Page 96 of A Colourful Country Escape
‘I know they show off, with all their money and plastic boobs, but I do like that Lisa Vanderpump. She’s an entrepreneur, Lexie. Just like you!’ Mrs Moon put the urn down on the coffee table and gave a delighted clap.
Lexie blinked a few times as this strange new reality sank in.
‘In fact, I might have a business proposal of my own for you.’ Mrs Moon looked around. ‘But that’s a thought for another day.’
Lexie wouldn’t argue with that. There was a limit to how many bizarre facts she could process in one sitting.
‘Although perhaps you could help me with a more …personal matter.’ Mrs Moon lowered her voice as she said the last part. Then, looking around her, she grabbed a sequined throw and placed it over the urn. ‘And I don’t want him listening in.’
‘Right.’ Lexie nodded, wondering what on earth could be coming next.
Chapter 49
Lexie, Sky and Grace held their breath, waiting for Mrs Moon to divulge herpersonal matter.
‘Now, Lexie, I know you’re a people person. So I wondered if you’d help me with a bit ofmatchmaking,’ the housekeeper said.
‘She’d be terrible at matchmaking!’ said Sky. ‘She should have paired herself up with Ben instead of leaving him in a hotel room with Sexy-Undies Cynthia.’
Lexie shuddered.
‘Lexie would be excellent at matchmaking; she just needs to put herself before others.’ Grace rubbed Lexie’s back and passed the biscuits.
‘I did a fine job with my friends Mia and Jake,’ Lexie reminded herself, through a mouthful of crumbs.
‘Do you fancy someone, Mrs M?’ asked Sky. ‘Waaaait. Is it Tom the gardener?’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘ItisTom the gardener! I knew you always gave him the biggest slice of cake.’
The girls cooed as Mrs Moon patted down her cardigan and tried to look prim.
‘I do believe we’ve taken a liking to each other, yes. And it’s been five years since Mr Moon passed away. An old girl has got to move on some day.’
‘Five?’ said Sky. ‘That’s dedication.’
‘You’re absolutely allowed to move on,’ said Lexie, squeezing the housekeeper’s arm.
‘TheReal Housewiveswouldn’t wait five months.’ Grace nodded. ‘Allegedly.’
Mrs Moon rearranged the material over the urn and blinked a few times. ‘Don’t be disappointed with me, dear,’ she whispered. ‘It’s so lonely in that cottage without you shuffling about. And Cory and Ben don’t need me anymore. Not really. I misschats. Going for walks with someone who talks back. Even … holding hands. Being loved.’ She sniffed. ‘The animals were meant to go two by two, after all.’
‘Oh God.’ Lexie sprang to her feet, one hand pinching her tear ducts, the other roaming for a box of tissues. ‘That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. But we love you, Mrs M.’ Although she knew it wasn’t the same. And there was certainly something to be said for two by two, after Sky’s failed quartet and Lexie’s awful three-way holiday with Ben and Cynthia.
When Lexie returned to the table there were tears all round. She couldn’t imagine spending so many years with a soulmate and then losing them. But it must be better than never getting the chance to be with them at all. She sat down and dished out tissues.
‘Don’t cry, my lovelies.’ Mrs Moon snuffled. ‘There’s a time when you have to say goodbye to your past. Stop letting it hold you back and go bravely into your future. Sprinkle sad ashes into the wind and make new roots.’ She nodded her head and looked around her. ‘New adventures. Did you ever think about selling stonebaked pizza?’
Lexie gave a little snort through her tears. ‘I’m not Lisa Vanderpump of Beverly Hills,’ she said with a giggle.
‘Not yet, my love. But you will be. Even better, I’m sure.’ Mrs Moon gave her a proud smile, and she dared not argue.
‘So, what’s going down with you and the guy with the wheelbarrow?’ asked Grace. ‘He does seem cute. Very Tom Girardi.’
‘Mr Girardi was once one of the Beverly Hills husbands,’ Mrs Moon explained to the other two. ‘Although my Tom has considerably less teeth. And money.’ She chuckled behind her hand.
‘Which never matters,’ said Sky.
‘Well, quite! It’s all about whether he’s worthy of me. Whether he’s earned his place in my affections.’
‘Ooh, I like that,’ said Sky. ‘Not whether you’re worthy of him or anything dumb.’ She widened her eyes at Lexie, who poked her tongue out.
