Page 70 of My Favorite Bad Decision
I’ve got to get home. Immediately. I’ve got to undo this and I can’t, so the next best thing is to get out before I make things worse.
His arms wrap around my waist as he steps in behind me, resting his chin atop my head.
“Don’t do this,” he says. “Don’t disappear on me.”
I turn and press my face to his chest as my hands wrap around his back.
“I can’t help it,” I whisper. “I don’t think you realize how hurt Maren would be by this.”
“You slept with someone she dated briefly ten years ago,” he says, “and I am naïvely hoping that you also mightlikethe guy she dated ten years ago. I just don’t see how this can be as big a deal as you think it is. She’s married. Her life has moved on, so why shouldn’t mine? Why shouldn’t yours?”
I glance up at him. “She and Harvey are having problems, and I think maybe somewhere in the back of her mind, she’s wondering if there is still a chance with you.”
“That can’t be true,” he says with a quiet, shocked laugh, pushing my hair back from my face. “Seriously. It can’t be. I’ve barely seen her over the past ten years, and I’ve never once given her the impression that I regret breaking up with her. To think otherwise would be…delusional.”
“Haven’t you ever idealized something or someone in the past? It happened so long ago that you can barely remember any of the details, yet you somehow convince yourself it was perfect? I think that with her marriage falling apart and feeling alone, she’s looking back at that summer and seeing it all with rose-colored glasses.”
He tips my chin up with a finger. “I am not willing to just give this up because your sister is struggling in her marriage. You shouldn’t be either. Haven’t you been through enough? Haven’t you sufficiently taken care of her and your mother, and suffered in the process? Take something for your-fucking-self.Please.”
I let my head press to his chest, hoping that it conveys everything I cannot say—that I would give up almost anything to make that possible, that I want him every bit as badly as he wants me, if not more, but that I also don’t see any way forward without hurting my sister, and that’s something I will never be able to do.
He turns off the shower and wraps me in a towel before leading me back to bed. I’m still committed to ending this but the damage is done, I guess.
Until we return, I’m going to take enough of him to make up for the past decade.
And to sustain me through the next one. Because when we leave, this is definitely over.
20
KIT
With Blake, I didn’t object to sex. I enjoyed it, mostly, but didn’t especially seek it out.
With Miller…I don’t want to do anything else. I want him to cover me, destroy me, and do it all again. I want him to tell me his filthiest fantasies so I can make each of them come true.
I wake with him curled against my back and give a small, contented sigh. The sun is out. I have no idea how late I’ve slept. I didn’t realize how many empty spaces I held until I came here with him, but they’re slowly but surely getting filled in. I’m sleeping longer, I’m eating more, and I’m laughing more.
I’m definitely getting other spaces filled more too.
“Are you finally up?” he asks. “I’ve been waiting.”
“You could have woken me,” I say, reaching backward to pull him closer.
He nuzzles my neck. “I figured you needed the rest.”
“I think I’m good,” I say, pressing backward until his erection is resting against the cleft of my ass.
His groan grazes my ear. “We really need to get going,” he says, lifting my leg and pushing inside me. “But I’m incredibly weak where you’re concerned.”
“Get going where?” I ask. Other than eating at the hotel, we’ve entirely set our own schedule thus far.
“A boat tour,” he grunts, his hand firm around my hip as he thrusts inside me. “I booked it our first day here—I was worried you might get bored.”
His hand slides over my pubic bone to find my clit. The effect is so immediate it’s as if I’ve touched a live wire.
I can’t imagine how it’s possible to be bored with him.
A little afterten we arrive at the dock near the hotel to meet the boat, which takes us to snorkel over the coral reef and then delivers us to a mangrove, where we glide in glass-bottom kayaks over tortoises and stingrays.
