Page 54 of Purgatory
Flint
(Cause we’re all secretly pyros at heart...)
K-bar
(Aka ‘nowthat’sa knife!’ – said in an Australian accent)
First Aid Kit
(Stocked with normal shit plus Ibuprofen and dry socks per Cole’s explicit instructions)
Hygiene Kit
(Just cause the zombies have nasty breath doesn’t mean I have to. Minty fresh, baby!)
Protein Bars
(Yum...)
Bottled Water
(Chug-a-lug)
Rope
(Kinky...)
Extra Pair of Clothes
(And more socks- Cole wouldbe so proud!)
Cole and I have had our radios attached to our hips ever since Jax left. He checked in that next morning confirming his arrival at the bug-out-bungalow but no one has heard from him since. I’m starting to wonder if we ever will.
“It’s been three weeks. Don’t you think we should go see if he’s ok? Show him thatI'mok? Convince him to come back? Something?!” Aly moves to sit up on the swing, setting her feet on the concrete and aiming a determined look at Cole and I. I take a breath, trying to approach this in delicate manner that won’t upset her. I know she misses him, but we have to be practical.
“Aly, it's not that easy. There’s a reason we take our guns and knives with us to town and it’s not so that we can look badass. There’s more that you need to look out for than just zombies. Regular, alive people, these days, aren’t what they used to be. There’s some, honest to God, fucked up shit in this world just as bad as the living dead, only with more of a pulse. Jax was crazy for leaving in the middle of the night, but, unfortunately, that’s what he did and luckily... thankfully, he got to his little hidey-hole safely. We might not be as lucky.”
Aly sighs again, frustrated at the circumstances. “But we can’t just leave him there all alone. What if something happens? What if something alreadydidhappen and we don’t even know? He hasn’t contacted us in almost a month!”Her hand gestures becoming wildly animated now with her frustration.I lift my hands, placatingly, showing her that I'm sorry we can’t do anything right now. She looks to Cole, hoping for some backup. He doesn’t give it.
“Sorry, gorgeous. Hawk’s right. Besides, Jax wouldn’t want us to come looking for him. Not with everything else out there, and definitely not with what he needs to work through. This is what’s best for him. He’ll come back if and when he’s ready to and not a second before that. Unfortunately, we’re justgoing to have to wait for him to decide what he wants to do.”
She looks down to her hands, clasped together in front of her, her elbows on her knees, looking utterly defeated. Her soft words echoing her stance. “It’s all my fault. If I would’ve just listened and stayed out of his room likeeveryonetold me, this would have never happened. He would’ve never treated me like that knowingly. It was that stupid, fucking dream. He was stuck in it and dragged me right in with him and... fuck, I’ve ruined everything. He’d still be here if it wasn’t for me. It’s all my fault.” She looks off in the distance towards the gate that Jax left through. Her eyes barely holding back the tears welling in them. Before they fall, she stands and walks silently into the house and up to her room, away from everything and everyone besides herself and her thoughts.
It takes all I have in me to not follow and comfort her but she’s been so withdrawn lately that I worry my coddling might push her further away from us. Some women just want to feel strong even when they’re allowed to feel vulnerable.
She needs her space to work through this just as much as Jax. She needs to realize the real reason why he did this isn’t because he dislikes her and wishes to no longer be in her company. In fact, it’s become obvious, at least to Cole and myself, that it’s quite the opposite.
“Fuck, she’s taking this hard,” Cole chimes in. “She doesn’t understand. It’s not that he hates her or blames her for anything. He’s away because he cares about her enough to protect her from himself.” He sighs, kicking his foot out. “We need to explain this to her, later. For now, let’s let her calm down. Have some dinner. Then, we’ll all sit down and lay it all out there for her. It might help her cope.”
I nod my head in agreement. “That it might.” I go to stand, stretching my stiff muscles and cranky bones. I look back to Cole. “Mind helping me whip something up for dinner? Since Jax left I've realized that I can barely boil water. Thebastard spoiled us rotten.”
Cole shifts and stands, laughing at my domestic embarrassment. “I think we can find something that even you can’t burn. Come on.”
Chapter 36
Cole
We both gather in the pantry and look around at what we have. I’m used to seeing it full of pastas, various sauces, cans of tuna, mac n cheese boxes, pancake mix, and the always reliable MRE’s (meals ready to eat) amongst other goodies. You name it, it was probably in here. Keyword:was.All I'm seeing, right now, are ingredients. Flour, salt, sugar, baking powder, boxed mixes that eventually turn into food, canned vegetables, and a fuck ton of different types of sauces and spices. Noactualfood.
