Page 52 of Head First
‘He’s ridiculous,’ she says, turning to me. ‘You don’t think Hugh will care?’
‘It’s not my problem if he does.’
‘All right then. Who’s gonna tell him?’
‘I will,’ I say defiantly.
She nods in Hugh’s direction. He’s broken off from Natalie and is standing alone, facing the ocean.
‘I was going to tell him later,’ I say, feeling a pit of dread form in my stomach. I hate confrontation, even when I think the other person deserves a talking-to.
‘Later is now, babes,’ Pippa says.
I roll my eyes, but I know she’s right. I make my way over to Hugh.
‘Morning,’ he says softly.
‘Hi.’
‘I’m sorry about last night, I didn’t think—’
‘It’s fine,’ I interject, cutting him off. ‘I knew you didn’t want me to find the wrasse. I don’t know why I was so surprised to hear you had a promotion riding on it. I just came over to tell you I’m gonna be Pippa’s buddy this morning.’
Hugh’s jaw goes slack. His eyes shift to a greyish blue. ‘You are?’ he asks.
My heart beats faster and my chest starts to ache. ‘Yes,’ I reply, forcing myself to keep my resolve. ‘I think it would be best to be with someone who’s not opposed to me achieving my goals.’
Hugh opens and closes his mouth. Finally, he says, ‘If that’s what you think is best . . .’
‘I do.’
‘OK.’
‘OK.’ I walk away.Take that, Hugh Harris, I think. I try to set my shoulders defiantly, but part of me feels like I just made a mistake.
We were a well-oiled machine yesterday, but swapping partners has taken a toll on our rhythm. I’m usually seated between Hugh and Andrew, and this time I have to get up and switch with Andrew, which proves harder than I expected because I’m already strapped into my air tank, which is extremely heavy. Miguel barely catches me in time when I lose my balance, and I fall into his chest.
‘Oof,’ he grunts, as he regains his footing and helps lower me down to the bench. Since I’ve been Hugh’s partner, I haven’t seen much of Miguel, but he’s all smiles this morning, excited for the warmer water.
After my slip he’s attentive to me and Pippa, chatting with us about our trip so far, wondering what we’re most excited to tell our families. Pippa’s enthusiastic and charming, as usual, but I’m having trouble focusing. I’m ready to be in the water, where it’s quiet.
When Miguel gets up, Pippa does a cursory buddy check and is nowhere near as thorough as Hugh. I glance down the bench towards him, wondering if he’s missing me too, but he’s deep in conversation with Andrew. I perform a quick buddy check on Pippa and we both jump into the water. I’m starting to feel less clumsy as I enter. I make a mental note to ask Miguel to teach me the head-first entrance next time we dive. I feel calmer as soon as we’re bobbing on the surface. Derek is bringing along his camera but I hardly care, I’m just anxious to go.
We’re back to descending on mooring lines, hand over hand, slowly making our way to the bottom of the ocean. The water shimmers in the morning light. I relish the familiar woosh in my ears. I’m stuck behind Hugh, who is stuck behind Andrew and moving excruciatingly slowly, and my hand keeps bumping into his. He looks at me and for a moment I think I can see hurt on his face through his mask.You should be sad, I think. I hope Hugh regrets keeping me in the dark about his paper. Our bodies shift as a swell of a wave passes over us. I turn away from Hugh. As much as I want him to be sad, I don’t want to have to witness it.
We cover more ground than we ever have this morning. It’s calming, the constant swimming, and Derek is better about taking pictures as we move, which allows us to keep our pace up. I keep track of Pippa, who seems to have completely forgotten she’s also supposed to keep track of me. She’s a quick swimmer and stays right on Vanessa’s heels. I have no time to turn around and check and see how Andrew and Hugh are faring. I figure it’s better for me not to pay Hugh too much attention.
There are more currents eddying in the water today. I drift through a warm patch only to be hit by a blast of cool water. With the currents come more schools of fish — we swim through a shoal of damselfish, hundreds of silver scales, their bodies about the size of my hands, each one marked with a telltale gold circle on its tail. The fish are unbothered by us and flit so close to our faces and bodies that I could reach out and touch them if I wanted.
We scuba through two large stretches of reef and turn around, ready to make our way back. Just like Millie’s notes said they would be, these reefs are shallower, closer to the surface. They sparkle in the sunlight and teem with life. Even the fish seem extra glittery here, the sun glinting off their scales as they dance around rocks.
Vanessa slows on our return trip, seemingly happy with the pace we’ve set so far, and our group breaks up a little to explore the hidden crevices around the reef. Pippa and I notice a large colony of pink and red starfish, all studded with white spots and spines. We watch them unstick and stick their arms and legs up for a while before turning to look for something new.
I find a cluster of staghorn coral and hover over it. Pippa is entranced by an anemone that is home to two clownfish right next to me, so luckily, she stays by my side as I take pictures of the coral beneath my flippers. I see hundreds of little fish darting around the coral, but none look like the butterfly wrasse. They look like a rainbow of zigzags, black, yellow, blue and orange. When Pippa starts to swim away, towards where Vanessa is tapping her carabiner on her air tank (a signal for all of us to pay attention), I give up and follow her.
Vanessa has spotted a sea turtle, and it’s swimming in the direction of the boat, so our group starts to follow a respectful distance behind it. It flaps its flippers leisurely, sometimes surfacing up into the waves and diving back down. It doesn’t seem bothered by our presence at all. It’s fascinating to watch it swim against the deep, infinitely blue backdrop of the ocean. Derek’s camera never leaves his face. I bet he’s taken a hundred pictures. Eventually, the turtle veers off to the right. Vanessa continues to lead us straight ahead until we pass the second reef and arrive back at the mooring line. Hugh is behind me for the ascent this time, and I watch as he helps Andrew figure out how to ascend without popping up too fast.
When we break through to the surface, Hugh’s mouth is in a thin line. He usually looks so happy after dives that I feel my heart tug in my chest. My first thought is that I hope Andrew wasn’t too exhausting of a buddy – watching him struggle with his buoyancy is one thing, being a partner in his troubles is another. My second thought is that I shouldn’t care. Thinking about Hugh no longer needs to be on my priority list.
