Page 18 of Lonesome Man
She didn’t stand. She shifted onto her hands and knees, then fucking crawled toward me. Seeing her like that, the hungry look on her face… Yeah, fuck, new kink unlocked. I’d never been overly dominant. I liked to laugh, have fun, but there was something about this girl, or maybe this situation, that was bringing out a different side of me.
You know exactly what is doing this to you.
My Libby, the real Libby, had fucking broken me. She’d broken my heart when she’d left me all alone. I’d lived for our once-a-week radio calls when we were kids, and I’d checked my email constantly when she’d gone off to college and we continued to talk as we’d gotten older. I’d wanted more, and I’d pushed for it. I’d made sure she understood where I wanted our relationship to go, but I’d pushed hard—too fucking hard, because she’d cut me off as if I’d never existed. All my fantasies of one day flying to visit her, or her coming here to see me, of finally holding her for real, of kissing her, making love to her had been blown apart. I’d only seen one photo of her, the one she’d sent me. I hadn’t even been able to see her face clearly, but I didn’t need to know what she looked like, that didn’t matter to me because I was already in love with her.
I’d dreamed of getting down on one knee, of asking her to marry me. I’d seen our wedding, played out the honeymoon in my head, then imagined her growing round with our babies. Our lives together had become real to me. I’d believed in it, that one day I’d have that with her.
Yeah, it was messed up, naive maybe, but every part of me had believed it.
I was hurt, and I was fucking angry.
Hurting her back wasn’t something I wanted, but I did want to punish her, I realized. I wanted to show her what she’d missed out on. Right then, I wanted to take her over my knee and spank her until she begged for my forgiveness for breaking me, for breaking us. I wanted her to shake and cry while she came for me—I wanted her to tell me how much she loved me. How much she would always love me, just as I would her.
I spread my legs wider so my dream girl could crawl between them.
That’s the real reason this sexy little woman kneeling between my knees, gripping my thighs and waiting for my next order, was here. Not just to live out the sweet part of my fantasy, the fucking and laughing, the affection and companionship, but because I needed to hear her tell me she was sorry as well, for throwing me away. I hadn’t realized it until now, or how badly I needed to hear her apologize, but I did. Before I let my Libby go for real, I needed to hear it, and this was the only way I could.
I kept my hands on the arms of the chair. “You went away,” I said roughly, the words wrenched from me. “You left me here all alone, and you didn’t say goodbye.”
My little wife stilled, then blinked up at me, it was just for a split second, before she drew in a shaky breath. I could see the wheels turning behind those beautiful eyes, switching gears, following my lead. Finally, she licked her lips, biting down on the side of the lower one. It made her look innocent and sexy, and made me even fucking harder. Her hands on my thighs flexed, squeezing. “I…I’m so sorry, Tuck,” she choked out.
I shook my head. “That’s not enough, it’s nowhere near good enough,” I said, shaking, almost fucking panting at this point. This wasn’t me, I wasn’t this man, or at least I hadn’t thought I was. But fuck, I needed this. “You’re going to have to show me how sorry you are.”
Her lashes fluttered. Christ, her eyes were actually glossy as she swallowed audibly. “Whatever you need to believe me, to believe just how sorry I am, I’ll do it.”
I believed her. I believed everything out of her perfect, pouty mouth. I gripped the arms of my chair harder. “You can start by sucking my cock down your pretty throat, as deep as you can get it.” I held her gaze. “I want to hear you choking on it, Libby, do you understand?”
Her cheeks darkened even more, but she nodded. “I understand.”
Chapter Eight
Libby
My heart was pounding wildly. Every word he’d just said was for me, for his Libby. I’d hurt him. I’d gone away. I’d left him alone and I hadn’t said goodbye. I’d made him feel that way—so hurt. Unwanted. Abandoned.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out again as I took his long, hard length in my hand and shuffled closer on my knees.
“I don’t want useless words, Libby, you need to show me.”
This was a different Tucker. He was hurt, angry. When we were able to talk over the phone, and in his emails, his tone was always light and sweet, fun. The pain I’d caused him was there in his eyes now, and in his voice. He wasn’t acting, this wasn’t him role-playing, not really, he was using me to release all that pain, to get the closure he’d needed from me four years ago but had never received.
Nodding, I sucked his cock into my mouth, taking him as deep as I could. I wanted to show him how sorry I was. Right then, it was everything. The broad head bumped the back of my throat and I choked a little. His fingers wound in my hair, fisting it firmly so he could use it to set the pace, not shoving me down on him, but letting me know he was in control.
I realized Tucker needed it, he needed that control over me because I’d made him feel powerless. He was up here in the mountains, and when I stopped replying, he had no way of talking to me, of finding me. His hips lifted a little when I sucked him back down and I gagged. Tears welled in my eyes, running down my cheeks as I did it again and again, desperate to give him what he needed, to make him forgive me for the way I’d hurt him.
Pre-come slid from the tip of his cock, and I lapped it up, running my tongue down his length, then I opened my throat and swallowed, clutching the head of his cock.
Tucker groaned, then pulsed in my mouth, coming down my throat without warning. Gripping a hard thigh with one hand, I did my best to swallow it all.
My throat was still working around him when he tapped my jaw and eased me away from his cock, then he was hauling me up into his lap and pressing his mouth to my ear. “That was a good start, Libs, but you’re not nearly sorry enough yet.”
I nodded. Whatever he needed, I’d give it to him. I’d do this all night if that’s what he needed from me.
“I think you need to be spanked,” he said roughly.
I sucked in a sharp breath, and Tucker stilled, waiting for what I was going to do or say. All I had to say was no, and he’d stop. I knew that with everything in me. I didn’t want to say it, though. I wouldn’t.
“Yes,” I rasped. “Please, I need you to spank me. I need you to know how sorry I am.”
