Page 30 of Christmas at the Home Farm Vets
‘I thought you’d kissed me at the ball and said those things for a laugh because you knew how I felt about you,’ she whispered sadly. ‘And that I was never the one you really wanted.’
‘How did you feel about me?’ Oli’s voice was low, uneven, and she caught the hurried plea in those few words.
‘I’m not going to spell it out, Oli.’ She owed herself that much dignity at least. ‘My father left us with nothing and I saw how hard my family had to battle to survive, so I wasn’t going to put my heart in the hands of someone I didn’t trust to hold it.’
‘Want me to say it first?’
‘Say what?’ She swallowed down her sadness, the desire to understand what had been in his heart then. ‘It’s pointless, it doesn’t mean anything now.’
‘If you think I kissed you and said those things at the ball to mock you then you don’t know me as well as I thought,’ he said roughly. ‘I did it for one reason only, and that was because I was in love with you. And I know you felt the same, you don’t even have to say it. It was there every time we were together, and we only had to look at each other to know it was true.’
She didn’t want to let his words settle inside her but couldn’t prevent it; they were warming her and hurting her all at once. How much had they missed, how might their lives have been different if she’d allowed her mind to believe what her heart already knew? She freed her hand from Oli’s and checked Cleo, focusing on her responsibilities and not their past. Their silence was broken by the puppies snuffling and squeaking, while Erin stroked Cleo as she battled to contain the feelings their conversation had stirred up.
‘Whatever happened then, we’ve both moved on, and we lead different lives now. If you hadn’t taken this job then we probably wouldn’t have seen each other again. It’s too late to go back.’
‘I don’t want to go back. Maybe I want to look forward for once,’ he said quietly. ‘And I know you’re not going to like this, and I’m supposed to back off where Jason is concerned, but I’d still be saying this if it was my sister or any other person I cared about.’ He drew in a long breath. ‘You should end it with him. You deserve so much better, and he’s not for you.’
Erin stood up awkwardly, her legs stiff after sitting on the hard floor, and fumbled for her phone. Cleo was more alert, and it was time to call her owners again and let them know they could collect her.
‘Whatever your intentions are for saying that Oli, our history doesn’t give you the right to comment on who I’m with. Jason and I are fine as we are and I don’t need any more, I can look after my own future. And your middle name is Cameron. Because it was your mum’s family name and she wanted you to have it.’
Chapter Twelve
‘I might be imagining things, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t have two ponies on the premises when I left this morning.’ Gil appeared in the office on Tuesday after his farm visits with the family dogs, Lola and Maud, at his heels. Erin looked up from where she’d broken for lunch before an afternoon of testing cattle for tuberculosis. ‘I’ve just seen a piebald cob in the paddock and Posy’s got it cornered. Either Harriet or Dorothy is responsible, and my money’s on Harriet. She took off first thing before breakfast and I haven’t seen her since.’
‘I haven’t seen her either.’ Erin thought even Harriet might make herself scarce if she’d fetched an animal home without Pippa or Gil’s permission. With a grin, she got up and pulled on her coat, hanging on the back of her chair. ‘Let’s have a look, then.’
Word quickly spread and by the time Erin had caught Posy and persuaded her not to make her displeasure with the new arrival more apparent, the entire staff had trooped out to take a look at an underweight and very sorry-looking black-and-white pony. Despite her condition she was a sturdy build and Erin guessed around thirteen hands high.
‘It’s a mare,’ Gil said grimly. He’d found a spare headcollar in the stables and led the pony inside out of the rain. Erin had brought Posy in too, and left her secure in her own stable, where she went to the back to sulk. ‘She must be a rescue, judging by the state of her.’
