Page 11 of Apple of My Eye
It seems, I think, as we clean up dishes silently and trudge to bed, that my dad would consider buying the Parkers’ too.
I spend the entire day working with Dad and we don’t address the prospect of selling or the loan. Instead, we work harder than usual, filling the silence with productivity. It’s all I can do to flop onto the couch in a sweaty heap. ‘I’m exhausted,’ I say, wiping sweat from my hairline. ‘I don’t want to move another step today. I think I have heatstroke.’
Mom walks over to the couch and lays a hand on my forehead. ‘You seem fine, sweetie. Plus, you’ll have to take a couple steps for dinner. I made your favorite.’ Dad and I returned from the fields at the same time, and he’s sitting next to me, shuffling a deck of cards. His head perks up at my mom’s words and she laughs. ‘Yes, your favorite too,’ she confesses, turning to walk into the kitchen and slide a pan of lasagna into the oven. Before she goes, she stares at me a beat too long. ‘I know there’s things we need to talk about,’ she says, ‘but let’s try to just enjoy dinner tonight.’ Momhatesconflict, and I’m exhausted, so I acquiesce, giving her a soft smile while on the inside I feel like crying.
Lily calls me just as my dad deals out a hand of gin rummy. I flash the screen at him, already knowing how he’ll respond. ‘You should get that,’ he says. ‘Tell her your mother and I said hello.’ For as long as Lily and I have been best friends, he’s thought of her as a second daughter.
‘My dad says hi!’ I say as I pick up.
‘Cal!’ I can hear Lily’s smile through the phone.
‘She says hi,’ I say to Dad as I leave the room, heading upstairs for some privacy. ‘What’re you doing?’ I ask Lily.
‘Making dinner.’
I laugh. ‘Crazy that we’re three hours apart and still doing things at the same time.’
‘Things are soearlythere,’ Lily says, like even the mere thought of a 6 p.m. dinner causes her physical pain. ‘How is it? Being back?’
‘Lily. They want to sell.’
‘The Parkers? That’s great!’
‘No. My parents.’
‘What?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Woah. Damn. I’m so sorry, Lou .?.?. what does that mean for .?.?.’
‘The loan? My future?’ My voice cracks. ‘I don’t know. I have this fall to prove to them that we should keep it, I guess.’
‘What does Linden think?’
A knot forms in my stomach at the idea of talking about it with him. I should be over it by now, the fact that my brother will never return to our small town, the fact that he was destined for bigger things—a bigger city, an illustrious career, a yearning for arts and culture that Carnation just can’t fulfill. And my parents wanted Linden to succeed so badly, to achieve his goals, to live his dream life, that it always felt like they never bothered to ask what mine was. Because there was never a discussion, I assumed the responsibility of returning home to take care of the farm and my parents. If I didn’t do it, who would? But now there might be no farm to take care of, and where does that leave me?
‘Lil, you know as well as I do that I’m not exactly in touch with Linden. And nothing is set in stone, they could still change their minds.’
‘Eloise! You said you would call him!’
‘You know better than to full-name me!’ I retort right back. Everyone I know calls me Lou. It’s been that way since I was little. ‘I saw a hot guy today.’ I change the subject before she can carry on getting angry with me. I don’t have the energy to discuss my failings as a little sister.
‘Youwhat?’ she squeals. ‘You haven’t met a hot guy inages. Here I was starting to think your loins had dried up permanently.’
My momentary wave of guilt at getting her excited about a hallucination recedes immediately. ‘Technically, Isawthe hot guy. In a hallucination. As a result of my heatstroke. And also, myloins? Are you reading your regency romance novels again?’
‘You did not get a heatstroke,’ Lily chastises me, ‘it isn’t even that hot there. Summer’s, like, basically over. You’re definitely just stressed about your parents selling the farm. And yes. Not that you care, but the viscount has finally realized he’s in love with the neighboring duchess.’
‘I swear I did. I forgot to bring JJ his afternoon apple.’
‘Hmm,’ Lily muses, ‘so what did this hallucination look like exactly?’
‘Tanned. Muscular. Amazing hair. Like movie-star hair. John Stamos hair. And—’ I drop my voice to a whisper ‘—this is the weird part, but I think he saw me too.’
‘OK, so you saw a hot guy and he saw you back and is that what’s supposed to make this absolute dreamboat a hallucination?’
‘Well, he definitely wasn’t a farmer. He was way too put together for that. And the Parkers only have daughters. So there’s no reason for someone like that to be there? Plus, like I said before,I was really hot. Also, he is like the carbon copy of the protagonist in the latest rom-com I’m reading. So, it’s not a big leap that my mind would have made him up. In the heatstroke I was clearly having.’
