Page 79 of My Favorite Lost Cause
“That’s the first thing anyone’s said to make parenting sound fun. Perhaps I’ve been too hasty in writing it off.” I push her onto her back. I want her—I always want her—but mostly I want to forget the conversation we just had. I want to forget that we’ll eventually come to an end.
She gives way, exactly as I knew she would. We could be in the middle of an argument for the ages and I’m pretty sure that if I kissed her and slid my hand between her legs, she’d be exactly like she is right now: pliant, willing, soaking through those little white cotton panties she’s got on beneath her shorts.
I climb above her and strip off the shorts. We’re on private property, sure, but we could still be seen if someone came by on a boat. I’m more than happy to risk it, and with the way she’s reaching for my zipper, I guess she is too.
“Goddammit,” I hiss. “I didn’t bring anything.”
She smiles. “There are other things we can do. Roll over.”
I could come just at the thought of the way Maren gives head—eager and hungry, getting so turned on as she does it that she’s dripping by the time I finish. But right now, I want to be inside her. “I’m dying to fuck you right now. Let’s just go back to the cottage.”
She bites her lip, flushing. “I got my test results.”
I frown. “Huh?”
“Just before we left to come down here, I got an STI screen. I sort of suspected Harvey was cheating, but I was fine.”
Oh. Fuck. What she’s saying is that she can’t get pregnant, and I can’t catch anything from her, so as long as she can’t catch anything from me…
It seems like a bad idea, but already I’m rock hard at the suggestion. I haven’t had sex without a condom in over a decade. “Yeah?” I ask, already pushing my shorts down.
I position myself between her legs. Goddamn, even this feels amazing. Even this—rubbing the tip of my cock against her wet, tight cunt—is insanely good. So fucking good I have to close my eyes and think of something else momentarily.
“Jesus, Maren,” I whisper.
Her legs spread wider. “Charlie,” she moans, that half beg of hers.
I’d like to force her to say the words. I love watching Maren blush as she begs for it, using the filthiest phrases I can convince her to say. But right now? Fuck.
I just need to.
I push inside of her with a wordless gasp and just hold. It’s so wet, so warm. Her walls cling to me, and Jesus Christ, I’m already close.
“This is going to be embarrassing, Mare. It’s too good. I just can’t…”
She smiles and pulls me down to her, wrapping her arms around me. “Then go ahead and come. And then do it again.”
I slide in, again and again, helpless to stop. I kiss her hard, channeling all the words I can’t say aloud into the motion. All too soon, heat bursts at the base of my spine and I am coming inside her, groaning her name.
She’s so perfect. So fucking perfect.
I’d give almost anything to keep her with me forever.
Just not the thing she wants.
35
MAREN
It’s been a month—a dreamy, drowsy month.
I’ve had more sex in the past thirty days than I’ve had, cumulatively, in my entire life. When I walk into Margaret’s room, I feel nothing…and I think it’s because I already feeleverything. I’m giddy. I’m euphoric. And beneath it all is some grief, but I’m trying not to notice that right now.
Whatever it is Margaret wants from me, she seems to be getting it. There’s no one but me when I look in the mirror.
I’ve nearly completed the kitchen redesign. Every time I forget that it won’t be my kitchen, I come up with an idea to make it more spectacular. Every time I remember it will be the kitchen of Charlie’s future wife, I want to shred the plans and refuse to help at all.
I’m in the middle of selecting tiles for the backsplash when my mom’s agent calls. Even the flash of his name on my phone is an unpleasant shock. I should be thrilled, since it probably means he’s got a job for me. Instead, I long to let him go to voicemail. To pretend in a month or a year, or whenever it is definitely too late, that I never got the message. But Charlieneeds to be in San Antonio in a few weeks. He’ll be gone through the fall, and it’s not like I can stay forever.
