Page 90 of The Summer I First Saw You
And then…Daisy, standing at the edge of the lawn in a strapless, pale yellow dress, so lovely she takes my breath away.
Her gaze, when it locks with mine, is a punch to the gut. I hate the despair in her eyes.Idid that to her. I’d give up everything I have to explain it, except I’d just end up telling her things I can’t say—that I am so in love with her that I’m sick with it. And that I’ll be waiting. I’ll wait for the rest of my fucking life if necessary.
I walk to the bar for a drink, trying to get a hold of myself. Fuck. If it was anyone else’s wedding, I’d feign an emergency and walk out. Instead, I’ll get through the ceremony and leave the reception as soon as possible. It’s the only way I’m going to survive these hours watching Daisy, looking as destroyed as I feel.
I turn from the bar with a scotch in hand and seek her out again, though I just swore to myself I wouldn’t.
Look at me, Daisy. Look at me and be okay this time. Smile and let me know you’re not quite as broken as I am.
As if she’s heard me, her head rises…just as a hand wraps around my arm. I turn to find Audrey beside me, looking just as she always did—not a hair out of place, wearing diamonds in her ears that could probably pay Daisy’s tuition.
She couldn’t possibly realize how bad her timing is, but there’s a satisfied gleam in her eyes as if she does. “Hi. I was hoping I’d see you before the ceremony. Can we talk?”
My gaze jerks back to Daisy, who is staring at us in horror, the color draining from her face. I know exactly what she’s thinking. Christian ended things with her, and she saw him with his fiancée weeks later. I ended things with her and here I am with my ex-wife, who has her hand on my arm as if I belong to her.
“Talk?” I ask. “I don’t see that we have anything left to discuss. I don’t even know why you’re here.”
“Lucie and I are friends, obviously,” Audrey says. “Look, you’re mad, and you have every right to be. I’d be furious in your position. But we were together a long time, and I think we should consider—”
I can’t hear a word she’s saying, because Daisy is walking off…and there were tears in her eyes before she turned away. I set my drink on a table. “You and I are done. Excuse me.” I don’t even glance Audrey’s way as I break into a jog to catch Daisy, passing Liam and Bridget and knowing I’m grabbing everyone’s attention but too worried to care.
Daisy’s standing at the top of the hill, overlooking the ocean, with her arms wrapped around her.
She turns as I approach, her eyes wide and full of tears and it finally hits me in full, how badly I’ve fucked up. Even if seeing me with Audrey wasn’t my fault, everything that led to it was.
She needs to know. She needs to know how I feel. She needs to know she’s every fucking thing to me in the entire world.
This is the worst possible way to do this, but I don’t care as long as Daisy leaves here with the truth. I don’t think I could stay away for another minute anyhow. So I storm toward her and I don’t stop until she’s pressed against me, until I’m cradling her jaw in my hands, and my mouth is on hers in the same way she once showed me in a movie—with the sort of kiss that could get me brought up on assault charges, the kind that saysI want you, I want this, more than I want everything else I have, no matter the consequences.
“I love you,” I say against her mouth. “I love you so fucking much.”
She steps back, blinking away tears. “I don’t understand.”
“I was wrong last week. Or maybe I was right, but I’m too goddamn selfish to give you up. I was so stupid to let you leave like that on Friday without telling you that I adore you, and that every single thing I did was because I love you so much.”
A bit of the tension leaves her shoulders, but her eyes remain wary. “So…you’re not back together with her?”
I was trying so hard not to make her feel tied down before she left for school, but I hate that she ever could have believed I’d get back with Audrey. My hand rests on her hip. “God,of courseI’m not with her. I know you’re leaving, and I want you totake all the time you need, but if you still want this after you’ve graduated or however long it takes, I’m—”
“Shit,” she gasps, clutching my sleeve. “Harrison…”
I turn to find Liam charging up the hill, his eyes narrowed.
“What in the actual fuck was that?” he snarls, throwing his jacket in the grass. Bridget and Emerson are running up the hill behind him, both of them hampered by their dresses and heels. Emerson kicks hers off in the grass and hitches her dress when Liam starts rolling up his sleeves for a fight.
My jaw locks. He’s got a right to be angry, but I’m not going to take it back, and I’m not going to apologize. “I’m in love with her. I didn’t intend for it to—”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Liam demands. “No.No. This isn’t fucking happening. You barely know her.”
“Liam,” Daisy says, stepping alongside me, “we’ve been together all summer.”
He stares at her, his jaw open wide. “Together? You mean hanging out?”
“We were living together,” I reply. God, it sounds bad. I fucking deserve whatever is coming. Daisy tries to step in front of me, and I pull her behind my back. “She needed a place to stay, and that’s all it was at first.”
Bridget rushes to one side of Liam, tugging at his arm, and Emmy’s at the other.
“Liam, just calm down,” Emmy says. “The wedding’s about to begin.”
