Page 7 of Christmas at the Home Farm Vets
‘Right. So how did you sleep?’
‘Fine.’ Good enough, anyway, and she ignored the suggestion of softness in his few words. Erin stood up and collected her breakfast things. She was heading into work early, but first she’d make a flask of tea to see her through the morning out on calls. ‘How about you?’
‘Yeah.’ His smile was more of a grimace. ‘All right.’
She quashed a flare of guilt; it wasn’t her fault the second bedroom was tiny. ‘You should probably know the hot tap takes ages to heat up and the bathroom door…’
‘Sticks? Yeah, I noticed. So would you like a coffee, or do you still drink that disgustingly dark tea?’
‘A proper brew, you mean.’ She’d assumed he would’ve forgotten that by now. ‘No thanks. I have no idea how you even drink that stuff first thing.’
‘I need the hit, that’s why.’
In the kitchen it was as she’d feared, and Jess had joked yesterday. Erin filled the washing-up bowl and turned for her flask just as Oli reached for the coffee capsules, and if she hadn’t leaped back she would have crashed right into him. They both offered a hasty apology, and she felt a surge of electricity pass between them. It was a shock to realise he smelled the same, of vanilla and something spicier that always reminded her of the bourbon he’d sometimes drunk at Catz. She switched the kettle on, waiting for it to boil as he made an espresso and knocked it back in two quick gulps.
‘Could you please spare me something for breakfast?’ He flashed her that grin and she gritted her teeth. ‘I’ll go shopping later, I promise. Came straight here from a couple of days with a mate after a flight, so…’
‘Help yourself, but as I said…’
‘Yeah, I remember. Meals aren’t included.’
Suddenly Oli’s hand was on her arm, the gentle pressure of his fingers warm and light through her long-sleeved top. ‘Don’t you think we need a conversation about how this is going to work?’ he said quietly. ‘Obviously I had no idea about you when I took the job and finding out we’re sharing was a…’
‘Terrible disappointment? Horrible shock?’
‘Neither of those, if I’m being honest.’ He withdrew his hand. ‘But I’m guessing you knew it was me and still went ahead. Why would you do that?’
‘It’s very simple. I’d already agreed to host the new locum and I’m saving up for a new bathroom. You’ve seen the current one so I’m sure you’ll understand.’
‘So it had nothing to do with us? You and me?’
‘Of course it’s not about that, there never really was an “us”,’ she told him hotly. One night with him in the house and already her plans for the morning were falling apart. She grabbed her flask, trying to focus on practical matters. ‘All we need to deal with is work, it’s the only subject that interests me where you and I are concerned.’
‘So that hasn’t changed. Studying always did come first for you.’
‘What did you expect! You know what my life was like and how hard my family worked to keep our home together. I couldn’t fall back on Mummy and Daddy or land some cushy job in the City if I didn’t put the hours in, Oli. I have to make every penny of that debt count.’
Erin was not about to let him make her feel guilty for her work ethic. Studying had always been her route to success; she could trust it and she’d never allow herself to be reliant on someone who might break her heart all over again. ‘I have to work and I love it. I’m not going to apologise for that.’
‘I don’t expect you to, nor would I ask it of you. But the past and what happened isn’t going to go away.’
‘What happened is that you asked me to trust you and then proved that I couldn’t,’ she said fiercely, hating the wobble in her voice. ‘Do you seriously think I want to remember how I felt when I found out about you and Bella that summer, or…’
‘There was no me and Bella that summer,’ he said sharply. ‘But I know I made a mistake and I’ve been sorry for it since the moment it happened.’ Oli raked a hand through his hair and Erin couldn’t remember what she was meant to be doing next. ‘I tried to explain and apologise, but you…’
‘You fooled me once, Oli, I’m not going to let it happen again. My father left my mum and me, and it broke her heart. So you’ll have to forgive me for not falling for a dream or trusting in second chances.’ The kettle had finished boiling and she went through the motions of filling her flask, the silence and the weight of their history heavy in her mind.
And she couldn’t confess all: that part of her had wanted to see him when she’d found out he would be temporarily joining the practice. To test her feelings and her own strength around him now. To prove to herself that she really was over him, could share her home and remain immune to what she’d felt for him at Catz.
‘We have to keep this professional. Our personal lives have nothing to do with one another. And no one at work knows and I want to keep it that way. Agreed?’
‘I’m not sure it’s…’
‘Yes or no,’ she said bluntly.
‘Yes, if that’s what you want,’ he said quietly. ‘And I’m sorry.’
‘I don’t know if you saw Gil’s email this morning?’ Erin snatched up her flask and phone; she much preferred talking about work, it kept their relationship on a footing she was comfortable with. ‘He’s been called away and I’m taking your induction instead.’
