Page 44 of The Baron Takes a Bet
“And Marnie was all you had?”
“Yes, though I often wonder if letting me to the elements would have been more beneficial,” he said with a half-smile, coming around to an overstuffed chair. He sank into it, focusing on the fire as if lost in a memory. “She was so happy the firstweek that I came to live with her. She seemed to think that God had granted her a great gift, getting to raise me. It was flattering, I suppose, but I always thought it was curious that her greatest gift was my greatest loss.”
Holly held her breath, unsure what to say. Gavin had never told her about his past, nor had John.
“Did you two get on well?” Holly asked after a moment.
Gavin shook his head.
“No. Not after that first week. She had turned bitter not long after my arrival, and for three years all she did was complain and harp on about things that either didn’t matter, like the laundress’s hair color, or things she had no power over, like not being able to afford things. It made me bitter. I was quite an angry lad myself until I went to Eton at thirteen.”
“What happened then?” Holly asked, taking a seat opposite of him. The soft meow of Pauline caused Holly to turn, and she saw the large grey cat stand up.
Stretching her long front legs, the cat arched its back and approached them. Holly thought she might jump in her lap for a moment, but the animal only eyed them with mildly disinterest before leaving the room.
“Strange little thing,” Gavin said before peering back at Holly. “To answer your question, I was a bit of a problem. I fought most anyone who rubbed me the wrong way. I was small, due to the scarlet fever that took my father three years prior.”
“Oh, goodness. I’m so sorry.”
Gavin waved his hand.
“The doctors believed it stunted my growth, but I believe this is the height I was always meant to be. My father was shorter than me. But many of the boys at school thought I was an easy target. They quickly found out I wasn’t.”
“Why were you so angry?”
He shrugged.
“I thought I had a right to it. I felt I was owed something by the world for having my parents taken from me. Not to mention I had three years of living with a woman who did nothing but complain. That sort of living will seep into your bones, rot you from the inside. There didn’t seem to be anything that could make me happy,” Gavin said with a smirk, twirling his glass in hand. “Until I happened to find myself in a brawl with Silas Winters and Derek Tremblay.”
Holly cocked her head.
“Really? Clara’s husband? And the earl?” she asked. Gavin nodded. “And fighting them made you happy?”
“Oh yes. Or at least, it led me to becoming un-angry, if you will. They made me see that my lack of family connections was really more of a blessing than a burden. I had no one to impress but myself, no one to care for. There wasn’t anyone to depend on me or to worry about. I was essentially free to do whatever I wished.” Though his tone was even, Holly noted a touch of sadness, and she wondered if he actually believed his own words. “Derek told me that if I went around fighting the world, I’d only catch fists. And while Silas had everything in the world, it became clear to me that it couldn’t give him peace of mind. Of course, it took me five years to fully grasp these lessons, but by the time I founded the First Merchant Bank of London, I was quite possibly the happiest man in all of England.”
Holly smiled.
“What a thing to say.”
“It was true. At least, for a while. I was too distracted with work to notice anything else, but then… my old companion came back. I was unsatisfied, angry, and annoyed.”
Holly’s brow creased.
“Why?”
Gavin shook his head.
“I’m not certain, actually. I thought it was stagnation. I was simply bored with my life, with my work. So, once the bank began turning a profit and I wasn’t needed on the floor, I decided to start traveling. A bit of wanderlust cured me, and for the last five years, I’ve gone all around the world.” He sighed, and though he didn’t say it, Holly could sense he was unsure. “But even that has lost its luster over time. Strange, as I never thought it would.”
Perhaps that was why he seemed so unbothered by their current circumstances. He had needed a change and life had presented him with one.
She wanted to ask him more about that but wasn’t sure if she should, so she changed the direction of their conversation.
“And your relationship with Marnie? Has that improved since your childhood?”
He shrugged.
“She loves me, though she’s a misguided, miserable old bat. I suppose I love her too on some level. But isn’t that the way of it sometimes with family? You can love them, but not like them.” Holly could certainly attest to that. “Still, I’ve never wasted any time trying to make Aunt Marnie happy. The woman is perpetually upset, and I stopped trying to rectify that a long time ago.” He stared at Holly, and she shivered. “You can’t force people to change.”
