Page 2 of The Night Ride
“I have news…about your brother.”Her voice sounded strained.Odd considering she was usually much peppier.
“What’s wrong?”Knowing my brother like I did, I’d place money that he cheated on her and she had left his sorry ass.
“The Navy notified me.He’s gone.”She cried, her voice breaking.
But I knew what it meant.The United States Navy didn’t contact someone’s spouse unless they were dead.
The boxes of cookies tumbled from my grasp.Sharp eviscerating pain stole the breath from my lungs.My only brother, a decade older than me, had died.
The boxes crashed onto the floor.Not that I gave a shit about the stupid cookies, the ones he would never eat.Tears spilled unheeded down my cheeks.I cleared my throat, swallowing past the grief choking me.“How?When?”
“Two weeks ago.Beth, the Navy said that Evan committed suicide.”
“Two weeks?But why did you wait this long to contact me?”My brother took his own life, and it took her this long to let me know.How could she do that?I know we weren’t besties, but still.And how could Evan decide to check out?What manner of madness led him to think he had no hope but that?They were questions I knew I would never have the answer to.
“Yes.I’m so sorry.I’ve been in the hospital.It took the Navy longer to reach me because of it.Otherwise, I’d have contacted you sooner.”
With tears falling like rain, I nodded in understanding and kicked boxes out of the way.I stumbled, blinded by tears, to the dark gray sofa sectional in the front living room and lowered myself onto it.While the boxes sat on the floor and mocked me.
“When’s the funeral?Do you need help to plan it?”I hated the distance that had been between my brother and me.The least I could do was ensure he had a proper burial.
“Unfortunately, given my medical condition, I’m unfit to travel.It was Evan’s wish to be buried at Arlington Cemetery.I know it’s last minute, but they had an opening in their schedule.The funeral is in two days.I can send you all the details.”
“Two days?”I sputtered, thinking of my calendar.My heart sank.I couldn’t make it.I had one of the premiere culinary critics stopping by Sweet Dreams Bakery to review it.Martin Wong did not reschedule for anyone.It didn’t matter if they were a Michelin star chef or the President of the United States.He told you when he would visit your restaurant, and you made sure that everything was in order.It was a task I couldn’t pass on to my assistant baker.Not when his review could make or break a restaurant and its chef.I’d be lucky to find work elsewhere if he gave Sweet Dreams Bakery a bad review.
I hated that I had to choose my work over his funeral.But I couldn’t risk going out of business.I would go to mass here and have the priest say a prayer for him then.And perhaps I could put together a bunch of baked goods for the V.A.over at Jefferson Barracks.“I can’t go.My work…dammit.”
Paige sobbed, “I’m so sorry, Beth.This is my fault you weren’t contacted sooner.I should have called you right away.It’s just…never mind, it’s my problem to deal with.Please forgive me.”
Maybe if she had contacted me, we could have picked a date that worked better.I’d never know because she chose not to call me.“Uh, huh.”There was no point in blasting her over it.What’s done was done.Yelling wouldn’t resolve anything.It was water under the bridge.I would miss Evan’s funeral.Goddammit!“Does Nora know?”
“No.She’s not answering her phone.”
Which meant Nora was out in the wilderness somewhere.Again.
I would never understand my younger sister’s affinity for camping off grid.She used her portion of the inheritance from our mother’s life insurance policy to purchase the land for her Crystal Lodge Campgrounds.She’s a real Kumbaya, earth goddess, vegetarian, save the planet type.Which were all good things.But I was not built for living off grid for even a night.I required creature comforts like indoor plumbing and a bed that critters didn’t try to take refuge in or being worried about bears and mountain lions.I was more of an indoor girl, unless I was out grilling on my back patio or sitting poolside at a resort with a frozen margarita.A woman must have her priorities straight.It was a hard pass for me on roughing it outdoors, unless the apocalypse came, and it was the only way to survive it.
“You’ll have to keep trying her, or why don’t I call her?She might take it better coming from me.”Because Nora and Evan had been like two peas from the same pod.Whereas I had always stood just a little apart.Not on purpose, it was simply our personalities were different.“Is there anything you need?”
“Oh Beth, I don’t even know where to start, but I appreciate the sentiment, so thank you.For now, I need to rest and recover.”
“I’ll take over contacting Nora.And let me know if you need something.”We hadn’t been family long, but she was Evan’s widow, and I felt I should be there if she needed me.“Listen, I hate to cut this short, but I’ve got lots of work to finish up today.”She didn’t need to know I left early because the next two days were going to take a toll on my sanity.
“Sure thing.I’m so sorry it took me so long to contact you.”
“Nothing you can do about it.Take care of yourself.”I hung up before she could say more.I couldn’t contain my sobs any longer.Grief tore through me.
Tears fell like thunderous streams of waterfalls, coating my cheeks.
It was surreal to think I would never see Evan’s rakish grin as he swaggered into my house.My big brother had always had this larger-than-life persona.One I would miss with every fiber of my being for the rest of my life.
I curled into a ball on the sofa.The one I picked out myself.The first brand new, not bought at a secondhand shop piece of living room furniture I bought for myself.And it pained me that I had held onto my grudge for so long.Because there would be no reconciliation, no glimpse of the man I once knew and revered.
I closed my eyes against the pain, blocking out the sight of the broken cookies in their boxes scattered across the hardwood floor, and gave in to the tide of unrepentant grief cascading from the deep, dark recesses of my soul.
Because my big brother was never coming home again.
Chapter two
