Page 73 of The Other Side of Paradise
God, I didn’t know how she just up andsaidsomething like that. I made some noises that were not English for a good few seconds before I said, “I mean. Iguessyou could say it like that?”
She spoke like an interviewer when she said, “At the same time?” I guess Ryan was rubbing off on her.
“Is that important?” I squeaked, and she nodded, much more gravitas than this deserved.
“Very.”
“Um… no.” I felt like I needed to itch every part of my body at once.
She leaned in closer, grinning ear to ear. “You first, or her first?”
What the fuck was the point of trying to hide things anymore? “Me… first,” I mumbled, and she lit up.
“Oh, damn. That’s good news.”
“It is?” I gave her an incredulous look, and she laughed.
“I mean, look at the situation. She went out with you. Took you back to her hotel room and told you to touch yourself—”
“Jesus, BB, that’s not what happened!” I blurted, my face hot, and she grinned, eyebrows high.
“Isn’t it?”
“It’s—” It was exactly what happened. I buried my face in my hands. “It’s just a bit of an… oversimplification…”
“So that’s a yes,” she said, her voice smug, which was annoying mostly because she had every right to be. “Told you to touch yourself—I assume she watched—and then she got herself off, too. Because of how much it turned her on. And I assume you watched.”
“I’m not answering that,” I said, voice ashen.
“You watched, right?”
I put my hands up. “Of course I fucking watched! Jesus Christ, she’s so fucking hot I don’t know what the fuck ishappening.”
She laughed. “What do you mean, you don’t know what the fuck is happening? You got off together. I mean, you basically had sex, just sex for a girl who’s still nervous about being with a girl. You had sex with the girl of your dreams, and you spent the night with her. I don’t see the problem.”
Well, I guess putting it like that, it sounded pretty good. But still. I groaned, hanging my head. “She wants to…” I hugged myself tightly. “She asked me if I wanted to get dinner.”
Brooklyn spoke carefully weighing each word. “That doesn’t sound like a problem.”
“I saidno, is the problem,” I groaned. She gave me the weird-ass look I deserved.
“You said no?”
“There’s something wrong with me…”
“Why?”
“Because!” I threw my hands up in frustration. “Because I’ll… because I’m fucking stupid, that’s why. And I know I’m going to spend two seconds with her and be stupidly in love with her and I’m working tomorrow and the day after and then she’s going to leave, so I won’t get as much time with her as I want, and I’m going to be fucked up for years because—because she’s so good and she’s so far out of my league, and I just thought—I mean, I don’t know, I promised I’d have a hookup! A one-night stand! This was close enough!”
She frowned, her eyes narrowed studying me. “You’re already basically in love with her as it is now. Isn’t it better to have three partial days with her than to have just one night? You don’t really think it’snotgoing to hurt just because you cut it off like this, do you?”
God, I didn’t fucking know. I was just stupid. I covered my face again, sinking into the seat. “I’ve got… too many… issues,” I mumbled. “She’s so good, and… if I keep doing this, then I’ll start getting ideas about being able to do more with her. And then I might do something stupid like ask her about that, and then she’ll laugh in my face and tell me how I’m ugly and annoying and just good to keep her company for an orgasm while she’s bored on vacation, and she’ll leave and never see me again, and I’ll look her up and see her with some guy who looks a million times better than I do, being all happy and in love, having a million babies, and I’ll walk into the fucking ocean and fucking die.”
“Or she might have had sex with you because she’s into you.”
I pouted. “I doubt that.”
“It’s not that weird a thought.”