The pony’s thick winter coat was filthy, more black than white, and matted in places. It was clear her feet hadn’t been trimmed for some time and were overgrown to a degree that had made her hobble uncomfortably across the yard. Her feathers – thick hair growing beneath her knees to her hooves – were dirty too, coated in mud. In the stable her head hung down, hip bones protruding and eyes dulled, and Erin felt desperately sorry for her. Gil ran a hand from her neck along her body and sighed when he felt her stomach, more distended than the rest of her. ‘Anyone else think she might be in foal?’
‘Looks that way. What do you want to do?’ Oli had hung back now the rest of the staff had returned to the surgery.
He and Erin had been polite and careful with one another since they’d talked on Sunday afternoon. They had agreed to share the shopping and cooking, and this morning he’d filled the slow cooker with ingredients for a chicken casserole tonight. She’d never really put into words what she’d felt for him at Catz, and hearing him say that he’d been in love with her then was proving impossible to forget. Bits of their conversation kept popping up at inconvenient moments – like now, while assessing the welfare of this bedraggled little mare apparently in need of a loving home. His eyes caught hers and she looked away.
‘First, let’s get her dry and warm. Water and feed too, then when she’s feeling a bit brighter we’ll clean her up and take some bloods. She’ll need worming and we’d better scan her to make sure she actually is in foal. There’s probably a rug around here somewhere that’ll fit her.’
‘So she’s staying?’ Erin was relieved, dreading the thought of turfing the starving pony back out into the depths of winter. Not that Harriet or Dorothy would let that happen.
‘For now.’ Gil slowly shook his head. ‘No doubt Harriet has other ideas. I bet Dorothy put her up to this; I’ll be having a word with my aunt when I see her. And Harriet, when she gets home from school.’
‘She’ll need a name, if she hasn’t already got one.’ Erin was stroking the pony’s neck, trying to let her know that she’d be okay now and they wouldn’t let anything worse happen to her. ‘I bet she doesn’t have a passport.’
‘What about Flo?’ Oli suggested. ‘She looks like she might be a Flo.’
‘She does.’ Erin threw him a grin. ‘I like it.’
‘Right, Flo it is, unless Harriet’s got a better suggestion.’ Gil slipped the headcollar off and gave Flo a gentle pat. ‘Poor little girl, let’s get you sorted out.’
‘I’ll do it, if you want to get some lunch?’ Erin checked her phone. ‘I’ve got another hour before I need to be at Roland’s for the testing.’
‘Thanks, Erin.’ Gil closed the stable door and made sure to kick the bottom bolt in place too, the dogs ready to follow him back indoors. ‘Make sure Posy’s shut in too. I wouldn’t put it past her to escape and let Flo out as well, probably see her off whilst she’s at it.’
Oli was on his lunch break too, and he and Erin quickly made a clean bed from the blocks of shavings Harriet stored for Posy. They banked up the bedding high and deep so Flo could lie down in comfort if she chose. Oli filled a clean water bucket and Elaine appeared with a kettle so they could add some warm water to entice Flo to drink. Erin slid a few handfuls of haylage into a net; the pony would need to be fed little and often so her weakened digestive system wouldn’t be overwhelmed. Posy was on a permanent low-calorie diet to keep her laminitis condition at bay, so Erin offered Flo a little of Posy’s feed in a bucket, gratified to see that she ate it. Flo would need something different to build her back up, but Posy’s food would do for now. Erin and Oli left Flo standing on the thick bedding, out of the rain and freezing air, and they planned to check on her later with Gil.
When Erin returned from TB testing the herd of dairy cattle, she was cold and ready for a hot drink. The cattle had been unsettled by the change in routine and a few had escaped into the yard, leading her and the farmers a merry dance before they were rounded up. She heard Jess chatting with Oli in the office in a quick break between consultations and from the sound of it, Jess was helping him choose an ugly sweater for the staff Christmas party on Saturday. Gil had drafted in extra cover and planned to be on call if required so everyone else could have a night off. They’d agreed on Secret Santa for their first Christmas as a team and Elaine had suggested they draw names at the party and exchange gifts on the twenty-third, which would be Oli’s last day.
