Page 49 of The Other Side of Paradise
“I mean, she’s just got that whole… you know, wears her heart on her sleeve. She reallyfeelsthings and stuff. And she’s so enthusiastic about the things she likes, and she’s got all these big dreams and…”
“And this isn’t a serious crush.”
“Fuck me,” I groaned, melting into my hands. “I’d always felt so good about the fact that I’d never had a crush on a straight girl. What am I supposed to do?”
“Would if I could give you a drink, Allison,” she laughed.” It’s really up to you what to do now. Nothing wrong with spending time with a one-sided crush and just enjoying the feeling of having feelings. Nothing wrong with drawing a strict line and walking away either. Nothing wrong with trying to find another girl to distract yourself, and nothing wrong with not wanting to do that anymore. For better or worse, there’s no rules for this kind of thing.”
I wished there were. I would bristle at them, but I wished there were. I looked away. “God, it’s stupid. It’s not like I’m giving up on the whole… finding a girl, thing,” I mumbled. “Mostly because…”
I trailed off. Brooklyn read me for filth. “Because Stella’s locked in on helping you with it, and that’s how you get to spend time with her.”
“How messed up is my life?” I groaned, and she beamed.
“Oh, very. What an absolute fucking trainwreck. Do you want a Shirley Temple to make things better?”
“I’m not five years old.”
“Hey, don’t knock the ST.”
I got a Shirley Temple. With an extra cherry. It was a good choice.
“Honestly,” Brooklyn said as I brooded into my drink, “maybe not the worst setup. There’s three potential outcomes, none of which are that bad.”
I looked at her skeptically. She counted off on her fingers.
“One, you succeed in finding another girl, and it distracts you. Two, you don’t, but you get to spend some fun time together with a cute girl you like.”
“What’s option three, then? If options one and two are that I do or I don’t.”
She grinned. “Three is that Stella decides to experiment a little.”
“The—shut up,” I blurted, choking on my drink, my face as red as the cherries. “Don’t say things like that.”
“What?” she laughed. “A lot of girls experiment on vacation. Trust me. I’d know.”
“Don’t give me false hope,” I groaned into my hands. “She’d be way out of my league anyway.”
She looked over my shoulder at the door opening behind me, and she stepped back, preparing to take whatever customer was coming in to save me from this conversation. “I don’t think she’d be too out of your league,” Brooklyn said, her voice raised more in thatwe’re wrapping upway, but I still wanted to get in one more protest.
“She’s—” I said, but I had a heart attack when Stella’s voice came from behind me.
“Who? What? Who’s out of Allison’s league? Is there a girl you like who you’re hiding from me?”
“Uh—uh.” I whirled back on where the sight of Stella broke my brain in general, but especially seeing her in a swimsuit again, and before I knew what I was doing, I’d fully checked her out. Oh, god. I needed an out. “Hi—oh, uh—” I cleared my throat hard enough it hurt. “I was talking to you in the lobby, like, two seconds ago. What kind of quick-change artist are you?”
It hadn’t been that short. It just felt faster because I’d been texting her. It didn’t matter anyway, because Stella folded her arms and said, “Don’t change the subject. Are you talking about Jessica?”
“No!” I protested, and she narrowed her eyes.
The man with her—there was a man with her. I hadn’t even noticed until now. It took me a second to place him as Oscar, her brother. Supposedly Ryan’s twin, but Ryan looked nothing like him, so surely one of them was pulling a fast one. He didn’t seem to care too much about what was going on, and I’d never envied anyone quite as much. Except for Jacob yesterday.
Stella’s look sharpening pulled me back into the moment, and I protested further. “I’m not—I’m not interested in Jessica. We were talking about… celebrity crushes.”
“Oh, boring.” Stella’s shoulders fell. “Who’s the celebrity crush? This place is kind of luxe, I bet celebrities come around here sometimes.”
Oh, god, now I needed a celebrity crush. Stella’s face shape reminded me a little of someone. “Ariana Grande,” I blurted the second I placed it. I’d be kicking myself if my feet weren’t too busy lodged in my mouth. Stella laughed, dropping her hand on my shoulder. “Sothat’syour type,” she said. “Ariana Grande would be lucky to have you.”
“Okay, let’s not exaggerate,” I muttered, looking away. Ariana Grande could proposition me right here at this bar and I wouldn’t notice if Stella was on my other side.
