Page 29 of The Baby Dragon Bakery
“Um,” Theo tried to think, but he could hardly come up with any coherent thoughts. He had been scatterbrained since Saturday—that moment with Lavinia, then the news about her date.
He must have looked as lost as he felt because a moment later, Saphira waved a hand, her massive engagement ring sparkling in the light. “Never mind.” She looked at him closely, voice turning gentle. “Are you okay?”
Washe okay? Not really. He wanted to be supportive, to be a good friend to Lavinia and help her in her love life because that was what she always did for him, but he was unhappy with the entire situation.
He was begrudgingly grappling with the fact that perhaps the reason he was in a bad mood every time Calahan was mentioned was because he was jealous. And if he was grappling with that fact, he had to additionally grapple with the fact that he was jealous because he wanted Lavinia to feel that way about him.
Becausehefelt that way abouther.
Theo was realizing that he’d had feelings for Lavinia all along, that moment at the engagement party had just brought it to the surface. And now it was too late because she was finding happiness with someone else, and all he wanted, truly, was for her to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.
That didn’t stop it from hurting.
Why, ohwhy, hadn’t he realized sooner? How could he have missed something so obvious? He wished he was more confident, but he wasn’t like Lavinia. He wasn’t raised in a loving household among people who always encouraged him.He knew if he fell, there would be no one there to catch him, so he was always twice as careful. What if—in being so careful—he had missed his chance?
Another voice flickered to life, reminding him that he probably had never had a chance to begin with. Compared to Calahan, Theo was hardly a contender. Lavinia deserved a swoon-worthy romance, and Calahan was perfect.
“Theo?” Saphira asked again, brown eyes worried.
“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. He sighed, unsure about how to talk about what he was feeling. It felt wrong to discuss anything with anybody when he hadn’t discussed that thing with Lavinia. “I’m just tired, I think.”
“Sit for a second,” Saphira said. “Suki won’t kill you if your coffee break lasts a little longer.”
Theo was too tired to protest. He sat down, releasing a long breath. “I don’t really feel much like going back, to be honest,” Theo said, taking a sip of his latte.
“What do you mean?”
“It used to be exciting, working there, but now, there’s no spark.” He rubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t really know why he was working there anymore.
“Maybe you’re just in a funk,” Saphira said. “You love baking, and you’re so good at it!”
“Maybe. Besides, if I’m not baking, I don’t know what else I would do. I don’t know who I am if I’m not baking.” He fiddled with the lid on his to-go mug.
“It doesn’t have to be your entire identity,” Saphira told him. “You can explore other things.”
But that would feel too much like failure. He wasn’t allowed to fail. He wasn’t allowed to make mistakes.
Saphira thought for a moment, then asked, “Have you decided what you’re going to bake next for the cafe?”
“I’m thinking of trying something new,” he replied, because this was something he’d planned out. He didn’t want to disappoint Saphira. “I was thinking of gulab jamun cheesecake cups.”
Her face lit up. “Ooh! What would that be like?”
“A classical cheesecake with gulab jamun inside, but about the size of muffins, so they’re easily sold individually. I love cold gulab jamun, and I think with the cold cheesecake it would pair really well. The textures, too: the silky cheesecake with the moist and melt-in-your-mouth gulab jamun.”
Saphira smiled. “You sounded excited just then,” she told him. “You lit up!”
“That was different,” he replied. “I love experimenting and sourcing stuff for your cafe.” He smiled a little. “You know Lavinia’s mom, Beena? She calls the desserts I make for the cafe the Baby Dragon Bakery.”
“Aw, I love that!” Saphira said, holding a hand to her heart. “I should make a little sign over the display cases that says, ‘The Baby Dragon Bakery,’ that would be adorable!” She pulled out her phone. “I’m making a note to myself right now.” She paused, looking up at him. “As long as you don’t mind me stealing the idea?”
“No, not at all,” Theo said. “I would be proud.”
“You should be! You’re incredible. I love the stuff you make for us here.”
He smiled, touched by her words. He stood up again, gaze straying to the clock. “I should really get back now.”
“See you soon?” Saphira asked. Nodding, he went on hisway. Outside, cold wind blew against him, but the sun was warm, and he felt a little better, having talked with Saphira.
