Page 34 of The Other Side of Paradise
I shot her a look. “What do you mean,okay?Not your type? She lookssoathletic.”
“Uh, yeah, about that, I, uh…”
I laughed, giving her a playful shove on the back. “Oh my god, you’re shy,” I said. “Go, go. This is your chance.”
“Huh—you want me to hit on her? What makes you even think she’s gay?”
“It’s worth a try, right? People like to try new stuff on vacations. She’s hot, right?”
“I mean, she’s fine?”
I huffed. “Okay, fine! You’re not into her! So which girls heredoyou think are hot?”
“Uh…” She looked around the beach, gesturing vaguely. “I don’t know. They’re all… fine?”
“Seriously, nobody at all? There’s a million hot swimmer girls here and not one is your sexy athletic girl crush?”
“I’m not really… uh… athletic girls aren’t really my…”
“What? Brooklyn just said they are your type. Whatis?”
She looked at me, briefly, before she blushed, looking away, hunching her shoulders. “Uh… yeah. Yes, actually. Yeah, you got me. I’m just, uh, shy. You know—I’m not athletic so I feel like they’d judge me.”
I pushed out a long breath, some sensation I couldn’t name tangling in my chest, and I put a hand on her shoulder. “God, you should have just said so,” I laughed. “So youdothink she’s hot, you’re just too shy.”
“Um… yeah.”
Was I disappointed? I didn’t know why. I’d finally gotten Allison to admit to it, and I was going to send her off to hopefully score that hot hookup she was after. I’d get some time to go talk to boys—I’d been talking to Allison and Ryan and Brooklyn this whole time, and I hadn’t gotten the chance to actually approach anybody. We’d both get our chances to do some flirting, check back in, it’d be great. Everything I was after here.
I probably just didn’t want to be left alone with my thoughts. Sitting with my thoughts wasn’t what I excelled in, especially not after the whole thing with Dad that I’d been running away from all day. And just… ugh.
“We’ll check back in,” I said, looking back over my shoulder towards Ryan and Brooklyn, only to find the two of them gone.Probably up for drinks. I’d check the bar up that way and, if they weren’t down to hang out, guess I was off to do some flirting. “You go talk to her, I’ll go find someone to talk to, and we’ll reconvene to see how it went. Unless your new swimmer girlfriend wants to take you back home with her, in which case… see you tomorrow.”
She rolled her eyes with a huff, her face bright red, and she stomped out into the surf. “Yeah, yeah—sure—right. Okay, Stella. But this isn’t going to lead to anything. I’m doing this to humor you.”
“Uh-huh. Sure. Have fun,” I called laughingly after her, but I didn’t know why there was this pang like I kind of hoped she was right.
Ugh. I was just lonely. And stupid. And I didn’t know how to do anything about that. But maybe I could bat my eyelashes at some cute guy andhe’ddo something about it.
Chapter 12
Allison
Jessica wasn’t my type.
The swimmer Stella had basically shoved me out into the water to try to talk to—she was objectively gorgeous, with that whole model build where she was tall and slim but still had curves, tanned skin that made her blue eyes stand out more, the whole deal. I’d probably have gotten all quivery and nervous and awkward around her a week ago, but now all I could think about was that she wasn’t Stella.
God, that girl had ruined me. Right when I’d made a resolution to actually hook up with a girl, here we were. Guess the universe heard me say something stupid like thatI,Allison Holt, would try a casual fling, and it stepped in to help stop me, once it was done laughing its ass off.
Paradoxically—or I guess obviously, the way it always worked—I was a million times smoother in conversation when I wasn’t remotely interested. Now that I was too distracted with Stella to be into this girl, I was able to wade out into the water next to her and strike up a casual conversation as easily as anyone, and she was really sweet—introduced herself as Jessica, here on vacation from New York, together with her friends.Stella had the right read on the situation with her—all her friends loved to surf, and Jessica had been right there with them, but she’d had a surfing accident last year and was still hesitant to get back on a board.
“Well, I guess I kinda feel that,” I said, once we’d passed the heavy point of that conversation, the two of us floating out in the water at that point, idly kicking with the low waves that rolled in and out. “I came out here with three friends, and two of them ditched me to, as best as I can tell, have sex, and the other one—the one I have a crush on despite my very, very best efforts—is off flirting with guys right now.”
She let out a low whistle. “Hell of a beach trip. Crushing on a gay guy is rough.”
“I’ll… I’ll tell you what’s worse, is crushing on a straight girl.”
“Oh. Damn. Yeah, that feels worse.”
