Page 32 of The Night Ride
I glanced at my glass half full.Why not?Maybe I needed to drink and pass out.It would be better than doing what I wanted to, which was find out if he was really that large south of the border or if the towel had played with my perception.
“Sure.”What the hell.
After he topped me off and stored the pitcher in the fridge, he leaned against the counter with his drink and asked, “You still watching those true crime documentaries.”
We’d discovered five years ago that we each had an obsession with true crime documentaries.“I can’t believe you remember that.But I still love them.It’s sick and twisted I know, but I can’t get enough of them.What about you?Watch any good ones lately?”
“Hmm.Not recently but only because work’s been busier than usual, and I’ve spent a lot of time overseas.”
Anytime my brother emailed to tell me he’d be unreachable for a while, I’d held my breath until I heard from him again, and would always ask if his entire team made it through all right.Because I was always worried about more than just my brother.I’d been worried about Aiden too.The thought of him not existing, was unfathomable to me.“It’s got to be hard, being away all the time.”
Aiden studied me as I added the taco spices to the ground beef.“It can be, but at this point, eighteen years in, I’m used to it by now.”
“I bet.Are you planning to retire when your twenty is up?”
“Yes.I’ve debated whether I want to be a lifer or not, especially with my promotion, but I think by then I’ll be ready.Some days I’m ready now, but I’ve put this much time in.The best move is to finish out my twenty, that way I’ll get my military pension.”
I shut off the burner and moved the hot pan onto a trivet on the kitchen island with all the taco fixings laid out.“Understandable.I wouldn’t quit either.Now do you want to make your tacos or have me make them?And how many?”
He cocked his head and eyed me.“Hmmm.I’m going to let you make them.Something tells me they’ll be better that way.”
“You sure?I like mine a little spicy.”I nodded toward the salsa I used.
“Fuck it.I’m game.I’ll start with four.”He smiled, the light of challenge in his steel-blue gaze.
I laughed and shook my head.“Damn SEALs, you guys are all alike.”
“No, we’re not.”He scoffed and sipped his margarita.
I rolled my eyes as I assembled tacos on our plates.“Yeah, you are.Because someone tosses down a challenge, regardless of whether it’s good for you or not, and you accept.”
Aiden’s lips curled in a half smirk.“Think you know me?”
A long time ago, there was nothing I wanted more than to know him.“No, but I know SEALs.My brother was in it for more than half my life.And while I didn’t follow in my brother’s footsteps, I learned enough.”I made tacos heaped with toppings including the jalapeño ranchero sauce that gave them an extra kick.
He toasted me with grief clouding his eyes.“Touché.He was a great SEAL and an even better friend.”
We might have had our differences and said a lot of nasty words to one another, but he had been my big brother and I had loved him dearly.I blinked back the sudden onslaught of tears and nodded, then handed him his plate.“I haven’t read his letter yet.”
“I realize that.As much as Evan wanted us to force you to read it in our presence, I know it’s something you need to read in your own time.I won’t force the issue, not with everything you have on your plate.”
“I appreciate it.”We sat at the stools at the kitchen island and ate while we chatted.It was nice talking to him again.Something I had enjoyed more than I let on five years ago.“It’s just, we weren’t talking much.He never looked at me the same way after that night.”
Emotions crossed Aiden’s face until he sighed with regret.“It was my fault.”
I swallowed my bite and took a long sip of margarita before responding.“No, it was our fault.But he made a bigger deal out of it than was warranted.I told him that, but he simply told me I was too young and inexperienced to understand.”
“But you are young.”
He didn’t realize what my life had been like, and I was tipsy enough from the margarita not to hold back.I looked up from my plate and said, “But I’ve been on my own since I was eight.We lost dad right before Evan shipped off for the Navy.After dad died, mom became an alcoholic or maybe she was before dad died and I just didn’t see it beforehand.I shouldered all the household responsibilities including taking care of Nora because she was blitzed out of her mind.I’ve faced things no one should.Believe me when I tell you there are days where I feel ancient.”
“Evan never said anything about your mom being an alcoholic.”Aiden frowned.
I hated thinking about my childhood.It was a minefield of traumas.“How could he?He never saw it because he wasn’t there ninety-nine percent of the time.It’s one of the reasons I went to school in Saint Louis, even though there was a perfectly acceptable culinary school near the homestead.I had to escape.I was suffocating.”
“I’m sorry.I didn’t know.”
I shrugged.“It’s all right.No one knew but me and Nora.And I did my best to shield her from it as much of it as I could.But by the end, she knew and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.”
