Page 30 of Love in the Stacks
Adam:
So we’re okay?
Nicole:
Of course. See you around the library
Seems verynotokay to me, but whatever. I groan in frustration. We made so much progress yesterday, just to have it all derailed in a moment. Iknowshe’s attracted to me. I know she feels the pull between us, or at least she did last night. So, she doesn’t trust … me? Herself?
If I can just get her to drop her walls again, maybe we can talk about all this. No games, no pretense. She’ll have to talk to me tomorrow, anyway. We’re meeting about the graphic novel project in the afternoon.
I take it as a good sign the next morning when I don’t find my sweatshirt washed and folded on my desk. She kept it. That has to mean something, doesn’t it? Even if all it means is that she hasn’t done laundry yet. I try to put Nicole out of my mind and instead work on cataloging the graphic novels that, you know, I ordered for Nicole. Ugh, I’m a mess.
I walk into Nicole’s office that afternoon for our meeting and freeze in the doorway. I quickly catch myself, and pasting on a smile, continue into the room. Someone pulled an extra chair into this small space, and Tasha is sitting in it.
“Adam, hi.” Nicole smiles politely, the light not reaching her eyes. “Tasha is going to join us today. I thought it would be a greatopportunity for her to learn since she’s considering getting her master’s in library science after she graduates. Plus, we can have her help us with some of the more administrative parts of the project.”
I sit in the remaining chair to the left of Tasha and with an entire desk between me and Nicole.
“Great idea,” I lie. “Welcome, Tasha.”
Tasha flashes me her usual confident smile but glances furtively at Nicole when she doesn’t think I’ll notice. Tasha is a buffer, plain and simple. She’s here so Nicole doesn’t have to be alone with me.
The meeting is short. I give an update on the cataloging. Nicole talks about the faculty members she’s met with who are interested in incorporating graphic novels into their courses. She never meets my eyes. It’s tense, and I’m tense and frenetic, and the quiver in Nicole’s fingers as she writes her notes gives her away, even as she appears otherwise calm and collected.
I can’t. I can’t go back to this. At least let’s be friends again.
When the painfully awkward meeting ends, I head upstairs to the third floor. I don’t know if Dr. Parker is in his office, but I’m going to check.
“Adam, my boy!” Dr. Parker booms when I peek my head into his open office door. “Come in.”
I do, closing the door behind me. Before taking a seat, I squat next to Beans and scratch his ears.
“Hi, Dr. Parker,” I say as I sit in my usual chair.
Something in my tone must catch his attention, because his head snaps up and he studies my face.
“You look and sound miserable,” he finally says. “What’s going on?”
I feel miserable. I’d love Dr. Parker’s advice, but I stop to think about how best to explain what’s happening without saying anything that might embarrass Nicole further.
“The wooing is not going well, I take it?” he asks.
“You could say that,” I answer. “We’ve been spending time together as friends.”
“Well, that’s good! Friendship is the foundation for any good romance.”
“No, yeah. The friendship part is fine. But while we were spending time together, she said something that she now feels embarrassed about. She’s been avoiding me ever since. And when she has to talk to me, she’s super formal and professional.” I run both hands down my face before setting my elbows on my knees, staring at the ground.
“Hmm, that’s tricky,” Dr. Parker muses. “We already know the lady can be a little prickly—any progress on finding out why that is?”
I shake my head.
“Hmm. If she’s afraid to feel vulnerable, and then she lets down her walls a little only to embarrass herself in front of you, she would naturally want to put the walls right back up. How did you react when she said whatever it is she said?”
I straighten in the chair and look at him. “I tried to talk to her, but she ran off. And then I texted her about it a couple days later, but she just pretended it never happened.”
“You … texted her?” Dr. Parker shakes his head at me in disappointment.
