Page 85 of A Colourful Country Escape
Lexie recounted her own terrible tale as she moved around the room throwing her belongings into bags, for the second time in forty-eight hours.
‘I knew something smoochy was going on with you two again,’ said Sky, as she did her usual kid-sister thing of pretending to be helpful but not doing much.
‘Yes, well, now it’s not.’
‘That’s a shame – I liked Ben in the end. Aren’t you going to at least speak to him?’
Lexie had liked him too; more than she dared think about. Her heart dragged like a great lead balloon. ‘I can’t face it. I just … can’t.’ She couldn’t bear thinking of the lies she’d told him nor her punishment for it. That balcony. Cynthia slipping off her floaty gown …
‘You know, there’s been something really odd going on down here,’ said Sky. Lexie was glad of the diversion. ‘Everyone’s been really hush-hushy, and quite honestly a bit miserable. Do you know what it’s about?’
Lexie shrugged. ‘I never understood half of the weird stuff that went on here. And now I never will.’ She swallowed hard, telling herself the painful lump in her throat was only because she’d miss Tom and Mrs M.
‘I’ll miss Cory,’ said Sky, as though tuning in to her sister’s thoughts. She held her hands to her heart. ‘He’s been so sweet. Anyway, where are we actually going?’
Lexie eyeballed Sky and threw her a coat. ‘Hands off the Carrington brothers. We’re tossing all this stuff into my replacement camper van and getting out of here.’ Mrs Carrington-Noble had pointedly left the keys and documents by the front door. She must have known her meddling would win out in the end. ‘Have you seen the van?’
Sky nodded. ‘It looks just as crappy as your old one. Are you sure it works?’
‘Hey, it’s vintage. I wanted it to be as much like Penny as possible, which is why it’s taken so bloody long to source it. And we’d better pray it does work, otherwise we’ve got a long push ahead of us.’ Although she was sure Mrs Carrington-Noble would have made sure it was ready to drive away. She wanted her off the estate as much as Lexie wanted to leave.
Lexie didn’t know where they were going, other than it needed to be far enough away not to be found. She would leave behind the clothes and make-up she’d borrowed from Grace and send her a message to collect them, at some point. They were designer things, symbolic of a life Lexie should never even have tried on.
Before long, the sisters were creeping up and down the winding staircase with armfuls of belongings, which they piled into the back of Penny Two, as they’d affectionately named her.
The whole thing would have been amusing under any other circumstances. The two of them trudging backwards and forwards under the disapproving eyes of theScooby-Doopaintings, with Sky dressed as a zebra and Lexie still wearing the giraffe-print jumpsuit better suited to Morocco. Lexie couldn’t help thinking they were like two lost animals pairing up to board Noah’s Ark. If only life was as black and white as the stripes on Sky’s onesie. Or maybe it was. Maybe Lexie just shouldn’t have tried to cross the boundaries, mixing everything to grey.
As Lexie stood in the doorway taking one last look while Sky waited in the van, a sudden, overwhelming sadness washed over her. She remembered standing awkwardly in this hallway with Ben on the first day of her arrival, the effeminate horsemen looking down on them. The fake ancestors she now knew weren’t even his. When she’d discovered it on that day at her parents’ house, she’d thought their relationship had had a glimmer of hope – they weren’t from such wildly different beginnings after all. But she should have listened to her gut. Lexie had never belonged here. Ben was right: she should have more faith in her instincts.
Memories of the last three months swept in, even though she begged them not to. She must cut her tenuous ties. Look upon this place and feel nothing. And yet, mixed emotions tossed inside her like rags in a tumble dryer, burbling and churning. Were tears coming too? She took a deep breath and pinched them back, the overpowering scent of funereal lilies filling her nose. It seemed like there were twice as many of them. So much for Mrs Carrington-Noble lessening her grip; her stranglehold was the tightest yet.
‘Right,’ Lexie announced to no one in particular, reminding herself of one-word Ben. ‘Urgh.’ She grabbed a tissue from her sleeve and dabbed her eyes. How stupid.
Sky appeared at her side from the doorway behind her, bringing in a cool evening chill. ‘Are we going, or are you too sad to leave?’
‘I feel fine,’ Lexie replied, squeezing the tissue in her balled fist.
‘Shock and denial.’ Sky nodded. ‘The first stages of grief. Don’t worry – pain, anger and depression will come.’
‘Great.’ Lexie remembered the twenty-four hours she’d spent sitting numbly in a Marrakech airport, wishing she could at least close her eyes and pretend nothing had ever happened. Maybe her sister was starting to talk more sense than her. ‘Hooray for the pain.’
It was already on its way.
Lexie motored along Tewkesbury High Street, trying to dodge unbidden memories. She recalled walking here with Ben on their way to lunch by the river. There was that shop with the rickety brown furniture, which she’d told Ben she could repaint and make beautiful. Did she still believe she could make change in the world, or were some things better left alone?
‘M&M?’ Sky asked, as she rooted through Lexie’s bag for snacks. It was 3 a.m. Even the takeaways would be shut.
‘No,’ Lexie heard herself bark. She was too busy looking in her rear-view mirror at the furniture shop. And the one next to it. Still empty. She shook her head. Looking backwards was a foolish thing.
‘Penny Two is not so bad,’ said Sky, through a mouthful of chocolate.
Lexie hadn’t bought the peanut ones at the airport, in a moment of pointless rebellion. She’d ignored the voice that told her she was cutting off her nose to spite her face. Or cutting off her face to spite her nose, as Sky had once put it.
‘Penny Two is fine,’ Lexie agreed. Although Penny Two was not fine. She looked the same, and drove much better, but there was no essence of Aunt Jasmine any more. No flowery smell to mask the dampness. In fact, she hadn’t even spotted much damp. But she would dwell on that tomorrow.
Right then, Lexie just had to drive. Her plan to get as far away as possible was already trying to escape her. She hadn’t slept a wink since her hotel room in Morocco, and she felt like the living dead. Her eyes, like two dry slits, were fighting to stay open. She knew they’d have to stop soon to set up camp, and to decide on a future plan. Two lost women in a van full of broken dreams. How would they ever fix them?
Chapter 43
