Page 46 of My Favorite Bad Decision
I wasn’t asleep, Kitten.
The memory of those words alone is enough to make my stomach clench with want. I have no idea if what I remember of last night was a dream or reality. Did we actually kiss, and if we did, was it as good as I remember? Did he actually groan?
I’ll go to my grave without those answers because there’s absolutely no way to ask.
“Maren still likes you,” I blurt out.
His brow furrows, and then he releases a confused laugh. “What?”
It’s so incredibly disloyal that I’m telling him this, and she’d be horrified, but I need to know that he will never, ever allude to what happened—or nearly happened—between us last night. In fact, I need to know that he won’t go back and mentionanythingabout me—that we spoke, that we were friendly, and most of all, that we shared a tent.
“It’s just her personality. She’s a romantic, and she’s got it in her head that you’re the one who got away.” I sigh. “I know that sounds crazy, but her marriage sucks. Harvey is a dick, and I think she clings to this idea of you because she needs to feel hopeful about something.”
His eyes are wide. He sits up, running his hands through his hair. I wish he’d put on a shirt—I can see about a million rippling muscles right now. “What’s there to be hopefulabout?” he demands. “Kit, I broke up with her ten years ago and we only dated for a few months. How could she possibly think…”
I sit up, searching my side of the tent for a ponytail holder. “She thinks—well, everyone thinks—that you left because I was such a bitch to you all the time. That I drove you off somehow, because, to be honest, I’ve done it to people before.”
He climbs out of the sleeping bag…wearing only boxer briefs. For a moment, I’m remembering the press of him between my legs. Thesubstantialpress between my legs. My gaze jerks away.
“From what I’ve heard, you had every fucking reason to drive those people away,” he says tightly, sliding on his hiking pants.
I finish twisting my hair up. “Yeah, but I was a bitch to you for no reason at all, so in their eyes, it was just Kit being Kit,” I admit. “I didn’t even tell her you were on this trip because I was worried it would get her daydreaming about ways this could lead you guys back together.”
He stares at me, that brow still furrowed, something dark in his eyes. “Why are you telling me this?”
My cheeks heat. His gaze travels over the path of that blood rushing to my face with something that looks a lot like affection.
I glance away. “Because when we get back, it’s really important that no one hears we shared a tent. Or, you know, the thing last night.”
I wasn’t asleep, Kitten.
God. That will never stop being hot to me.
He pulls on a T-shirt at last. “I kind of figured the fact that you’ve got a boyfriend would be the bigger issue.”
It’s almost laughable, how little I care about Blake’s reaction—maybe that’s because I already know I’m ending it when I get home—but it would matter far less than Maren’s even if I weren’t.
“Maren is my best friend, and she’d do anything for me. If I’m going to slap someone in the face, it will never be her.”
His tongue darts between his lips as if he’s about to argue, and then his jaw locks. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“Thanks.”
“But that’s fucking crazy,” he adds, climbing out of the tent.
* * *
The excitement isat fever pitch over breakfast. We dine on eggs and sausages and fried bread—three foods I will never willingly eat again—and talk about our firsts again with the ravenous awe of people coming off a month-long fast.
What’s the first thing you’ll drink? Most of us want Coke. Alex wants beer.
What’s the first thing you’ll do? Everyone saysshower.
What’s the second thing you’ll do? Half of us claim we will shower a second time.
“I want a bed,” Maddie says. “And a real pillow.”
“And clothes that don’t have any silt on them,” I add, because the dust that got all over everything at Shira One never fully left.
