Page 58 of Forcibly Sold to the Bratva
“Because I care about you!” he roars, and the raw honesty in his voice stops me short. “Because somewhere along the way, revenge stopped mattering.”
“Why?” I ask fiercely. “It’s all our fault. We did this to Nikandr and Lilibeth.” The guilt dances in me with an ugliness that makes thinking hard.
“It’s NOT your fault,” he says ferociously, stepping just a little toward me, his hand cupping my cheek. “You hear me?”
“How can you say that? I could have stopped them…I could have shown them otherwise.” The tears just don’t stop.
“You didn’t know,” he whispers, trailing a finger and thumb to my chin, forcing me to look up. “How were you going to stop anything?”
“I didn’t know because I was a blind fool who wanted to live in her own little fantasy world. I was stupid. I was an idiot,” I say with such ferocious anger, keeping my eyes on his.
He looks livid, angry. “No!” his hands now wipe away my tears. “I will not have you talk about yourself like that, you hear me?”
I shake my head.
“Arina. I mean it,” he growls, cupping my cheeks with both hands, his face an inch away from mine. He dips lower, grazes his nose against mine, and whispers against my lips. “You’re the kindest person I know. The sweetest. Please, don’t do this to yourself…”
Something in me cracks at his words. I lashed out at him, said the meanest things, blamed him somehow for me living in the dark, and even then, all he has is kindness toward me. Around Ilariy, it’s easy to just forget.
We’re standing so close that I feel his breath on my lips. I think of those lips, the things he can do to me, the way he makes me forget the world when we’re together, and I lunge forward, grabbing his face between my hands, crushing my lips against his.
He freezes for a second before responding, his arms wrapping around me so tightly I can barely breathe.
The kiss is brutal, angry, and desperate. My teeth clash against his, and I dig my fingers into his shoulders. I push him backward until his legs hit the couch, and he falls back. I follow, straddling him, grinding against him as I continue to kiss him like I’m trying to devour him whole.
I need this—need to feel something other than this sick betrayal churning in my gut. I need to drown the voice in my head that keeps replaying Tikhon’s words about slitting an old man’s throat, and I need him to help me forget.
“Arina,” Ilariy gasps as I tear at his shirt, buttons popping. “Arina, wait—”
I silence him with another kiss, my hands moving to his belt. His body responds, and I can feel him hardening beneath me, but then his hands catch my wrists and bring me to stillness.
“Stop,” he says firmly, pulling back to look at me. “Not like this.”
I try to jerk my hands free. “Why not? Isn’t this what you want?”
“Not when you’re using it to run from what you’re feeling.” His eyes are gentle, concerned.
Something in me shatters. I wrench myself off his lap and stand, humiliation burning through me, and walk out of the room.
“Or maybe you just don’t want me anymore,” I say coldly. “Now that you’ve gotten what you wanted and proved to my brothers you took me, you’ve won, right? You caused them pain. Mission accomplished, right?”
“That’s not true and you know it,” he says, rising to his feet.
“Do I?” I laugh bitterly. “I don’t know anything anymore. My brothers are murderers. My husband married me for revenge. And now he doesn’t even want me.”
“Arina—”
“Don’t.” I hold up a hand. “Just... don’t.”
I turn and walk away, my body numb, my heart a broken, jagged thing in my chest. Behind me, I hear Ilariy call my name again, but I keep moving and head straight to my room, where I collapse on my bed.
The tears finally come, hot and unrelenting, soaking into the pillow as I curl into myself. I’ve never felt so alone.
I hate this world that kept me blind my whole life.
Chapter 17 - Ilariy
My phone lights up for the tenth time today, and when I glance over, I see Tikhon Sokolov’s name flashing on the screen. I ignore it just like I have ignored all his previous calls.
