Page 69 of Head First
We break apart and I nod the affirmative to Pippa, my eyes still a little teary.
‘I knew you could do it!’ she cries, triumphant.
I grab onto the railing to steady myself. I didn’t realise how much tension and fear I was holding onto until it was gone. I feel free.
‘I can’t wait to tell my sister.’ I take a deep breath of the ocean air.
‘She’ll be excited for you?’ Hugh asks.
‘You have no idea.’
The boat ride back to Cairns takes upwards of three hours. I am blissed out, lying on the platform. Pippa sways in the hammock above me, chatting excitedly about the waterfall tour. I have yet to invite Hugh because I haven’t had the talk with him. After finding the wrasse, my impersonation felt even more explicit. I also wanted to give him space to come to terms with whatever this means for his paper and his promotion. If he’s disappointed or upset with me because of what I found, he hasn’t let it show.
I watch Miguel dismantle the oxygen tanks for the last time, cracking up with Vanessa as he does it. His brown hair gleams in the sun and his smile is bigger than ever, like he’s excited to be done with the trip too. If Hugh hadn’t been on this trip, there’s no denying that Miguel could have been fun.
Andrew is pacing the deck and talking animatedly to Derek about how excited he is to be on dry land. Every now and then I crack my eyes open and gaze at Hugh, who is lounging on the platform within reach of my fingertips. His eyes are closed, and his mouth is slightly open, his full bottom lip sticking out. I watch the rise and fall of his strong, tanned chest. I resist the urge to touch him, although with finding the butterfly wrasse off my plate, it’s all I can think about.
Will I have to be honest with him tonight? Or should I let us just enjoy our last night together . . .
Pippa catches me staring at Hugh and snickers loud enough to disturb him. He mumbles something incoherent, raising his eyebrows at her. I glare at Pippa. She laughs and flips over in the hammock.
‘We’re nearing the harbour,’ Aaron announces, prompting everyone to congregate, once again, in the captain’s room. Hugh wakes up and trudges inside, following Pippa and me. One by one, we filter in and out of the downstairs cabins, repacking our stuff and preparing our exit.
Finally, we see Cairns.
I take a deep breath when the first building comes into view.
Being closer to land means being that much closer to cell service . . . and to finding out how Millie’s surgery went. Natalie already has her cell phone out. She’s waving it in the air, trying to get signal. Derek is fretting over his camera. Things feel like they are returning to normal, like the closer we get to land, the more I will feel like this never happened. Hugh and I sit together in our normal seats by Aaron’s chair.
‘This is weird,’ Hugh says.
‘Like the closer we get to land the more this feels like a fever dream?’ I reply.
‘Exactly.’
A shiver runs up my spine at how in sync we are after just five days. I slightly move my thigh so that our legs are touching. Hugh glances at me out of the corner of my eye, and I pretend not to notice. I drink in his stature and his smell – sunscreen and woodsy with a hint of fresh grass and male cologne.
Hugh places a hand on my thigh. ‘Now that you’re done focusing on finding that fish. And now that I’m feeling better,’ he mumbles throatily, never taking his eyes off the horizon.
‘I’m listening,’ I whisper coyly.
Just then, Aaron abruptly cuts the motor, startling Hugh’s hand off my knee. We’ve entered a no-wake zone. Andrew and Pippa turn their phones on, and they start to vibrate with what I’m sure is a deluge of calls and texts they missed while we were on the water.
‘You gonna check on your sister?’ Hugh asks, gesturing at the phone that still sits on airplane mode in my lap.
‘I’m nervous.’
Hugh reaches over, swipes down on my phone screen, and toggles the button to turn off airplane mode. ‘Better do it sooner than later.’
‘Thank you,’ I say. I mean it. I know he’s right, and I didn’t have the strength to do it myself. My hands are shaking.
My phone starts to vibrate, first slowly, every twenty seconds or so, and then furiously, like it could explode. My breathing shallows.
I watch as texts pour in from my mom, coming in random order.
She’s in surgery.
We’re waiting.
