Page 102 of A Colourful Country Escape
‘It’s just stuff, Lexie. Material possessions. It doesn’t compare. And sometimes we have to let go of the past for the future we want.’
Lexie thought of the bits of her own past she didn’t love, and of Mrs Moon needing to let go of Mr Moon even though she had loved him with every inch of her. She nodded, even if it didn’t quite seem real. Would Ben really do that for her? Could she let him?
He lifted a finger and evened out a crease on her brow. ‘There’s no question; the way I feel about you is worth more than all of it. A million times over. And it’s time you started believing it. Every single day.’
It sounded huge, but her racing heart was desperate to agree.
‘You can open a fortune cookie now.’
Lexie gave a small smile. It was just some silly bit of advice from a factory in a far-off land. What was the worst it could say? She opened it and then looked at him, her mouth wide.
‘How did you do that? How did you know what it would say?’
‘Because they all say the same. It’s the one message that’s kept playing in my head, through all of this. My one constant thing. Lexie, I love you.’
His last sentence matched the words on the scrap of paper in Lexie’s damp palm. The piece of paper she felt she would cling to for ever. There were so many questions still to ask, but …
Ben stood up, pulling Lexie gently to her feet in front of him, their fingers intertwined. She looked up at him, feeling almost trancelike. He loved her. He actually loved her, and she loved him too. Joy almost bursting through her ribcage she reached up and threw her arms around his neck, digging her hands into his hair and pulling his face down to hers. Their lips met in a kiss edged with smiles, and she repeated his words back to him, each one playing between their mouths like a melody.
‘I love you … I love you … ’ She felt his lips twitch even more as she said it and she let his delight fill her up, the instrumental jazz music still dancing in her ears.
When they finally pulled away from each other, they had tears in their eyes. Lexie hoped at least some of them were happy ones.
As they bent down to collect the rest of the fortune cookies, laughing that he might have been busy unpacking and repacking them every week if Lexie hadn’t seen his blog post, Lexie heard a rustling in the shrubbery from the direction she’d arrived in. Was somebody there? And how long had they been listening?
Chapter 53
Ben and Lexie looked towards the bushes, where the noise had come from. Though Lexie shouldn’t have been surprised. She’d known Mrs Carrington-Noble was on the prowl at Nutgrass Hall, and she wouldn’t have missed the peacock alarm.
‘Mother.’ Ben spoke the word through a firm jaw and Lexie felt a pang of guilt. She didn’t want her and Ben coming together to divide him from his ailing mum, his home, his job …
‘We need to sort this out,’ Lexie said to him in hushed tones. ‘You can’t just ignore your mum’s last wishes. It doesn’t seem right.’
Mrs Carrington-Noble had moved into their space, the three of them standing in an awkward circle. Lexie was taken aback at the almost translucent skin across the woman’s sharp cheekbones, and her thin shoulders that were weighed down by a heavy grey cardigan even though the day was hot. But Lexie still couldn’t read her face.
Ben blew out a long breath and seemed to pick over his words. ‘Mother, this isn’t easy. But you know my decision. I’m devastated about what you’re going through and if I could change it, I would. I’d give you every last organ and blood cell if I thought it would help you. But Mum …’ He took one of her hands. Lexie tried not to gasp at how thin her fingers were, how much her knuckles protruded. ‘Trying to control people is not fair. I know you may be facing mortality, but I can’t allow you to strangle the breath from the living. I love Lexie and I intend to be with her, if she’ll have me. I have no interest in marrying Cynthia or inheriting a penny. Please understand that.’
Mrs Carrington-Noble simply blinked and turned her head to Lexie, as though she expected her to speak. Lexie took a deep breath, still nervous around this formidable woman, even with her ghostly appearance. Perhaps more so.
‘I … ’ What was she meant to say? ‘I love Ben too, even though I didn’t mean to fall for anyone. He gave me back part of the confidence I’d lost somewhere. He gives me permission to reach for the world again.’
Mrs Carrington-Noble raised an eyebrow and Lexie could sense she hadn’t said enough. She racked her brains.
‘And, er … I guess I’m sorry I haven’t always been honest. I suppose I didn’t think the true version of me was good enough. And I’m so sad to hear about your illness. If there’s anything I can do … ’ Lexie knew she was waffling now. She could sense a growing hardness in Mrs Carrington-Noble’s stare. ‘But, OK, enough apologies. I’m not going to say sorry for who I am any more. Or for not making as much money as the Fortescues, or for growing up in a crumbling council house on Smallpenny Road. Or even for having gone travelling with a loser who could have landed me in jail. That’s just how it is. I can’t promise I’ll be the sort who joins polo clubs, or that I really understand what goes on there. And I’ll probably always be the girl with the thrift-shop jumpers. I like them.’
Lexie turned to Ben, her eyes prickling with emotion. ‘But I can promise I’ll always try my best to make Ben happy. To fill his days with laughter and sunflowers, and silly messages from fortune cookies. And to never run from my dreams under the daft belief that the best ones are reserved for other people.’
Ben lifted a hand and cupped Lexie’s cheek. Just as she felt some of her tension melting away, another hand shot out and gripped the top of her arm. She jumped and looked down at it. Mrs Carrington-Noble was still stronger than she looked.
The two women eyed each other, Lexie wondering what more she could possibly say. And then, finally, just when Lexie thought she would have to give up on her, Mrs Carrington-Noble spoke.
‘I know, Lexie. I know you’ll make him happy. You’re not one to strangle things with your selfishness.’ She cleared her throat.
Lexie’s mouth dropped open, but she didn’t quite have the words. Her instinct was to remind Mrs Carrington-Noble to call her Alexis, even though Alexis had never been her name. Did this mean Ben’s mother was calling a truce?
‘I’ve had many dull hours linked up to a drip to think about life, and I’ve concluded I don’t have the energy to fight everyone. I have a disease to conquer.’ Mrs Carrington-Noble reached into her cardigan pocket and pulled out a large set of keys. Without the weight of them anchoring it, the cardi slipped from her jutting shoulder. Ben swiftly pulled it back into place. ‘I came to give you these.’ She placed the keys into Ben’s hand and closed his fingers around them. ‘They’re yours now, and the business too. But don’t let it rule you. The money, that is. It means nothing in the end. Love makes us equal, and so does death. I see that now. Clinging on to it won’t save you. We must live from the heart. And without love, our hearts won’t be strong at all.’
‘That’s kind of you, Mother, but there’s really no need … ’
