Page 57 of The Other Side of Paradise
“I mean, maybe,” she laughed, and I felt my face prickle. “What was her name?”
“C… Cass… andra. Cassandra.”
“You just made that up.”
“It was a long time ago. So I forgot. It might have been Cassidy. Or Cas… pian.”
She smiled wider. “Caspian. That’s what we’re going with?”
“Apparently,” I said, voice strangled. “Probably not that one.”
She laughed again, and she said, “You know, I’m not going to be weird about it if you’re attracted to me.”
“Huh?” My voice came out strangled and tiny, turning back on her with my face molten hot. “You? Oh, you mean like…” Iforced out a terrible fake laugh. “No, no. I mean, no. Not at all. I mean, you’re lovely, um… just… you know…”
She smiled wider, eyes gleaming. “Oh, yeah? Who is it, then?”
“Fuck.” I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “I am so sorry. I’m trying not to. I’mtryingnot to be weird.”
She laughed, relaxing back in the seat, kicking one leg up over the other. “Relax,” she said. “I just told you I’m not going to be weird about it. You’re allowed to crush on whoever you damn well like.”
I let out a heavy sigh, slumping back against the seat. I was mortified beyond words, but at the same time, it felt like a huge weight taken off my chest, like I could breathe a little easier, not having to do the world’s worst job of lying anymore. Just to sit in this awkward space instead. I didn’t know what to do in this situation. “How long did you, uh, know?” I mumbled.
“Ryan told me when she was going off about her hookup with Brooklyn that you had a crush on me.”
“That little—” I pressed my fingers into my temples. “I… can’t complain as much as I want to, I did the same thing with her and Brooklyn. Ugh.”
I guess that explained the whole thing with her being extra touchy-feely and calling meAllison, Allisonevery five minutes since then, if she… wait, no it didn’t. It didn’t explain anything about that. Not unless she knew I had a crush and wanted to flirt with me knowing that. Why on earth would she want to flirt with me knowing that? I mean, there was an obvious explanation for that, it just didn’t make any damn sense. Two plus two was equaling thirty-eight pi cubed, and I was hitting a wall.
“So how longwasit, then?” she laughed. “If you had to ask how long ago I noticed.”
“Uh. Dunno. I mean, just hanging out more, talking more, I kinda started to feel like, well, you know, I guess…”
She smiled. I groaned, burying my face in my hands.
“Literally from the instant I first saw you. Okay, there. Can I just jump over the railing now?”
“No, you absolutely cannot,” she laughed. “Should I apologize for the flirting thing?”
“No—no. I mean, you thought it was something different from what it was. That’s on me.”
“How is it on you?”
“For—you know—feeling that way? About you?”
She laughed. “You’re allowed to have a crush, Allison.” Oh, god, again with the name. And the way shelookedat me. That gleam in her eyes when she looked straight into mine, that slight smile dancing on her lips. I was going to die. “So,” she said, smiling wider. “Whatdidhappen at the beach, anyway?”
Ugh—Jesus fucking Christ. I didn’t care if it was out there now, I wasnotadmitting to taking a quick break to rub one out thinking about her. I decided to go with the closest decent thing to the truth. “I was going to die of embarrassment with you talking to me about my sexual preferences, and I needed to… you know, pull myself together before I faced Brooklyn.”
She laughed, relaxing back in her seat, picking up her drink. “Sorry,” she said, not sounding remotely sorry. “So, no interest in Jessica after all, then.”
I looked away, lips pursed. “Absolutely zero.”
“And it wasn’t just that you also needed to go run off and get work done?”
“Oh, that was, uh.” I scratched my head. “Ryan and BB? I’m pretty sure they left for a quickie.”
“Oh, shit.” She looked down at her drink, brow furrowed, and she broke out laughing. “Oh, god, you’re right.That’swhy Ryan looked so happy when she got back. I was like, Jesus, don’t look so giddy about having had the chance to interrupt yourbeach trip for work. Ugh, I’m jealous. I’d love to bail on the beach for quick car sex and then pick up right where I’d left off.”
