Page 62 of The Beauty and the Boxer
“I was kept away from society. After Robertand Sarah delt with the Petersons, who were equally embarrassed, itwas decided that I would become a spinster, so to avoid scandal andkeep Beatrice’s reputation intact.”
“But why would Beatrice’s reputation beaffected?”
“The only thing worse than being a fallenwoman is being the sister of a fallen woman,” she said lowly. “Orso Mama would say. She said others would believe it was ahereditary trait.”
“How did your sister handle thePetersons?”
“I believe she and Robert paid them off tokeep it all quiet. They affectively disowned Clyde and banished himfrom their home. They moved a year or two later to another part ofthe country and I never saw them again.”
“And Clyde?”
She turned to face him, a strand of honeycolored hair falling against her cheek.
“Not since he left me in Scotland,” shesaid. “Not a note, no whisper of his whereabouts. I often wonder ifhe left the country.”
Jack watched Meredith as she peered into thefire once more, seemingly lost in her thoughts. He was oddly proudof her for having defended herself, but his pride was drowned outby the notion that she should have ever had to do so. He tried toimagine a younger version of Meredith, left alone in the wilds ofthe northern country. How could he have left her without any sortof resources, alone to defend herself without any help? Besidesthat, what kind of man struck a woman?
It made his blood boil.
The more he thought about it, the more herecognized that the fury he had felt earlier when he had been alonewasn’t directed at Meredith, but Clyde. How could he have basicallyleft her for dead? It was infuriating to picture.
An unbearable tension snapped through him.He felt just like he had the night he had received his scars. Heneeded to move. Standing up, he pushed back his coat with his handsas they rested on his hips. He paced the floor between the fire andthe sofa.
“I know you must be angry with me for lyingto you,” she said suddenly, watching as he paced. “Believe me, I’mangry with myself. I have been ever since, but I hope you won’trescind your friendship.”
Jack stopped.
“I’m not angry with you.”
“Aren’t you?” she asked, a weak laughfollowed her words. “You look it.” Jack dropped his hands, tryingto relax his tense body. “I feel like such a fool.”
“You’re not,” he said defiantly. When shedidn’t face him, he came to stand before her before squatting downto his haunches. Still, she didn’t let her eyes meet his.“Meredith,” he said softly, his hand reaching up to touch her chin,tilting it up until she had no choice but to see him. “You are nota fool.”
“I must be,” she said softly as her bottomlip began to shake. “Because I never do what’s best for me.”
God save him, he didn’t know what she wastalking about. He only knew that he had become increasingly worriedover her wellbeing and he felt it was his duty to watch over hernow. Not only her wellbeing, but her happiness and all the thingsthat made her happy, because somehow, she had become incrediblyimportant to him. Even now, as much as he wanted to touch her, tohold her and do all the things he had been dreaming about forweeks, he hesitated. His only concern was for her.
Did she just tilt her chin up and leancloser? God, no, this wasn’t happening. Not in Mountebank’s privatestudy.
Jack needed to remove all hedonisticthoughts of Meredith from his mind. He needed to not think aboutall the ways he could love her, protect her, and make her knowthings so that she would never have to wonder about his feelingsfor her.
But he also needed to keep his distance.
“Jack,” she said softly.
“Yes?” he said gruffly.
She opened her mouth to speak and he wassure she was about to tell him something. But instead, she justshook her head.
“I should go back to my rooms,” shesaid.
“Yes,” he agreed. “You should.”
Neither one of them moved, though. Jack wasabsolutely still, knowing that if he moved even a fraction of aninch forward, it would be a signal. Though neither spoke, it seemeda world of communication moved between them. Gradually, Meredith’shand moved from her lap and Jack’s eyes watched as her cold fingerscame up and wrapped around his large, scarred ones. Her eyes moveddown to their joined hands and he felt the gentle pressure of herhand squeeze his.
“Thank you for listening without judgment,”she whispered.
“I would never judge you,” he saidhoarsely.
