Page 111 of Hold Me Instead
She smiled at him, then turned it playful. “I can show you my dilators, if you want?”
He shrugged. “Okay.”
“Oh.” She should’ve known he’d be okay with it. “Yeah, okay.” She turned toward her nightstand and pulled out the size she was working with, the largest one she’d been able to use successfully. The one that was helping her mentally prepare for actual intercourse. “Here it is.”
He frowned at the solid tube of hard plastic. “Looks less fun than a vibrator.”
She snorted. “Um, definitely. I think they have slightly better options now.” She tapped it against her hand, thinking. “Maybe at some point, I could, I don’t know, maybe I could try it with you here? Might be a way to help us move forward.”
“Whatever you want, Charlie. I’m game.”
She nodded, still staring at the unassuming tool in her hand. “How about now?”
His head lifted slightly. “If you’re sure.”
“Yeah.” She nodded, an effort to build up her confidence in the moment. She grabbed her small jar of coconut oil from the nightstand and coated the dilator.
Zachary propped himself up on his arm. “Where do you want me?”
“Right there is fine,” she said. She slid the bedsheet down, then her underwear. Wearing only his shirt made the moment feel more intimate. Less clinical.
Her heartbeat picked up, and she realized she wasn’t nervous about the exercise, but actually excited. For as calm as Zachary’s expression struggled to be, she felt his gaze as it traveled over her, lingering on her breasts, traveling her stomach and lower. His hands clenched, and she realized he wanted to touch her. His focus on what she was about to do was truly sincere. Witnessing his struggle was genuine, personal, endearing.
A major turn-on.
Charlie’s breath quickened. She grabbed the towel she kept with her supplies and placed it underneath her. She bent a knee, straightened her other leg, and lined up the lubricated dilator, inserting it slowly. Zachary watched as she slid it in farther and farther, until she was just gripping the end, then as she slowly worked it around, stretching the inner tissues.
Finally, he spoke, his voice strained. “So this is how you do it, huh?”
Charlie nodded, unable to speak. Her hands were shaking, from the control of the exercise to the desire coursing unexpectedly through her.His gaze was intent, all on her. His fingers trailed ever so lightly on her side, and he glanced down and froze, as though he’d just discovered it.
He swallowed, his eyes darting to Charlie’s. “Sorry,” he breathed.
“Fuck,” she whispered. The hunger on his face, the want, sent tingles through her body.
“You okay?” he asked, voice low, hoarse.
She nodded, cleared her throat. “I've never enjoyed this before.”
He grinned, the smile crooked, mischievous. “Should I get closer?”
She bit her lip, nodded vigorously.
Zachary flipped the sheet off his body, wearing his black boxer briefs, and shifted lower, lining himself up with her waist. He inched up the white T-shirt and traced her skin, over her hips, across her stomach, down her thigh. Her breath hitched when his fingers went between her legs, their path close to her hand, but not touching it.
“God, Zachary.” She blew out a breath. “I am so turned on right now.”
He chuckled. “I like the feedback.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her belly, his tongue coming out to trace a path lower.
“Yes,” Charlie hissed. She slid the dilator out, flopping it onto her nightstand. Her hand tangled in Zachary’s hair as he continued lower. His eyes looked up at hers, and she nodded. She cried out, her body arching as his tongue made gentle contact with her clit.
“Sweet,” he whispered, his tongue tracing around it, keeping the touch light as it traveled back over the nub. He slid his hands over her thighs to keep them still and chuckled.
“Sorry.” She breathed. “Did I almost crush you?”
He settled between her legs and held her thighs open as he grinned. “Again, it’s good feedback.” When he pressed his face to her this time,his tongue slid up along her slit. He started off slowly, moaning at the sounds of pleasure she made. When her cries got louder and her hands gripped his hair harder, his tongue dove deeper. One hand stretched to pinch her nipple over the shirt, and she arched her back with a gasp, her hand flying to squeeze her other breast. Zachary groaned in response, his tongue moving faster.
Waves of pleasure coursed through Charlie’s body, her core tightening with each moment, breath shuddering. Her mind was consumed with it, free of concern, of pain. There wasn’t time to think, she only felt.
