Page 52 of The Summer I First Saw You
He’s full of shit, too. If he was actually scared about it getting out, he wouldn’t have let me stay here in the first place. No one is ever going to believe wedidn’tsleep together if they hear about this summer.
“Don’t blame it on Liam.” I swallow down a horrifyingdesire to cry. “You just aren’t interested. That’s all you needed to say.”
I walk out the door and close it behind me. He doesn’t try to stop me, though I guess a part of me was hoping he would. I get back to my room, sink onto the edge of the bed, and press my face to my hands.
It was so fucking stupid to think that I could just waltz in there, ask him what I did, and have it miraculouslynotbe awkward tomorrow. What did I think was going to happen? It’s almost too dumb to admit it to myself:
I didn’t want him to sleep with me once. I was hoping he’d sleep with me, and it would be so magical and life-altering that the age difference and his friendships would no longer matter. It was absolutely crazy. If I had an ounce of sanity left, I’d start packing my shit right now.
Footsteps creak in the hallway, interrupting my train of thought. Is heleaving?He has work tomorrow, and now I’ve—
There’s a knock on my door.
“Daisy? Can I come in?”
“Please go away,” I beg, but my voice cracks. It’s bad enough that he’s rejected me. I won’t survive pity from him afterward.
“Daisy,” he croons from the other side of the door. “Shit. I’m coming in.” He steps inside and his face falls. “Honey, why are you crying?”
I brush at the tears on my face. “I just made a fool of myself in front of you and got shot down in the worst way. Why the hell do you think I’m crying?”
He sits beside me on the bed. “It’s not like I didn’twantto say yes, Daisy. But your mom and Liam would never,everforgive me.”
“Please just stop.” My voice is a bare rasp. “If you wanted to, you would have. Liam and my mom wouldn’t find out, so you’re just making excuses.”
He sighs. “Daisy, I assure you—I want to. If you had anyidea how many times I’ve jerked off thinking about you bent over doing your stretches you’d feel a lot less rejected. But it would be wrong. It’s one thing to let you stay here, but—”
“You jerked off thinking about me?” My tears are forgotten.
He laughs. “I think you focused on the wrong part of what I said. But, yes, I have. I’m probably going to jerk off later just to the thought of you asking me about jerking off.”
I glance at his crotch, and he elbows me. “Eyes up, Daisy. But for the record, hearing you say anything vaguely dirty makes me hard, and this conversation is no exception.”
“How hard?” I ask, my voice laughably breathless and eager. My gaze drifts to that bulge in his boxers again.
“Please do not ask methatquestion inthatvoice when I’m trying to do the right thing,” he says between his teeth. “You have the voice of a webcam girl even when you’re not trying.”
Harrison fucking Reid has jerked off thinking about me.I’ll never recover from the shock of it. “I’m a little less familiar than you are with webcam girls apparently.”
His laughter sounds slightly pained. “I’ve never paid one. But if I had, I imagine she’d sound just like you.”
“If you were going to pay one, what would you have her say to you?”
He groans. “I’d probably just ask her to repeat this conversation verbatim.” His thighs tense as if he’s about to stand. “Well, I should—”
“So when you think about me bent over stretching,” I say, cutting him off as I scoot backward, leaning against my pillows at the head of the bed, “what is it you picture?”
His gaze flickers to me, his eyes narrow. “That hardly seems like the kind of thing we should be discussing when you’re in that tank and I’m in nothing but boxers. I’ve admitted enough for one night.”
He braces to rise again but I slide my foot out to nudge his hip.
“I put myself out there, and you rejected me. The least you could do is put yourself out there a little too. So, tell me what you picture.”
He releases a heavy sigh, his hand fisting his hair. “I have several different fantasies about you. Some involve walking up behind you when you’re in that one pose…” he trails off with a strangled noise. “The one where you’re down on the ground with your ass in the air. I assume you can figure out the rest. And that night you mentioned how easily you can find your own clit has occupied many of my thoughts in the shower as well.”
I bite down on a smile. “So you like the thought of me getting myself off?”
He laughs, more to himself than me. “I’m a guy. Of course I like that thought.”
