Page 99 of Love in the Lab
Thirty minutes in, Jonathan is dozing contentedly in his lounger under our rented beach cabana, and I’m… well, I’m totally bored and scrolling aimlessly on my phone. I tried reading a book, but even a light beach read couldn’t hold my attention.
I end up on a new social media site where scientists have started their own community to share research and chatter. I’m browsing the posts tagged with the “coastal science” hashtag, glad Jonathan is asleep so he can’t scold me for doing something work-adjacent while we’re on vacation.
On the site, a former colleague from NOSU has posted an article link, so I click it to learn more. I skim the headline and first sentence. Gasping loudly, I sit up and flail my arm toward Jonathan, smacking him square across his bare chest.
He bolts upright, simultaneously groggy and on high alert. “What happened? What’s wrong?” He darts his eyes around for any threats.
“Babe! You’ll never guess what just happened at NOSU!” I practically shout.
Jonathan stills, blinking toward me. “What happened to who where? Areyouokay?”
“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine, but you have to hear this!” I hold my phone up and wave it in front of him.
He rubs his eyes. “Wait. Are you on your phone looking at coastal science news?”
I purse my lips. “Maybe.”
He levels me with a stern expression. “We’re supposed to be relaxing.”
“I hate relaxing!” I whine. “I’m so bored!”
Jonathan checks the time on his phone. “We haven’t even been out here a whole hour yet!”
I toss my hair. “Regardless, the important thing is this news from NOSU.”
“Fine,” he sighs. “What is it?”
“Dr. Perron has been fired!” I announce dramatically.
“Wait, really?” Jonathan turns so he’s sitting upright with his bare feet on the sand in the space between our two chairs.
I hold back a smirk. “Yes! Apparently that new lab he was forming to study blue carbon offsetting—”
“The one he wanted me to run?” he interrupts.
“Uh-huh. It was funded by a huge fossil fuel company.” I name one of the most prominent big oil companies in the country. “But… Dr. Perron didn’t accurately disclose that fact to the university.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Yep.” I’m skimming the article on my phone now and paraphrasing the information out loud. “When the administration found out, there was a big investigation. They didn’t want to be associated with the study because they were concerned about potential bias—”
“As they should be,” Jonathan cuts in.
“Turns out, Dr. Perronliedon the paperwork for the university about the funding organization for the project because he didn’t want them to find out who was paying for it.”
Jonathan leans forward, his elbows balanced on his thighs. “So, what happened?”
“The university completely shut down the project. They also fired Dr. Perron. Turns out that in addition to lying on the forms, apparently he was getting personal kickbacks from the fossil fuel company. He bought his own boat!”
Jonathan’s mouth drops open. “No way!”
“But here’s the best part. Guess who’s taking Dr. Perron’s place as the dean of the College of Coast and Environment?”
Jonathan’s eyes glimmer. “Is it—?”
“Yes!” I shout. Catching myself, I lower my voice as I read directly from the article. “‘Dr. Phyllis Gantt, a longtime faculty member, has been permanently promoted to the position.’”
“Good for her. Well deserved.” Jonathan nods thoughtfully. “Can you imagine if I had taken the position in that lab, though?”
