Page 16 of Surface Scratch
Caleb nodded and swallowed the anger. It wasn’t an emotion he was used to. Depression, sadness, fear, anxiety? Those, he knew well, he could handle. But anger? He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this angry.
He moved forward quickly and swiped his cracked phone from the corner of the desk, keeping his eyes down and away from Marcus’s face. If he thought too hard about it, he would have admitted to himself that Marcus looked really cute with glasses on.
“Thank you,” Caleb said. He hesitated as he turned. “I, um, I have to go. I’m in a hurry.”
“Of course. I’ll see you tonight.”
Go.He rushed out of the room, his heart racing as he yanked the door closed behind him. He jumped and winced, not meaning to shut it as hard as he did. Wait, no. Maybe he did mean to shut it that hard. Hewasupset.
He shook his head, clearing the swirl of emotions from his mind. He could be upset later. He swiped away his lock screen as he jogged down the stairs. 3:43 p.m.Fuck.He would barely have enough time to cash his check and make it to his landlord’s office.
He stopped on the landing by the DJ booth, pulled up his contacts, and clicked on one of his few saved numbers. He began chewing on his lower lip as the phone rang, pacing back and forth as his heart pounded in his ears.
Finally, a gruff voice came through the phone, like he had just woken up. “Hello?”
“Mr. Johnston, hi, it’s me, um, Caleb Walsh,” Caleb said. He was louder than he had intended, but his nerves were shot. “I know it’s the fifth of the month and almost 5 p.m., but I just wanted to let you know I have rent for the month. I’m going to cash my check right now and bring it to your office, if you just wait for fifteen minutes—”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down, kid,” Mr. Johnston cut him off. “What are you talking about? You’re paid up.”
The phone almost dropped from Caleb’s hand, his sneakers squeaking against the tile as he stopped mid-stride. “What? When? Are you sure?” Caleb asked. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the envelope that contained his first paycheck. Maybe he’d had an elaborate blackout where he already cashed his check and dropped it off with no memory of it. Was that possible?
Mr. Johnston laughed. “Kid, I don’t know if you’re high or what, but you’re good.” Caleb stared down, his eyes impossibly wide as he looked at his uncashed check. “Your associate took care of the rent for the next twelve months. It’s a huge relief for me, so thanks, but look, I feel like shit today. I’m going to go.”
“Wait!” Caleb trembled uncontrollably. His rent was paid… for the whole year? He suddenly felt dizzy, his legs tingling, as if he wanted to sit down and jump for joy at the same time. But who… How…? “The person—my associate. What account did they pay with?”
“Ugh, kid, you’re killing me.” Caleb could hear papers shuffling through the phone. “Here, it was charged to a business card. Graves Euphoria LLC. Why? Is there going to be some tax thing—?”
Caleb hit the hang-up button as fast as he could, both hands struggling to keep their grip on his phone while he stuffed it into his pocket. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes, the realization dawning on him that the thing that had kept him up for countless nights was suddenly… just gone. But the tears weren’t from relief. He wished they were.
They were hot, angry, confused tears.
He didn’t even realize what he was doing until he heard himself shouting, his fists balled at his sides. “Why are you doing this to me?!” Caleb found himself in front of Marcus in his office, the doorknob bouncing loudly off the wall with a cracking sound.
Marcus pulled off his glasses and stood up, pushing out his chair as he did. He didn’t look surprised or even concerned. Caleb’s entire body shook, even his hair shook as his hood fell away. All he felt was an intense pain in his chest, like something had crawled in there to chew on his heart and stomach at the same time.
“I don’t care if you fire me, just fucking tell me why.” His voice had softened as tears began to stream down his face.
Marcus stayed silent, slowly moving from behind his desk with his hands stuffed in his pockets. His face formed a grim expression. “Is this about the rent thing? Caleb, I get why you’re upset. I’m sorry if I offended you,” he said softly. “I overheard you tell Andrew about your financial troubles a few nights ago and I wanted to help.”
Caleb took a step forward. “You know it’s not about that! I don’t need your fucking pity. I thought the first time was a mistake, you said that. But then yesterday… And now with this—”
Marcus shook his head, the muscles in his jaw taut. “We’re not doing this right now.” His voice was low, almost threatening.
“Just tell me you don’t like me like that then!” Caleb’s voice rose again, his fists balled at his sides. He felt like he was buzzing, his arms restless with the need to strike out and hit something. “Stop messing with my head!”
“Caleb, that’s not it—” Marcus started.
“Then what is it? Do you just want a fuck buddy? Is this some fucked-up way you let guys know that they’re just toys to you?” Caleb blinked away his tears.
A dark look fell over Marcus’s face and anger flashed in his eyes as one of his eyebrows twitched. “You need to stop, right now,” he growled, eyeing the wide-open door.
Caleb realized he was probably looking for an exit. Again. The painful clawing in his chest refused to let up. He wasn’t going to let Marcus go without an explanation. He had spent so many years doing what was expected of him, what he was told, no matter how it affected him or how much it hurt.
Not anymore.
“No.” His fists still balled at his sides, he took another step toward Marcus. “Just tell me why you’re treating me this way. Why do you keep touching me and kissing me and then running away? Why do you keep making me feel this way? Is this some kind of game to you?”
Marcus’s head twitched, his mouth curling downward and his jaw jutting forward. “Stop it, Caleb. You don’t know what you’re asking me.” He reached out to grab Caleb’s wrist. “You need to go.”
