Page 29 of The Other Side of Paradise
“Yeah. Except more like…” I put on an exaggerated grossed-out voice, like I was talking about a cockroach. “Yep… a guy.”
She laughed. “Not even a little acknowledgement likeyeah, he’s hot, even if you’d never do it?”
“Do you think that when you look at girls?”
“All the time. Just because I don’t want to sleep with them doesn’t mean I can’t be likeyeah, she’s hot.”
“Huh.” I didn’t want to think about Stella finding girls hot. I was already teasing myself enough with this. I needed to go in the opposite direction—convince myself about how thoroughly Stella was off-limits. “So, what makes Jacob hot? Because apparently I’m a weirdly bad judge of men even for a lesbian.”
“I mean, a hot surfer bod is cool and all that, but it’s just a fun little bonus. My type is more, you know… emotional. Like, what kind of guy he is.”
“Huh… I guess I can get that.”
“I more thought he was cute because of the way he smiled. Kinda like… like he’s just a big kid at heart. Talks about people like he likes them. Cares about stuff. I think that’s what’s hot.”
I closed my eyes, leaning back against the wall of the changing room. “Yeah… I can see that for you.”
“You know, you’re kinda the same way.”
I opened my eyes, looking at the changing room curtain. “What, hot?”
She laughed. “I mean, obviously,” she said, no clue what she was doing to me. “I just mean, you know, you smile like you mean it, you like things and you like people. You really light up when it’s time to talk about your art or your friends. I think that’s the most attractive trait.”
My throat tightened until it felt like I couldn’t breathe, my chest aching. I gripped the hem of my blazer tighter in both hands, measuring my breaths in and out because I didn’t know what else to do with the mess in my thoughts. I finally settled on flippant. “Is this you trying to show me how to flirt?”
“I’m serious,” she laughed, voice soft. “I think you’ll have no problem finding a girl.”
Jesus Christ, there was no way I was facing her right now. Not when she was talking about how beautiful my smile was and how the most attractive thing was the way I lit up about the things I cared about, and about how I could have my pick of girls, and then turning around to talk about this sexy lifeguard she wanted instead of me. Not that I’d ever in my wildest dreams imagined she actually would want me, but… I squeezed my eyes shut, dragging in a shaky breath, before I said, “We’ll see about that. I still manage to embarrass myself in conversation all the time.” I managed to push past my messy feelings enough to slide the curtain open, and I posed awkwardly in the opening. “Ta-da,” I said. “How’s this?”
She lit up, her eyes sweeping down over my body and back up, and I wasn’t going to lie, it kind of did things to me when Stella checked me out. “Damn,” she said. “You’re going to have girls all over you.”
“Uh… uh-huh. Yeah, I assume I’ll have three suitors trying to win me over before I make it to the car.”
She laughed. “Maybe I should go meet with Ryan and Brooklyn myself and let them know you’re occupied with your legions of admirers.”
Right. Because Stella was not going to be among them. And I had to stop overanalyzing her little pretend flirting thing. “Eh… I kinda like BB, so I’ll tell all my admirers they need to wait a minute to get time with me.”
She grinned, and she reached out and adjusted the blazer, shifting the way it sat on my shoulders, and my brain fritzed out for a second when she undid the top button of my shirt. “Mm.” She nodded, looking me over. “You look cute with it buttoned up one and with it buttoned down one. Your call.”
Was her opening all the buttons an option? Because I liked that option. I stared for a second too long before I laughed high and nervous. “Well—I mean—how don’t I look good?”
She smiled flawlessly while she cut me down to size with a, “In a ratty old t-shirt that looks like it fought in the last World War.”
“Okay, Jesus, call me out, why don’t you. It’s hard to find good clothes.”
“Well, now you have some. I look forward to seeing what you do with them.” She stepped back, taking her hand off my shirt. Why she’d kept it there for so long, I wasn’t sure. Probably to break my brain into tiny little pieces. “Okay, go get changed back and we’ll check you out. I need to get back to the resort before we meet Ryan and Brooklyn.”
“Oh—I took my car to Oakwood. Do you want me to drive you?” That was too familiar. “You know, just—it’s the least I can do after all this.”
She looked away, a flicker in her eyes. “Thanks. Normally I’d take you up on that in zero time because I donotwant to walk in the hot sun, but… I just want a second alone.”
“Oh.” I folded my hands at my waist. “Sorry. I hope I’m not too stressful to be around.”
She gave me a smile that was going to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life—this meltingly sweet thing that made my chest tighten until I genuinely wasn’t sure if I could breathe properly. “It’s absolutely the worst,” she said warmly. “I hated every second of this.”
“Uh-huh… only because you can’t keep up with my flirtation game.”
“That’s exactly what it is. Mm-hm.” She reached to put a hand on my shoulder, but when I tightened, she stopped, pulling it away—I think she thought I was reacting because I didn’t like touch, which was better than her realizing it was that I was going to die if she touched me. “Honestly, this was exactly what I needed. I just… I don’t want you around if Dad catches me. I’d be mortified if he tried to drag you into this.”
