Page 74 of The Other Side of Paradise
I scowled, folding my arms. “It is. And we didn’t have sex!”
“Uh-huh…” She didn’t seem convinced. To be fair, neither was I.
“We just… did our own things.”
“Right,” she said, nodding. “Would you do that with a man?”
Well, that was a gross thought and I wasn’t reading into why. I cleared my throat. “No…”
“Because you’re not into sex with men.”
“That’s… different,” I mumbled.
“If you were exclusive with somebody, would you do that with somebody else?”
I shot her a horrified look. “No—of course not!” I already had enough guilt around being the other side of that without her putting me in that spot. She smiled serenely.
“Because it’s sex?”
Ah, fuck me. She won. I buried my face in my hands. “Okay, maybe it waskind ofsex. I don’t fuckingknow. Either way, it’s not like she’s going to feel anything for me like what I feel for her!”
She shrugged. “You’re already going to regret not having more time with her whatever happens. It’s too late to not catch feelings for her. Just enjoy it while it’s happening. Who knows? Life surprises you anyway.”
Ugh. That sounded nice and all, but… “There’s no way I have a chance anyway,” I mumbled. “She probably hates me since I said no. It was all awkward and embarrassing for everyone… I lied and said I had other plans, but she totally knew I was lying, so we were all just politely pretending we all believed this, and then she went off to see her family, and I’m an idiot.”
She leaned over the table towards me, an intense look on her face, and she said, “Allison, look me in the eye right now andtell me youwon’tregret missing the chance to maybe get her off yourself next time.”
“Brooklyn!” I shot her a look, my face hot. “I swear to god.”
“What?” She put her hands up. “Am I wrong?”
Well, no, she wasn’t. Thinking of it… of how fucking perfect Stella had looked last night while she was touching herself looking at me, the heat in her face as she was getting close… thinking about if I had the opportunity to touch her, or how sheliked receivingwhen it came to…
“You’re picturing it now, aren’t you,” Brooklyn said, and I about jumped out of my skin, shooting her a withering look.
“Ugh! Leave me alone!”
“All right, I will,” she laughed, patting me on the shoulder. “Just think about what I said. I’ll bet you a million dollars Stella would gladly go with you if you came back and saidhey, sorry, I was lying about my plans, I was just nervous, can we still do dinner?”
Yeah, sure. “She’s got way better things to do,” I mumbled, not looking at her.
“Didn’t stop her from doing you.”
“Oh my god. You’re the worst,” I said, standing up. “I’m going back to my place. Go… hang out with your girlfriend.”
“See you later, Allison,” she laughed. Everything rolled right off her… I sighed.
“Um… I guess I’ll… keep it in mind,” I mumbled, looking down. “What you said. Okay. Whatever. Bye.”
I left before she had the chance to say anything else embarrassing, making it double-time across the resort and skipping out on the cafeteria, heading back for my car instead—got back to the parking lot and slumped in the driver’s seat of my car, leaning the seat back and staring up at the roof.
It was easy for her to say things like that.Shedidn’t have to deal with the letdown if she let herself believe things like that.
But I wanted so, so,sobadly for her to be right. To… I don’t know. To kiss Stella. That was what it really came down to, wasn’t it?
I wished I were brave enough. But I hadn’t been brave enough to tell Ellie’s girlfriend anything, so what were the odds I’d have the guts to say anything to Stella?
Maybe… maybe not zero. But probably pretty close to it.
