Page 40 of Even Vampires Bleed
Between Léandre’s vanished memory and my father refusing to wake up, I don’t really know what to do anymore, to be honest.
Am I wallowing in my own problems? Yes.
Do I want to change that? Also yes.
But do I have the strength? No. I don’t have that kind of strength. Not when getting up and brushing my teeth feels like a mountainto climb. Not when going from my own room to my dad’s feels like running a marathon.
I’m not feeling okay.
I will.
One day.
But just not today.
21
Cassiopé
It takes me another couple of days for me to get out of my funk.
I’m not feeling better, don’t get me wrong, but my mindset has switched, and now I don’t want to feel sorry for myself, either.
I also can’t stay in Notre Dame all day anymore.
I keep seeing Léandre, even if it’s from afar, and my dumb ass keeps hoping to see recognition in his eyes.
I’m too chickenshit to get close to him to double check, though.
I think I’ve cried all the tears I’m capable of, and now I just want to be away.
A bit like I’m doing rehab.
Yep, let’s go on a Léandre rehab.
That’s how I ended up sneaking out today.
Because instead of waking up and feeling like crying, today I woke up angry.
I woke up angry at the world. I woke up angry at a dead man. I woke up angry at a couple of assholes.
And oops, yeah, now I swear.
But I also woke up angry at my best friend and the man I was falling in love with.
Because somehow my brain made it so it felt like it was her fault that Léandre ended up with this microchip in his brain.
I know it’s stupid, because she did nothing for that to happen, and I’ve been trying to convince myself since this morning to no avail.
My brain and my heart are currently at war, which explains why I’m also angry at Léandre. Except I don’t know which one I’m the most angry at: the Léandre I was falling in love with, that left me here alone, or the new one who doesn’t know who I am.
It’s not healthy and I know it, so this is why I almost died—not literally, obviously—going up theSacré Cœur’s stairs at this unholy hour.
Why?
Because that’s where the leaders ofLibérationare hiding. Or more precisely, where they’re hiding under.
Because theSacréCœur’schurch is a well-known entrance to the catacombs.
