Page 41 of A Duke Makes a Deal
“I don’t mean to say that you can’t, only that you shouldn’t have to.” Her eyes bore into his. “I wouldn’t try to stop you, I mean, if you so wished.”
He stood perfectly still for a moment, taking in what she had said. He wanted to, God did he want to, but he wouldn’t. His hand came up to stroke her cheek as a torrent of emotions swept over him. He knew what she was trying to say and while he appreciated her willingness, he wouldn’t explore that part of himself with her. Regardless of how much he wanted to, he didn’t want to pull her into his depravity.
“I wouldn’t make you.”
A flash of disappointment shone in her eyes and for a moment he wondered why, when she spoke.
“Very well then,” she said softly, her eyes unwavering from his. “I suppose, you may ask me.”
A serious sort of feeling fell between them beneath the moonlight and while they were the only ones on the balcony, Silas felt as though a third, otherworldly presence was with them.
“Clara,” he breathed as his arms involuntarily flexed around her. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes, Silas,” she said softly as his eyes dropped to her mouth. “I will.”
Joy burst within his chest at her words and without thinking, he bent down and kissed her, sealing their agreement.
The sweetness with which she kissed him a month earlier had been replaced with what seemed like a yearning desire. Shekissed him with a fierceness that surprised him and made his body respond in reaction. His hands came up to her face as she pulled at his lapels. Her kisses felt earnest and desperate, as if she were trying to hold on to something that might slip out of her grasp.
The need to pull her away from this balcony and find a bed was growing, but he couldn’t very well do such a thing in someone else’s home. Besides, he was going to do this marriage the right way. And so, with a great amount of self-restraint, he held her shoulders and pulled away.
They were both breathing heavily in the dark. When her soft hands reached again for him, he gripped them in his large grasp.
“We should return to the others,” he said, his voice was rough and breathless. She only nodded as she stared at him with wonder-filled eyes. “I’ll have to discuss it with your father.”
“Oh yes,” she whispered, her lips slightly puffed by his kisses.
“Perhaps you should go first,” he said, trying hard to think of anything that would lessen his reaction to her. “I’ll follow soon.”
Clara only nodded, but she didn’t move. When he tilted his head, she seemed to snap out of whatever daydream she was having. She turned and walked away, leaving Silas with a curious feeling of hope. She seemed both physically eager, yet mindful. A part of him worried that she might come to regret saying yes to him but then he didn’t care. She may indeed come to regret it, but he wouldn’t let her go now.
Chapter Ten
Though marriages wereoften the thing of gossip throughout London, resulting in the targeted couple being scrutinized or waxed on about in poetic stanza, no one quite knew how to approach the nuptials of Clara Woodvine and the Duke of Combe. On one hand, it seemed rather sudden that Clara Woodvine would be so quickly attached to someone other than Lord Dilworth, who himself had just recently suffered another disappointment as he and Bettina seemed no longer in each other’s good company.
Clara had been warned by Silas that they might be eviscerated by the newspapers due to his past, but theTimesbarely mentioned the previous Duchess of Combe, nor did any of the other publications. Silas had seemed so sure that the gossip rags would bring up his divorce, but as soon as their nuptials were announced, it seemed as if the entire city had forgotten about Silas’s first marriage.
While she had consented to marry him, Clara had been flooded with a whirlwind of emotions ever since she had said yes. Silas had been specific about wanting their marriage to be one of friendship but while she was very glad to be his friend, she couldn’t ignore other feelings that had begun to simmer between them. Nor could she ignore all he had told her, about the games he used to play with his previous wife.
Clara had decided to see if she could find any philosophies on subjects of control. She had read the Greek philosophers’ opinion of eros, passionate love and philia, friendship love, but neither spoke to the sort of relationship Silas had talked about.
There were some other writers, poets and such, who Clara heard about who might explain the nature of what she was searching for, but such works were rarely spoken of. Everyone knew the poet John Wilmot and the Marquis de Sade were libertines, whose works depicted vulgarities that no young lady should ever read. But still, she searched the library in her home for their books, unsurprisingly finding none by either.
Instead, she decided to readA Treatise of Human Natureby David Hume, the very philosopher she had quoted to Silas. It seemed there was something to be discovered in his writings and she was eager to learn as much as she could before the wedding. She made sure it was the first thing she packed in her valise when the house began to pack for the wedding, which they had decided would take place at Silas’s ancestorial home in Bedfordshire. Clara and her family had often stayed in Bedfordshire while journeying to London from their home in Lincolnshire, though they had never had the privilege of seeing the duke’s home. The wedding was taking place at Greystone Manor, as to avoid any fanfare that might lead to more articles being written about them and they would stay for some time afterwards, so that they could recoup from their public romance in private. Time alone, to explore what their relationship would be.
Clara knew that Silas wasn’t particularly interested in having the type of relationship with her that he had shared with his first wife, and as much as she told herself that it was fine, she knew she was lying. She wanted very much to explore all Silas’s wants and wishes, as well as her own, but he was adamant that they would conduct themselves as friends. He had repeatedseveral times in the weeks leading up to their wedding that their marriage would be based solely on their friendship and nothing more. He said as much the night before they were set to travel north to Nottinghamshire.
Silas had come for dinner and though there was a certain amount of excitement in the atmosphere as they dined, Clara couldn’t help but feel a tension in the room as she spooned her potato and leek soup.
“The journey shouldn’t take more than two days,” Silas said to her father as he picked up his glass of wine. “The midway point is Northampton. We’ll be staying at the Rose and Thorn Inn.”
Clara’s father nodded while her mother beamed.
“We are so happy to celebrate your wedding to our daughter, your grace. Exceedingly so.” Her eyes turned towards Clara as she sighed happily. “Imagine. My daughter. A duchess.”
“Mother, please,” Clara said, the tips of her ears burning with embarrassment.
“Do not dampen your mother’s spirits, my dear,” her father said, his eyes crinkling in delight at his wife’s joy. “She’s merely excited.”
