Page 79 of A Duke Makes a Deal
Clara had rarely ever been so unsure of herself or her life and it shook her to the core.
“There’s no need,” she said, moving around him in an attempt to avoid the awful conversation he wished to have. “I’m sure there’s nothing to say.”
She was vaguely aware of him turning as she went towards the wardrobe where her gowns were hanging. The sapphire color gown was probably her most flattering dress, but on the other hand, the soft yellow was darling, she thought to herself, trying desperately to ignore her husband’s presence.
“Clara,” he said, but she shook her head.
“Silas, I’m quite all right,” she said, giving him a false smile.
His eyes seemed to darken at her dismissal, but for the life of her, she couldn’t understand why. What really needed to be said, anyway? While Clara supposed she had been rather haughtywhen talking to Cynthia, she wouldn’t feel sorry for it and had no intention of apologizing, even if Silas told her to. She’d felt the need to stake her claim to the title and to her husband. Unlike her predecessor, Clara was happy to be the Duchess of Combe. She was proud to be Silas’s wife.
“I’m not,” he said lowly, but to Clara it was deafening.
Of course, he wouldn’t be. She tried to swallow her foolish feelings. He wouldn’t simply be fine seeing the woman who broke his heart. What a fool she was to be standing here, worried about her own silly nonsense.
Dropping her hands from her gowns, she turned to face him.
“I’m sorry, Silas, I didn’t even consider how you might feel at seeing her,” Clara admitted. “I was so consumed with my own reaction to her that I didn’t think of how hurt you must be at confronting her again.”
Silas’s head cocked slightly, his brow furring above his dark eyes.
“Hurt?” he repeated.
“Well, yes. Aren’t you?” she asked, confused.
They stared at one another for a long moment and the shadow that had plagued Silas face vanished. He took a step towards her, his large hands going to her elbows.
“You think seeing her hurt me?”
“Yes,” she said. “Didn’t it? You said you were not all right.”
Silas shook his head.
“My feelings are on your behalf. I hate that there was no warning—that she was sprung upon us so abruptly. I didn’t wish for you to ever meet her, let alone be surprised by the encounter.”
“Surely you did not think we would never cross paths?” Clara said, confused. “Besides, I was perfectly fine seeing her. I may have been a bit rude, I admit, but it wasn’t a traumatic experience.”
“I’m glad for that.”
A strange, stilted silence followed. Clara was sure there was more to say, she wasn’t sure exactly what. She gave him a small smile, which he returned, but when she tried to move out of his grasp, his grip tightened slightly.
Glancing up, she saw a heat in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“Silas?”
“Is there nothing that phases you?” he asked. “You always seem so wholly unaffected by things that would bother most people.”
Clara shrugged.
“Most people care about foolish things,” she said softly. “Like their own popularity or importance. I couldn’t begin to explain why those things never mattered to me. Perhaps because I spent the first half of my life as a schoolmaster’s daughter before my father’s inventions gained traction. In that quiet life, I never had hopes of impressing anyone.” She inhaled and exhaled slowly, as she averted her eyes, worried about her next words. “But to say I am unaffected would be an understatement. I’m neither happy nor mad that Cynthia is here, nor do I much care what she has done with herself or whom she now intends to marry. I am not interested in her or her escapades in the least. What I do care about… is you.” She swallowed, trying to remove the sudden lump in her throat. “I have fears, Silas, and insecurities and worries, just like everyone else. I am half confident, half full of doubt at all times regarding us.”
“What do you doubt about us?”
“That no matter how much I might love you, it won’t ever be enough to extinguish the pain from your past,” she said, ignoring the slight squeeze of his hands at her elbows. She looked up at him, which was a mistake as his face had become thunderous. “I know you said you couldn’t love me. And I wouldn’t want toforce any sort of lie from your lips, but please, Silas, don’t… Just don’t…”
“Don’t what?” he asked.
“Don’t be tempted,” Clara said as her throat constricted painfully.
