Page 39 of The Sicilian Bastard
Araceli
What the fuck is he going on about?I thought.
There was no way I was having his baby. He couldn't force me. He'd forced a lot of things but getting pregnant was where I drew the line. I struggled to sit up so I could tell him exactly what was on my mind, but he was typing away on his phone. I narrowed my eyes at him, suspicious of his actions.
"I am not having a baby right now," I grunted out.
Luciano focused his gaze on me. His light eyes glowed in the dark room. Instead of the argument I thought was brewing between us, he got out of bed. I opened my mouth to apologize and then closed it. One thing I didn't need to do was say sorry for something I strongly believed. It was an instinct. I didn't want to have children ever. A flash of the memory of my birthday slid across my mind. I shuddered in revulsion. Children were breakable. They could get hurt. I didn't want to be in charge of another life. I barely kept myself alive.
Luciano distracted me from my thoughts. He had padded naked into the bathroom. I figured he was taking a leak. I rolled over, giving my back to the room. I wasn't afraid of him anymore. In some fucked-up way, Luciano cared about me. I heard the snick of the bathroom door open again but didn't turn back. I didn't want to face the disappointment on his face. Even worse, I didn't want to face his anger. I heard a zipper open and close, but stubbornness stopped me from glancing back to sate my curiosity.
Luciano climbed back into bed and pulled me against his body, my back to his front. He moved his hand up and down my stomach. His hot breath blew across my ear. "You don't have a choice," he whispered.
It took a moment to realize he was still on about having his baby. I went to turn in his arms. I was ready to give him the tongue lashing of a lifetime. As my body started to twist, I felt a familiar pinprick in my neck. I heard my voice squeak out from down a long hallway. "Oh shit," I got out.
Then it was lights out. Again. Fuck me for believing we were done with this shit.
The next time I woke up, I was alone. I rolled over with a groan and pain lit my abdomen.
"No, no, no. Fuck no. Shit." I jumped out of the bed and stumbled to the bathroom.
I forced myself to pee and when I wiped, it stained the toilet paper pink. That didn't mean anything. I could be getting my period. I pulled the panties on that I didn't remember putting on. Last I checked, I was naked in bed with Luciano before he gave me his knockout shit. I pressed down on my stomach, willing the cramps to leave. I had always had bad periods. Sometimes I would bleed so much, I couldn't sleep. Sometimes I couldn't think. My mind was foggy as I tried to get on with my day. I would usually stay in bed one week out of the month.
I must've been so traumatized since Luciano had taken me that it repressed my periods. That was all.
He wouldn't.Oh, but he would. The treacherous voice that tells me Luciano was no good for me reared its wild head in my mind.
The little creak of the bedroom door opening distracted me from my inner turmoil. Luciano stood in the doorway, his eyes staring intensely at me. The silence between us was palpable. I drew in a breath and threw back my shoulders.
"Why?" I choked out. I tried to be brave, but his betrayal was hitting me hard. I give him a little, and he takes a foot.
"Because I will never let you go. Because you're mine. Because I want to see your body swell with my child and feel pride that you're here. That you're mine. That I will never be alone again."
At this point, he was standing right in front of me panting hard. His pupils were dilated and nostrils flared. I recognized that same feeling deep within me. Ruby masked it with her presence, but she was gone now. Loneliness. Anguish. I wouldn't want anyone to feel the loss of having no one.
"I don't know. I don't understand." I took a hesitant step towards him. All I had to do was reach out my hand. I reached for him. My hand stretched out in the small space between us. I could see the small tremors. Once I acknowledged them, I could feel them in my entire body. It felt like something was shifting. This wasn't the same. He needed me. More than a lonely existence on the other side of the country did. Freedom. What exactly was that? I could be what he needed. All he needed.
Luciano held his breath and let it out slowly as my fingertips skimmed his forearm. He groaned as I leaned deeper, closing the distance between our bodies. I whimpered as his lips grazed mine.
"I'm here now," I gasped against him. He pulled me tight in his embrace and squeezed the breath out of my lungs. I snuggled as close as was physically possible, wishing for more. I made my choice.
The next week flew by in a whirlwind of activity. Luciano and I barely had time for each other. There were funeral arrangements that needed to be made. The foot soldiers on the property took the time out to train me. We learned that I was good with firing and throwing weapons, but when it came to fighting, I was mediocre at best. For me to hit, I needed my fight or flight instincts set off. That made for some awkward scenarios, a few of them involving a very pissed off Luciano.
Another week passed, and it was time to fly to New York. We flew privately. I was wide-eyed and bushy-tailed, awake, not drugged. I'd never flown privately. Not that I could ever remember. I should've been more somber, but it wasn't my fault. I didn't know dick about Don Falcone. All I did was keep my ear to the ground to know what kind of man he was. He seemed fair. He seemed like he was family oriented. He seemed like he was better than the old Don Picone. That was all I knew.
As the streets of New York passed us by, I thought about how I could be a better asset to Luciano. Sure, he needed someone to lean on, but I wanted to be everything. I wanted to be his family. I needed to know how. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts as the Falcone compound came into view.
On a flat space of land that stretched as far as the eye could see, there was an H-shaped house. There were other houses in the distance, but this Italian-Spanish style monstrosity screamed 'main house'. The driver pulled to the front and there were at least a dozen men, armed to the teeth, blocking the entrance. These people lived in luxury, that was for sure.
The men stood stoic as I clambered out of the car. For a second, I didn't think they were going to give entry. But they parted and Nicolo stood in the open doorway. His face was impassive, but his eyes held the pain.
"Vito and Eunji can't make it. I'm not sure about the details." He turned his back and stalked back into his fortress.
The rest of us followed behind him in silence. Luciano waited for me since I was lagging. I was uncomfortable being around these made men, but even more so now that there had been death. Violence and death weren't a new thing, but it made the reality of their lifestyle hit hard. I would never be safe. My child would never be safe. Yet, when I gazed into Luciano's eyes, all that faded away, until it was just me and him. So, I stuck my nose in the air and walked with a purpose. Luciano's eyes danced with mirth. Glad to see someone thought my antics were funny.
I stepped into the Falcone compound and my mouth dropped. I couldn't help it. The ceiling had to be at least fifty feet tall. The opening alone could host a fancy party. The opulence of the ceiling art made me think of the Sistine Chapel.
"Close your mouth before I take that as an invitation," Luciano growled in my ear.
