Page 79 of The Other Side of Paradise
He drew a long breath, trying not to let the quiver in it show, but it was hard not to see it, not in my own father. “I want the same damn thing every parent wants,” he said. “I want you to be successful and happy and healthy. And I feel like you don’t care about everything we all do for that.”
“And you want to do that by taking me away from something I wanted so much and worked so hard for?” I said, voice thick.
“The internship wasn’t a good use of your time, anyway. I know you don’t know a lot yet about this kind of business—”
“The internship was a good use of my time because it was something I cared about,” I said thickly. “You’re trying to tell me I have to take the family handouts like cushy jobs and expensive vacations, that I have no choice, and then you’ll tell me to be grateful for it? That’s not a gift—not something to be grateful for. That’s paying me off for my obedience. But I don’twantto be obedient, I want to be me.”
“Stella—”
“I’mnotsad I came here,” I said, and he stopped in surprise, a confused look my way. “I resent that I was forced into it, but in the end I’m not sad I came here. I’ve gotten closer with Ryan. And I’ve made some really…reallygood friends here. I’ve had a really good time. But only with the parts where I’ve been able to break away and do my own thing. I don’t want moneyand vacations and gifts, Dad. I want to be my own person. And to have you see that.”
He pursed his lips, the muscles tight on his neck, and after a long silence, he said, “I don’t care what you think of me, but I hate to see you ignore everything your mother’s done for you.”
I closed my eyes, drinking my coffee slowly. “If you’re not going to see eye to eye with me, then I think we’ve said all we can. I’ve said what I need to.”
“Stella, it’s—”
“I told you what I need. In the end, you can either… engage with that, or you can not. Ifrespectis what you’re after, you have to know that’s not something you can buy with a company card.” I stepped back, drawing my posture up taller. “I’m not going to brunch. But please don’t worry about me. I’m very well taken care of here. I’ve met someone who’s made my stay here really special. It’s up to you and Mom to decide if they’re the only person who gets to see me here.”
“Your whole family is here, and you want me and your mother to be the ones to make all the effort—”
“It’sbecauseyou two are the only ones whocan,” I shot, my voice thick. “I don’t trust anybody else to actually listen. I’m not telling you all this topunishyou, Dad, I’m telling you this because I care enough to try making things better between us.That’swhy.” I stepped back, turning away, my chest achingly tight, and I walked back towards the stairs, heart pounding as I did. “I’ll see you later. Tomorrow, maybe. I don’t know. Whenever we’re going totryand make this right.”
“Stella, wait,” he called, frustration thick in his voice, and I marched off, tears prickling at my eyes. Should have been déjà vu after the last conversation with my dad, but this felt different, like—like last time I’d been storming out in frustration, anger. And like this time, I was just so tired—tired of caring, of puttingmy heart out there only for everybody else to take turns stepping on it.
Except for Allison. Allison and the others…
I pulled up my phone as I walked down the stairs, a prickle of relieving warmth in my chest. Brooklyn had sent a message with an address.
I hoped she was right that I could just show up. I needed a hug from Allison specifically right now.
Chapter 21
Allison
When someone knocked at my front door, I kind of assumed it was Brooklyn. I was the type who couldn’t ever finish a container of food, always likeoh, I don’t want to take the last one,so I had a pantry full of containers with one use left in them, so Brooklyn had made a habit of popping over to my place if she needed a bit of something for a recipe, knowing she’d be freeing me from the debate of emptying a container anyway, so it didn’t even prompt a reaction. I just dropped the pencil into the easel tray and turned back to the door, and I didn’t even get changed out of my ugly-ass splattered and dirty painter’s clothes before I opened the door, my snarky commentary dying in my throat at the sight.
“Did your girlfriend throw you out, or—” I started, stopping when I came face-to-face with Stella Valerie Bell in a beautiful white sundress, long hair sweeping around her back in the salty ocean breeze, and I think I actually had a heart attack. And a stroke. At the same time. Spontaneous human combustion was also on the table. She gave me a sad smile.
“Nah, just my family. I was actually hoping the cute girl I was flirting with would take me in when they did.”
Oh, shit. She’d had a bad interaction with her family. She also talked about me asthe cute girl she was flirting within the context of when I accidentally asked her about a girlfriend, and I now had to somehow ignore that. “What happened?” I said, opening the door wider for her. “Are you okay?”
She took a long, shaky breath, and she nodded. “I could just use a hug, is all,” she said, her voice thin, and I stopped to pat myself down.
“I hadn’t started using paints yet, so we’re all good. These are all dry paint stains.”
“I’d hug you anyway.”
“That dress is so pretty, I’d never forgive myself for ruining it—” I checked my hands. No paint stains. We were good. I stepped over the threshold, and I pulled her into a hug, wrapping her up in my arms and pressing her against me, and she murmured something, resting her face against my shoulder, squeezing me tight. I felt a little dizzy, like I wasn’t sure how to think straight when Stella was this close, holding me, when she’d come to me after things had gone badly, when…
“You smell like paint,” she murmured.
“Oh, yeah. That’s, uh, that’d be the paint. Sorry, I’d have gotten changed if I knew you were—”
“No, no,” she laughed, not letting go. “It’s nice. It reminds me of being a kid playing in art class… it feels safe.”
Oh, god, I was holding Stella. After we’d, uh… I mean, after everything that happened. This wasn’t like that, though. I’d turned her down and made things awkward, and she was just here because she needed a safe place. A place with someone who would be normal with her. Tall order. “Do you want to come in?” I said softly. “I could make you some coffee?”
