Page 88 of Apple of My Eye
Eloise
Things I Like About San Francisco
–Fresh croissants at the corner bakery
–Hiking the headlands
–Bagel shops (they’re everywhere!)
–Beating Linden at gin rummy
–Espresso martinis
–When the morning fog breaks
I never believed in Mercury being in retrograde until today, which has been the weirdest day of my entire life.
Linden: Hey, do you want to come visit? And no, Mercury isn’t in retrograde or whatever you call it. I was thinking of you the other day. Thought maybe you could use a change of scenery.
I assume Mom texted him letting him know that I was moping around the house, at a loss as to what to do with myself now that the season had wound down and I still hadn’t heard back on my loan application or on the state of the Parkers’ place. I roll my eyes at the picture I make of her in my head, texting Linden:Please help her. Our darling son, please. We’re counting on you.
But I push out my negative thoughts. I swallow my pride and think of Lily instead. I reply that yes, I would in fact like to come visit.
Linden: Great. Let me know when you buy your flights.
Linden: And you can stay as long as you want. We have an extra bedroom.
Me: OK. Thanks for being so cool about it.
I want to type out,Thanks for being so cool about it even though I’ve held the world’s longest grudge against you moving, but I delete the second half, worried the sentiment is too heavy to be sending over text.
Linden: No need to thank me.
I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at flights before I scamper downstairs feeling marginally better now that I have a plan to do something other than work on the farm and stare at my parents during mealtimes. I even pull up a job board and scroll aimlessly through research jobs in San Francisco. Sure, there’s a world in which I start research that doesn’t have anything to do with agriculture but maybe some off-the-farm experience wouldn’t be the worst thing.
An email pops up in my inbox as I’m just about to shut my computer. My loan application. It’s approved. I stare at my computer, slack-jawed. Not that it matters much anymore—if the Parkers aren’t bankrupt, then they’re not going to sell. But it does mean that I wrote a proposal convincing enough that a bank approved me for money. I let myself bask in pride, staring happily at the email. The email means my dreams weren’t stupid. They weren’t silly. What was I thinking almost giving them up?
‘Honey?’ Mom calls, having arrived back from the grocery store.
‘In the kitchen!’ I shout gleefully, excited to share the news.
‘You’ll never believe what I just heard,’ she says, as she unloads bags from the counter. ‘Betsy and Joe refused the offer.’
‘What?’ I breathe. Hope a pounding, tangible thing in my chest.
‘Yep. Apparently Nick told them he was wrong, that they shouldn’t take it.’ She stops unpacking groceries to lean in closer to me. ‘He told them to put it on the market. Let someone else be the steward.’
‘Mom,’ I say, my voice shaky. ‘My loan just got approved. Today.’
‘Oh, Eloise,’ she says, pulling me in for a tight hug. ‘You must be so excited.’
I pull back from her embrace. ‘Aren’t you?’ I ask, even though I know the answer isn’t what I want to hear.
She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, a habit I also do when I’m nervous. ‘Well .?.?. your dad and I have been talking.’ She pauses. ‘Cal!’ she yells to the office.
Dad sticks his head out and seeing the hesitant expression on my face, he wanders into the kitchen slowly.
‘Your dad and I .?.?.’ She twists her hands. ‘Well, we’ve been talking about our future here .?.?. and .?.?.’
