Page 82 of A Duke Makes a Deal
Shockwave after shockwave pulsated through her for what felt like eternity until her body finally sagged. It felt as though her bones had melted as her insides fizzled. Her hips dropped down to the bed as her convulsions ceased and Silas moved upover her body, curling behind her as his arm pressed against her chest, pulling her into a tight embrace.
Clara’s mind was foggy, like a night sky after a firework show. She could barely think, let alone decipher what had happened between her and Silas. Worried that trying to put it into words would somehow lessen the fragile state of their relationship in that moment, Clara’s hand came over his and squeezed his large fingers beneath her small ones.
Tomorrow, she mused vaguely as her eyes shut. She would speak with him tomorrow.
Chapter Twenty
Silas spent muchof the night demonstrating to Clara just how much she meant to him. But even as she slept—sated and relaxed—by his side, his mind seemed to refuse him any sort of peace and so he woke before the sun rose. He had been so sure about his own heart up until yesterday, but even with his growing relationship with Clara, he couldn’t help but think he had been wrong from the beginning.
His friendship with Clara had become the most important thing in his life. While he didn’t want to ruin it by falling in love, an act he thought impossible, he couldn’t help but have feelings for her. Feelings he had never actually felt before. Feelings of security. Of comfort. Not once could either of those words have described his relationship with Cynthia, which made him wonder if perhaps he had never really loved her to begin with.
His steps slowed as the realization dawned on him. Had he ever really lovedanyonebefore?
Surely he had. The sheer amount of passion and excitable fury that had boiled between him and Cynthia had to have been love. It had been intoxicating and painful. Yet even now as he considered it, the memory of those emotions seemed dull and unfocused. Compared to his feelings for Clara… well, the whole experience was completely different. Clara was warm and kind, and it was always a pleasure to be in her presence, even if shebaffled him more often than not. She was constantly surprising him with her startling honest and unique perspective.
With Clara, their lovemaking was endearing and poignant. With Cynthia it had been furious and excruciating. While the sexual pleasure he’d shared with Cynthia had been exciting in the moment, he could see looking back on it that passion of that sort was destined to burn itself out. But what he shared with Clara… well, that was something he wanted more than he’d realized.
Clara was the only woman he wanted.
Having woken too late to join the hunt, and finding that he wasn’t particularly interested in joining the baron that morning, Silas instead decided to take breakfast on the terrace, where the servants had explained it would be served.
Upon exiting the house, the familiar scent of cheroot smoke wafted on the breeze, causing him to search his surroundings. It had been months since last he smoked, as he had realized Clara didn’t particularly care for the smell of smoke on his skin and clothes.
Searching the terrace, his eyes spotted Lord Valle, whose back was turned to Silas as he looked over the western woods, hand on his hip, pushing back his grey tweed coat. In that moment, Silas realized how very similar he and Valle were. They were alike in height and stature and while their coloring was different, they shared similar shaped faces and an arrogance only one in their positions could be born with.
Valle turned then and saw Silas. His face was troubled for a moment before a cool smile came to his lips as he hid his expression.
How odd.
“Ah, your grace,” Valle said, coming towards Silas. “I had hoped to see you.”
The glint in the young man’s eye made Silas both wary and annoyed.
“Whatever for?”
“Come now, let’s not be enemies. Cynthia has told me quite a bit about you,” he said, grinning. “I think we could be friends of sorts.”
Silas was unimpressed. The lad was barely twenty-two, likely brand new to the sort of depravities Cynthia could show him and probably fancied himself something of a devilish rouge. Silas should scare him off, he thought as he rolled the cheroot in between his fingers. He took a step forward, deciding to demonstrate his own dominance.
“Perhaps we could be,” Silas said, his voice velvety and low as he came to stand before him. “Perhaps I could make you beg like I made her beg.” The young man’s sneer faltered as his eyes flashed with both worry and wanting. “Is that what you mean, Lord Valle?”
“I would, um…” He coughed, bringing his fist up to his mouth. “I mean,” he said, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Yes. That’s exactly what she wants.”
Silas gave him a pitying glance.
“Yes, it’s always about whatever she wants, isn’t it?” he said, shaking his head. “Where did she find you?”
“Excuse me?”
“She must have seemed quite enrapturing. She was to me when we first began our affair. But I assure you, Lord Valle, you will not find your peace with her.”
The young lord sneered.
“Much that you know about it. She’s the only person in my whole world who accepts me.”
Valle was angry, but it didn’t hide the pain that crossed his face. Yes, Silas was sure Cynthia accepted him, but it wouldn’t be the sort of life he hoped it would be.
“But only because she can get you to do her bidding,” Silas challenged. “You shouldn’t have to settle for that.”
