Page 94 of The Other Side of Paradise
I didn’t know what compelled me to say, “Yeah, I mean, I can see why. It sounds like it wasn’t enjoyable for her when you were in touch.”
He pushed out an exasperated sigh, sitting forward. “I’ve been doing what I can for the family.”
“No, you’ve been yelling at Stella. She wants to tell you how she feels. I mean… I know it sucks, but you have to take a second to listen instead of trying to counter with how you feel.”
“It’s not about how Ifeel,” he said, his voice going a tick too loud. I cringed a little, but I held my ground. I mean… it was for Stella, after all. “It’s about what’s the decent thing to do.”
“I get that… but it’s about what you feel is the decent thing to do. And she’s doing what she feels is the decent thing to do. She’s standing up for Ryan. And for herself. She’s… you know, telling you what you need to know to make that connection with her… you know, work.”
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And in your mind, I should just nod along with whatever she says.”
“No. I mean, not necessarily. It’s fair to also express what you need. But… you have to take turns, right? Listen to her and try to give her what she needs, and then once that’s settled, you can do the same the other way around. Otherwise you’re just yelling at each other and not getting anywhere.” I paused. “Stella’s… I mean, Stella’s a reasonable woman. She just wants everybody to lay out what they’re actually thinking. For everyone to meet on some common ground. I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”
He stared at me for a minute before he put his hands on his knees, pushed up to his feet, and stood at the railing. His shoulders sloped down, his frame suddenly looking half the size, as he stared out over the botanical gardens below, and finally, he said, in a thick, hoarse voice, “I said some things I shouldn’t have said.”
My chest tightened. Anxiously, I stood up, walking over to join him, questioning every step, if I was doing the right thing. “I think we all have,” I said. “And I’ve… not said some things that I should have. The thing that matters is what you do after, right? I mean… Brooklyn’s always told me it’s not about what happens, it’s about what you do with what happens.”
He hung his head, and he gave me a strange little smile out of the corner of his eye. “You’re a pretty good kid.”
“I’m not a kid.”
“How old are you?”
“I’m… I’m turning twenty next month.” If you referenced your age by talking about how soon your next birthday was, you were young. He chuckled.
“I am thirty years older than you.” He looked back to the gardens. “But you’ve got a better head on your shoulders than I do. Maybe it’s that I’ve been stuck in all this…” He gestured to the air, like he was talking about the island, but I don’t think it was the island. “For most of those past thirty years. You get stuck in a given thought pattern.”
“Yeah… I get that.”
“Been in a lot of cycles for thirty years?”
“Oh, tons.”
He turned to lean back against the railing, studying me. “Brooklyn,” he said. “The bartender, right? Is that the woman Ryan is seeing?”
“Oh, um, she, uh, I don’t… I don’t know…” I scratched my head, looking away.
“You’re not very good at lying.”
“I just have an itchy scalp.”
He didn’t say anything. I sipped the coffee. It wasn’t poisoned.
“Yeah, that’s her,” I mumbled.
“What’s she like?”
“She’s a really good person. Just don’t tell her I said that.” I laughed awkwardly, leaning against the railing and drinking the coffee slowly. “Most of us are working here because, you know, we’re figuring things out, we’re making it work here while we try to get to something better, but Brooklyn could be anywhere, doing anything. She’s clever, dedicated, talented. She’s here because she loves the place. She’s very… authentic. Very real. But always fair. My parents weren’t… there for me, and she’skind of been like a supportive family for me in ways I didn’t get to have.”
He sighed. “And Stella’s been spending her time with you and the two of them.”
“Yeah. You know, we’ve been hanging out on beaches, getting food, painting—I’m in art school, and she’s a really good artist too. So we’ve genuinely just all been having a really good time, the four of us. I mean, Ryan and Brooklyn are, well—they say it’s casual. They’re trying to make it casual. I don’t think they’re doing the best job, though.”
“Hm.” He didn’t say anything else, just a long breath, eyes out on the horizon.
“But they’ve been happy. Everybody. Me too. She, uh… Stella, I mean, that is. She’s really one of the best people I’ve ever known…” I looked down. “She’s so intensely creative, passionate, and never afraid to say what’s on her mind. But it’s never in a way that’s hurtful, just… she really just genuinelycaresabout people and it rolls off of her in a way that can never be faked. She’s really… really amazing.”
He nodded, slowly, looking back out to the horizon.
