Page 33 of The Night Ride
He took a bite of his taco and groaned.“Holy crap, Beth.You’re an amazing chef.”
“Thanks.”His praise filled the dark corners of my soul.It made me want to crawl onto his lap and have him hold me.It had been so long since there had been anyone I could lean on.And I knew he was one of the biggest, baddest guys on the planet and strong enough to let me lean when my world became too much.I lit into my tacos, starving after my bustling day.
We ate in companionable silence for a few minutes.I took a breather and asked, “Have you figured out what you’re going to do when you retire?”
He wiped his mouth on a napkin, with only crumbs remaining on his plate.“No, not yet.But I’ve got twenty-one months until I hit my retirement.”
“I’m sure your folks will be happy once you retire.Where are they at again?”
Shadows crossed his eyes.“I guess your brother didn’t tell you.”
“No, he never told me anything about you guys other than you were still alive and in one piece.”
“Mom had a stroke almost three years ago.She held on long enough for me to make it back home and see her.But then she slipped away.”
I put a hand over his, comforting him because I knew the pain of losing my parents.Even though my mom and I didn’t see eye to eye, losing her was damn hard.“I’m so sorry.It’s not easy, losing them, regardless of what your relationship was with them before they pass.What about your dad?”
“He’s gone too.I think after mom passed, he just didn’t want to go on living without her.They were married for forty-five years.”
“It’s strange once they’re both gone isn’t it.How alone you feel in the world.”In many ways I’d felt like an orphan after dad passed.
“I’ve been lucky to have my unit.They saw me through the worst of it.”
“That’s nice.”
“Who saw you through the worst of your parents?”
His question almost made me want to laugh.I knew it would sound pathetic, but I’d always been able to talk to him in a way I never could with anyone else.It’s part of what made our connection so strong, and the way things ended five years ago so difficult.But the margaritas had loosened my lips.“The same person who has seen me through it all—me.”
“But surely there was someone?”
“Who?My mom wasn’t there and when she was, she wasn’t a peach.Evan was usually halfway around the world.Nora was too young and going down her own path.I’ve got friends sure, but no one who’s my ride or die.My friend, Tracy, is close to that, but she’s married with two kids and is always busy with family.”
“Fuck, Beth.Why didn’t you tell Evan?”
“What would have been the point?It’s not like he could do anything.And I didn’t want him worrying about me.I didn’t want to tell him anything that might distract him, that might get him killed.Not that it wound up mattering much, anyway.”I rose from my seat and took my empty plate over to the sink.I ran the water over the dirty plate for a moment, fighting back tears.
I’d been on my own most of my life it seemed.When life got hard, I dealt with it the best way I knew how.But the hits kept coming and my strength waned.I kept getting up each day only to wonder what was the point.
Strong arms circled me from behind.His sandalwood scent tickled my nostrils.“I’m so sorry, Beth.”
The dam broke.I didn’t mean to start sobbing.But my life had been one hardship after another.And discovering someone I had trusted was stealing from me on the heels of Evan’s passing was too much.Even statues crumbled under too much pressure.
Aiden shifted me gently until I faced him, still holding me.
“I’ve got you.Just let it all out, babe.”He stroked a gentle hand down my back, soothing me with his touch.
I fell apart in his arms.
He held me through the violent storm of grief.Until the storm abated and it became just hiccups.My eyes were gritty and puffy from crying.I was certain I looked horrendous.Yet the last time I’d felt this safe, I had been in his arms on the dance floor.I didn’t understand why Aiden seemed to be my safe harbor only that he was and I couldn’t explain it.
Lifting my face, it was on the tip of my tongue to thank him.But by shifting my head it put our mouths inches from one another.My gaze zeroed in on his lips.Shrouded by dark gold stubble, his bottom lip was fuller than the top.
Maybe it was the margaritas.Perhaps it was the crying jag making me feel vulnerable.Or maybe even the unexpected offer of comfort from a man who I knew was tougher than steel.
I did what came naturally.Lifted my mouth further until our breaths mingled.
Aiden cupped the side of my face.His hands were callused and strong.And I leaned in.There were so many things I should do instead.Warning bells went off inside me.
