Page 17 of Deception & Daylight
The instinct to run has been ingrained in me for as long as I can remember, a habit formed from a lifetime of instability. I crave the comfort of belonging, yet the fear of becoming rooted often holds me back. Even now, as I savor this newfound sense of comfort, there’s a voice in my head urging me to keep moving, as if staying might somehow ruin me.
I spot Paige at the end of the long counter, talking to Rosie herself, and she smiles upon my approach. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite girl!” Rosie says, practically beaming as the older woman pulls me into a hug. I’m barely more than 5 ft tall, and Rosie is even shorter.
“Hey now! I thoughtIwas your favorite girl.” Paige pouts as she eyes Rosie from across the counter.
“You’re old news. Practically a townie now.”
Paige huffs out a breath, feigning indignation. “Worst customer service ever.” Rosie chuckles and heads back into the kitchen through the swinging doors, causing the mouthwatering scent of freshly baked apple pie to drift through the air.
“How are you feeling?” Paige asks.
And so it begins. I kept everything pretty vague when I relayed the information about my assault, but I knew I’d eventually have some questions to answer. As terrifying as it was, reliving it is worse.
“I’m ok. A little sore and the doctor said the concussion might last a couple of weeks. My ribs are the worst of it.” My voice is devoid of any emotion as I carefully lift my shirt, showing off the blue and purple marks that surround my torso on one side. Paige gasps in shock, clearly holding back tears. What does it say about me that my best friend can muster more emotion than I can? I haven’t even cried once — I just feel like an empty vessel.
“That’s awful, Mags. But I wasn’t talking about the physical scars.” No, of course she wasn’t, but I’m not ready to delve into the deeper wounds just yet; the ones that hide beneath the surface. They consume me at night when I’m most vulnerable and resurface during the day when I least expect it. I’m only a hairpin trigger away from a complete breakdown.
“All things considered, I’m doing okay, Paige. Promise. I barely remember anything.”
A mountain of pancakes, glistening with caramel and piled high with whipped cream, appeared as Rosie interrupted our tense conversation, the sugary scent momentarily easing the tension. It’s my usual order, and I think I fall a little in love with her at that moment. Not just for the pancakes — though I am grateful for those — but also for the brief reprieve. She sets the heaping plate down in front of me, then another topped with chocolate sauce and strawberries for Paige, and the mood immediately shifts.
“So, I took the liberty of setting up an interview with Patty at the local paper. She’s looking forward to meeting with you tomorrow morning.” A pang of sadness hits me as I take in Paige’s hopeful expression. She wants so badly for me to stay here with her; for us to be a biggerpart of each other's lives again. But we’re not the same people. I don’t love her any less, but I’m a wanderer, and she has roots.
I keep my response light, not wanting to put a damper on her excitement over the prospect of me getting a job here, however temporary it may be. “You’re working overtime to get me to stay, babe. I can see the wheels turning in that scheming little brain of yours.”
“Can you blame me? I miss my bestie.”
I lean my head on her shoulder. “I’ve missed you too.” I haven’t been spending nearly enough time with my best friend lately, and the guilt has been clawing at me.
“I’ve been thinking —” Paige starts.
“That’s never a good sign.”
She rolls her eyes, ignoring the barb, before she continues, “What if we bring the Books & Baddies Book Club to Chapters and Brews? I’m sure Ivy would be down. We could invite a few other people.” I instantly recognize that look in her eyes — it’s the one she gets when she’s ready to go all in. Full Paige-planning mode activated. I could say no and she’d still steamroll me to make it happen. I’m helpless against her when she gets like this. In ten seconds or less she’ll mention making a charcuterie board or some shit.
Sure enough. “We could have snacks. Have you seen those individual charcuterie boxes with the honey sticks?”
I snort out a laugh, and she frowns in confusion. “Think you’re getting a little ahead of the game, babe. Let’s figure out if anyone is even interested first. Maybe talk to Mo at Chapters and Brews.”
“Always the voice of reason. This is why I need you for these things.”
“I won’t be around forever. You’ll have to soldier on without me, eventually.”
Hershoulders slump as she releases a resigned sigh. “We’ll see about that,” she grumbles.
“Aww, don’t pout, Sunshine,” I say in a playful tone. I poke her right where her dimple would be if she were to smile, and she glares at me through narrowed eyes before a hesitant grin breaks out across her round face.
Rosie returns with refills for our drinks, and we get to planning everything out for the book club. By the time we’re finished with our meals, I have a mockup for a flyer to hang at Chapters & Brews, and we’ve started a text message chain for anyone interested.
“Heard you ran into Miles today,” Paige says with a knowing look. “Luca said he walked off the job site looking like a kicked puppy.”
“Oh, come on. You know I’m harmless.” My teasing tone feels disingenuous as regret swamps me. It’s been two years. I should be able to move on from this, but I just keep bringing up the past, and making things harder on both of us.
Paige’s hand lands on my forearm and her voice softens as she says, “Just… give him a break. We’ve all been a little worried about Miles lately. He hides it well, but he’s going through some shit. And I know you are, too. No matter how hard you try to hide it. You’re both terrible actors.”
“I think you’re just hypersensitive, my little empath. But I hear you. I promise I’ll stop kicking the puppy.”
She giggle snorts, and the sound is so familiar it has my own laughter bubbling to the surface. “What are you two giggling about?” Rosie asks, returning from the kitchen with a flour streaked apron and what might be the biggest slice of apple pie I’ve ever seen.
