. Jason arrived twenty minutes late and she watched his van pull up outside. As he got out he looked like a stranger, someone she’d never really known even though his features were familiar. She heard his cheery whistle as he thumped on the front door, the greeting he called to someone passing by. She took a deep breath as she opened it to him.
‘Babe! You ready? The roads are looking pretty shit after the rain so we’d better get going. You look great, by the way. Have you done something different with your hair? I said we’d meet Kieran and his girlfriend in the bar for a quick one before the ceremony. You remember Kieran? Girl’s new but same old story, hey?’ He winked at her, then seemed to realise she wasn’t moving. ‘What’s up?’
‘Actually Jason, I’m really sorry, but I’m not going with you to the wedding.’ She couldn’t believe she’d ever thought this was a good idea. She’d wondered before if he called her ‘babe’ because he sometimes forgot her name and the generalisation covered all bases. ‘I’m sorry to let you down on the last minute, but I know what that’s like. Maybe you can find someone else. We both know I wasn’t your first choice.’
‘Yeah, but I’m here now and…’
‘And I’m not going.’ She found a smile, trying to soften the blow, probably more to his pride than anything else – she didn’t imagine he’d appreciate showing up without a girl hanging on his arm. ‘I’ve realised I’m not really the sort of person who can do casual relationships after all. I want something more; love, commitment, a family one day. I’m not sure you want that too.’ She’d spoken the truth, but she imagined those words might send him leaping back into the van in search of his dating apps.
‘Yeah, one day, maybe.’ A frown creased his brow and the laugh he offered was a brief, puzzled one. ‘But that’s years off, and we both agreed to keep things simple.’
‘And what if I’ve changed?’ Erin hadn’t planned this conversation, but she was feeling lighter already. ‘I’ve made a terrible mistake, and I have to see if I can put it right. So let’s just part as friends, and if I ever hear of someone after a personal trainer I’ll send them your way.’ Probably. Maybe. And they’d never be friends, but she could be friendly.
‘You’d do that?’ Already he’d brightened and a hand went to his back pocket. ‘Take some cards, you never know.’
‘I will.’ She took a step back, impatient to set in motion the plan she’d formed just a few hours ago. ‘Take care, I hope you have a wonderful weekend. You’ll probably meet someone amazing.’
‘Bound to. See ya.’ He turned away and she locked the door with relief, her knees still trembling. Right now she needed a quick brew before the taxi showed up.
The flight from Heathrow was uneventful and she slept through some of it, waking about an hour before they stopped in the Bahamas. The views were incredible: white sand, palm trees and glittering blue sea. After taking off again, they landed in the Cayman Islands less than two hours later and when Erin stepped off the plane she felt the incredible rush of a Caribbean sun envelop her in warm, welcoming air. It was the longest she’d ever flown, and she waited for her luggage nervously, still wondering if she was making another mistake.
It was a short journey to the hotel, and she was trying to absorb the sights as they drove along: bustling streets busy with people and lined with low, colourful buildings. The light was extraordinary after the Dales winter she’d just left, and she understood some of how Gil and Pippa must have felt when they’d landed in an Australian summer. At the hotel she stared in wonder at lush green planting in the gardens, clutching the handle of her case and half wondering how she’d even got here. It had been such a rush, and she felt dazed by the flight and the difference in her surroundings.
Inside the lobby, the front desk sat between white and green walls, highlighting a glorious view of the beach. Artwork was bright and contemporary, and guests looked relaxed as they strolled by or lounged around a bright blue infinity pool falling away to the sea. Erin was welcomed warmly and had soon checked in. On the way to her room her breath stuttered at more tropical plants amongst tall, stately palms and soft pink walls, comfortable loungers placed between them. It was glorious and she couldn’t wait for a swim before dinner to freshen up. She was tired after the journey, but her body felt hyped too, at the real reason she had come all this way.
Her room was stunning and simple; a huge queen size bed between white walls with a ceiling fan above it. She had her own sofa, and the luxury of an en suite bathroom nearly made her weep when she thought of her own back home in Hartfell. It was cool inside, and she threw open the doors to her balcony, blinking in wonder at the sight of the sea again, the blue water vivid beneath a Caribbean sun, and those skies. It was paradise, and for the next few days it was hers.
After a shower she changed and strolled through the gardens to the pool. She’d explore the beach tomorrow; today she just wanted to be in the water. She slipped off her shoes, the tiles hot beneath her feet, conscious of her pale skin in the heat as she tied her hair back. Suncream was essential and after she’d applied plenty she stepped into the pool. The water was exquisite and refreshing, and after a few minutes Erin abandoned swimming to float on her back. She flipped over, trying to calm her nerves as she thought of tomorrow and what she’d really come here to do.
Dinner later was plentiful and rich, blackened Cajun-spiced red snapper with rice and a glass of wine, after a cocktail to start. By the time she’d finished, her body was lamenting the five-hour time difference, crying out for rest, so she wandered back to her room and crashed into bed.
After a fitful sleep and a fabulous breakfast, she downloaded the map she needed and set off to explore, sunhat and glasses on. She got lost a couple of times, but Google put her right and twenty minutes later she arrived at the practice. It was so pretty, and she could see exactly why he’d chosen it. A white picket fence bordered a garden stuffed with plants, and green and white walls complemented the sign perfectly, a black paw print above white lettering confirming the name of the practice. She opened the gate with trembling fingers and took a deep breath before walking up the path.
It was cooler once she opened the door and entered the reception area. A desk stood to her right, the walls lined with chairs and only one person was waiting, a dog at their feet on a lead. She smiled; so many miles from home and yet it was all so achingly familiar. She approached the woman on the desk who beamed a greeting, and once Erin had explained why she was here she sat down to wait, clutching the sunhat on her lap with clammy hands. Even with the ceiling fan the air was warm, and she drank some water from the bottle in her bag, a tremble running through her body.
One of the two doors opposite her opened and she started, eyes flying to the woman in green scrubs who’d emerged and called her next patient. The woman with the dog got up and Erin felt a sharp pang of yearning for home and Marnie as they disappeared into the consulting room. Even exams had never made her pulse pound quite like this.
A few moments later the second door opened. Oli was there and her stomach clenched with longing. The beard he’d grown to keep him warm in the Dales had already gone and she saw the emergence of another suntan on his face, the scattering of new freckles as she slowly got to her feet.
‘Who’s next, please?’ His eyes swept over the waiting room and when his gaze landed on hers, his mouth fell open in a gasp. His shoulders slumped as he swayed, letting go of the door, and it swung back to bounce against the wall, clattering through the stillness.
‘I’m hoping that might be me.’ Erin made herself take one shaky step after another. Coming here to find him had seemed like a sensible decision from the safety of her home in Hartfell, but facing him now she was terrified she’d got it wrong. What if he wouldn’t listen to what she’d come all this way to tell him?
‘Erin? What are you doing here?’ His voice was a hollowed-out whisper as he ran a hand through his hair, and she just wanted to hold him, to tell him how sorry she was.
‘Because there’s something I really need to tell you, and it has to be in person,’ she began shakily, grateful for the ceiling fan helping dissipate some of the heat racing through her. Thankfully, the receptionist was taking a call and not paying them any attention. ‘I messaged Imogen to ask where you were, and she told me you were working here. I came to apologise for my mistakes and to ask you if we can find a way to fix what I’ve broken.’
