Page 31 of Head First
‘Woah. Too early in the morning for big American words.’
‘OK,’ I reply, ‘I’ll dumb it down for you. What gives that you suddenly want us to be friends?’
‘Last night. When you jumped in the water to get that cup, I saw how much you cared. And for the record, that’s what made me change my mind about our attitudes. I’m not proud to admit it but I didn’t think you were as committed as me to the cause.’ Hugh says the last bit slowly, choosing his words carefully.
‘Of course, I’m committed.’ I turn around to face him. ‘Why would I be out here if I wasn’t? We don’t all have the luck to be born on the same continent as the thing we want to study, you know. Just because I can’t be out here all the time doesn’t make me “less committed”. You can’t use your geographical privilege to say you’re better than me.’
Hugh hesitates, scratching the stubble on his chin. ‘Fair point,’ he admits. ‘I didn’t think about it that way. Anyways, it’s cool to see someone care as much as me.’
‘Hmm,’ I grunt, but I’m softening, and he can tell.
‘I’m not saying I’ll stop making fun of you.’
‘I suppose that’s all right with me.’ I sink back into the hammock. The light is still soft over the ocean. The sun will be blazing in a couple of hours. I let a big sigh escape from my lips.
‘So, do you want to talk about it?’ Hugh asks. I can hear him settling against the platform next to me.
I open my mouth to answer that I don’t. I know that I should keep what I’m going through private. I know that even though Hugh says he wants to be friends, he still doesn’t think the wrasse is alive. I know that I should be surrounding myself with people that will help me, that believe in me.
But I also do want to talk about it. I desperately want someone else to know why I’m so worried. I want to share my burden with company so that I don’t feel so alone in this great big ocean. And if that person is Hugh, on a sailboat, with a Great Barrier Reef sunrise in the background, then so be it.
‘It’s my sister Mi—’ I stop myself just in time. ‘My sister,’ I say quickly. ‘She got some weird news a couple of weeks ago, that she has a gene that predisposes her to breast cancer, and she got a double mastectomy this morning. I knew it would be hard not knowing how her surgery has gone, but I didn’t realise it would be this hard.’
‘Woah. I—I’m really sorry to hear that.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Was this what you were talking about the day you got that not-bad-not-good news?’
I look up from the frayed hem I’m tugging on the sweatshirt sleeve. Hugh and I have been so hostile since we met in person that sometimes I forget we actually know a good bit about each other. His message that day making fun of Americans was the only thing that brought a smile to my face.
‘Yeah,’ I admit. ‘Well remembered.’ I feel like I should say something else, but I have nothing to add. I’m worried if I share too many details, I’ll slip up worse than before and say Millie’s full name.
‘I’ll be right back.’ I turn my head in time to see Hugh push himself up and head towards the cabins. I watch as he disappears out of my sight.Have I been completely naive?Why did I think Hugh could handle my problems? Why would he care about my sister? He doesn’t even know me.So much for being friends.
Grumpily, I get out of the hammock and sit on the platform, crossing my arms over my chest. I don’t feel like swaying in the breeze anymore.
I stare at the water, hoping for a turtle or a pod of dolphins to appear so that later I can make Hugh feel bad for leaving me after I opened up to him, but no matter how hard I stare at the ocean, nothing appears.
‘Millie?’ I hear Hugh call softly.
‘What?’ I growl. I purposely keep my face angled away from where his voice is coming from.
‘A little help?’
I turn to find him balancing two very full cups of steaming liquid, one tea and one coffee. The liquid is dangerously close to sloshing all over the sides, but miraculously, despite the rocking of the boat, Hugh has kept it under control.
‘When I get bad news my mom brings me tea, but I know you like coffee so . . .’
I can’t be mad at someone who brought me coffee, so I smile and gratefully accept the cup from his outstretched hand. The steam curls up towards the sky and is instantly borne away on the breeze. ‘Thank you,’ I say, scooting over to make room for him.
‘I’m sorry about your sister. If you want to talk about it, I’m here. And, for the record, I’m also sorry about what I said to Vanessa. I didn’t know she was going to get mad at you. You’re already Miguel’s favourite anyways.’
‘Oh, come on.’ I raise a single eyebrow at him. ‘He’s like that with everybody.’ I pick at a loose thread on my sweatshirt. ‘And you certainly didn’t seem sorry yesterday,’ I mumble.
‘I know—’ he throws the hand not holding his tea up in defence ‘—I know I didn’t seem that sorry. I genuinely didn’t know she would actually threaten to shorten your dives. It clearly wasn’t our fault the groups got separated. If I’m honest, I think Miguel and Vanessa screwed that up.’
‘You think?’ I gaze down at the steaming coffee and gently blow on it. ‘I felt like it was my fault.’
