Page 36 of The Beauty and the Boxer
“Easy, darling,” he whispered, droppingkisses onto her cheeks and forehead. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head, seemingly unwilling tospeak.
“Are you nervous?” he asked and she gave atight nod of her head. His hand came up as his knuckles grazed hercheek. “You needn’t be. I wouldn’t do anything you didn’twant.”
“It’s not that,” she said after a moment, sosoftly he barely heard her. “I’m nervous because I do want it. Iwant this and I don’t think I should.”
Jack felt a surge of desire course throughhim. Yet he couldn’t help but ask.
“And do you know what this is, exactly?”
Meredith froze beneath him and he knewinstantly that she did know. She was not so innocent and while avery real and aggravated portion of his heart tore at therealization, it was quickly replaced by a need to comfort her, forthe expression on her face was heartbreaking.
“Yes,” she breathed, her voice breaking.“Yes, I do.” She inhaled and exhaled deliberately. “I don’t knowwhy I’m telling you any of this. And I understand if you, you thinkless of me.”
“Hush,” he said sternly, annoyed that shewould say such a thing.
Her scrunched up brow and tightly shut eyesmade him realize that she was frightened, but not about the act oflovemaking. Instead, he knew she was worried about how he wouldreact to her confession.
The strangest of feelings began to work itsway through him at that moment. Meredith didn’t have to explainanything to him, nor did she have any obligation to share hersecrets with him, yet she was concerned with how he would react.That she would be anxious about what he thought made him feelrather important and, well, it made his heart swell.
“Darling, youare just about as perfect a person as anyone I’ve ever met,” hesaid, his fingers moving gently over her cheek. “And I’m quite fondof you. I don’t care much about things that have nothing to do withme and if you’re worried that I might not feel the same because ofsomething that happened in your past, understand that it’s notpossible.”
“How could you not care?”
“Do you doubt me?”
A heavy pause followed and Jack feltsuddenly unsure when a single tear rolled down Meredith’s cheek. Hewiped it away.
“Look at me, Meredith,” he said and after amoment of hesitation, she did.
Jack felt as if the wind had been knockedout of him. Her greenish brown eyes shined up at him through tears.Her hair was damp and unkempt and her lips were swollen from hiskisses. She was so beautiful and he wanted her so badly that ithurt.
“God above, I want you, Meredith,” he said,his voice rough. “I’d like to take you right here, against thisstall door.”
“Jack—”
“But I don’t think that would be wise,” hesaid as every inch of instinct fought against him as he releasedher. “Not yet, anyway.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m going to, Meredith. Mark my words, butit won’t be here.” He took a step back, trying to calm himself ashe fought an internal battle. Jack Archer always took what hewanted, when he wanted it. What was he doing, releasing her? “Andknow that when I do, you’ll not have any doubt about how I trulyfeel about you.”
She gazed up at him, her eyes wide. Hermouth quivered at his bold promise. Jack’s heart seemed to do asummersault in his chest from the pride he felt for causing it.
“W-will you come to Mountebank’s?” sheasked.
That surprised him.
“Why? Will you miss me?”
She blushed deeply.
“I should very much like to have a friendthere with me, but yes. I think I will.”
She had said that word again.Friend.It had been interesting at first, tempting to be her confidant, butthere was something lacking about it. He wanted to be more thanthat and yet, he couldn’t even begin to understand why.
“I don’t think so,” he said, ignoring thediscomfort he felt at seeing the disappointment in her eyes. “Ican’t leave the offices if Simon is out.”
