Page 43 of The Sicilian Bastard
"Araceli! Araceli, you need to calm down."
I tried. I tried to calm my breathing, but it was too late. The doctor came in and injected something into my IV. The droopiness I felt in my eyes grew tenfold. My head lolled to the side and my last conscious thought hit me hard then flitted away.
"I-I know him." As soon as I formulated the thought in my mind, it went away. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the drugs they gave me. I was blissfully unaware of my surroundings and the risks people were taking to keep me safe.
"Araceli. Araceli?" I blinked back to the present. Luciano was in front of me, worry slashed across his face.
"Yeah, sorry." I leaned away from him. The mere presence of the hospital put me on high alert. I felt like I needed to be on my biggest guard. Luciano scrambled my brains on a good day. So, I didn't need him and his muscly goodness to distract me right now.
"Where did you go?" He was still hovering over me like I was a baby chick in need of rescuing.
"Nowhere." I glanced away, trying to keep my lies to myself. If he knew that I was remembering, he might try to stop me. I had to actively remind myself that Luciano kidnapped me. He wasn't a good guy and despite my ever-growing feelings for him, I couldn't get carried away. He looked at me with those soulful blue eyes and I melted.
"Liar." His nostrils flared like he could smell the lie in the air.
"How long did the doctor say I had to stay here?" I changed the subject so he couldn't sniff the lie out.
"They want you here for a few weeks. The burns could have been worse, but they did seep into your tissue in certain places. I didn't get your clothes off your body in time." Luciano sounded pained. His jaw had tightened up and I knew then and there he was blaming himself for what happened.
"No. No. No. No. I can't stay here. I can't. I can't. I can't," I chanted. Luciano grabbed both my arms and pulled me close to him.
"Shhh," he murmured. He reminded me of the nurse Nancy whom I recalled from my fuzzy memory. "What do you want to do? Anything and I'll give it to you."
"I want to go home." It came out fast and prompt. I knew my body. I wasn't that hurt. I could stay at the compound and be fine.
"Home? Like Vegas?" Luciano pulled away from me, hurt drifting over his features before he shut down. I shook my head as soon as he said it.
"Our home."
He sucked in a shaky breath. I don't think he realized that this was my home now. There was no going back. I was in this with him. I needed him. I wanted him. He was mine. I wasn't going to fight what we had anymore. He claimed me. It was time for me to do the same for him. I looked up into those eyes swimming with emotions. I knew the feeling wasn't easy for him. He pulled me against him again and exhaled. It was like he had been holding that breath forever.
"I'll do that for you,mia fiore." He helped me lie back down face down on the bed. I didn't want to, but I didn't fight. I hated not being able to see who was coming and going. But I had to trust that Luciano knew what he was doing. I had to trust he would take care of me. I didn't fear him. He broke down my walls. The remorse I saw from him when he hurt my jaw helped heal the inner scars from the kidnapping. They hadn't healed losing Ruby, but she was living within me. Ruby would have told me to suck it the fuck up and ride this bear until we crashed and burned. We used to joke that if Ruby ever got kidnapped, they'd turn around within five minutes and give her back. I smiled on the pillow. This was a step. I could look back and remember her fondly. I'd bet she was raining hell on wherever she was. She wouldn't let me be sad. I didn't cry much from losing her, but she wouldn't mind. She was one of those who'd suck her tears in and keep moving. That was my Ruby. I wanted to live for her. It was the best way to honor her memory. While I was living for her, I would hunt her killers down and make them pay. Once I did that, I could claim true happiness.
I peeked over at Luciano, who was talking with the doctor. True happiness was looking more and more like him. He came into my life and shook it up. I might never get all my memories back, but the fact that he triggered any was good in my book. I struggled for an entire year. I haunted places in Vegas with Ruby. We asked people we saw on the street. I was more surprised that Ruby hadn't gone against my wishes and hung missing person signs up for me. She wanted to. We fought all the time about it. I told her it was an impulse I couldn't stop or control. I didn't want my picture circulating. Ruby thought someone had scared me before. The evidence pointed that way since I had been shot at some point. Someone had been after me.
Now, I was on the other side of the country. Whoever it was, couldn't get to me. Not with the mafia behind me. I just needed to make myself invaluable. If Luciano couldn't live without me and his siblings cared for my well-being, I was safe. Call me callous or crazy. I'd say I was a realist. I needed to survive and I could do that with this family. I needed an in. I had a start with Rosalina. Her marriage was on the rocks and it seemed like she needed a friend who wasn't happily in love. I could give her that. I wasn't in love. Not really. In lust? Yes. Sexy ass Luciano had charmed the panties right off me. Then he gave it to me rough as well. He was never soft, but I thought that had more to do with his family than him. Sometimes he would get this look in his eyes like he wanted to give me soft, but he couldn't. Something was stopping him. He didn't have a Ruby in his corner protecting him. Not like I did. Since he had no one, I would be his someone. Until the day he no longer needed me. I had no qualms that this was forever. This was temporary. A band-aid over his wounds. The ones no one could see. They were leaking blood, soaking the band-aids he put on them every so often. I wanted to give him more than band-aids. I wanted to stitch him up. To do that, I had to be more. It had to grow more. Then, when he was done with me, he would have his family there to soothe the ache of missing me. It wouldn't be a huge loss. Just something small and innocuous. He would barely miss me.
As if he knew I was thinking about him, Luciano turned and shot me a tiny grin. I basked under it like he was the sun. I guess he was. He was my sun and I was orbiting him, hoping for his rays. My sun. That was a good nickname for a man people called a monster. A man people whispered about in dark rooms. The guards talked. In every story, Luciano was the devil. A demon no one wanted and one they couldn't control. I wanted to see that demon. Drag him out into the light and then ride him from dusk until dawn. I guess I had a death wish. I was weird like that.
