Page 33 of Shifting Years
"Takes the edge off, you know? The loneliness." He was already looking ahead, but now he stared at something hard in the darkness. Was there something more in the rolled-up papers?
"You do anything harder?"
"Once." He mimed putting a stamp on his tongue. "Saw how I was going to die," he said with a smile.
"You believe it?"
"Not sure. If I do, I think it'll happen. If I don't, then I avoid that life. You know, like the kids going up to Canada or down to Mexico."
"So, don't believe."
"Can't. There's a beautiful girl and she's my wife. At least in the vision. If I avoid my death, I won't meet her." He took another long puff and the red tip reflected in his shiny eyes. "I dream about her, you know? A hell of a lot lately."
I made sure my voice was kind. "If you marry her and die, won't that be cruel?"
"Maybe, but I'd decide her life if I never give her a choice. Might turn out, she'd be worse without me." He smiled. "I'm not a bad guy, 'cause I gave a kid in the December cold a lift."
The conversation felt random at first, but minutes later made sense as the semi coasted to a stop. A little town lay less than a mile away. Up ahead was a forked road, with reflective yellow signs showing arrows in two directions.
He pointed. "Looks like every other sign, but I've seenthatone."
He didn't say get out, but I got the unspoken message. He handed me a few crumbled bills and enough for a dinner or two. "I'm going left. Town's to the right."
"What's left?"
"The rest of my life. I know it because it's in my bones and every second is hourglass sand slipping away." He paused. "You'll be okay?"
If what he said was true, his wife and love waited for him, but he wanted to make sure a stranger stayed safe. "Yeah, and thank you." After sliding out, I pounded the passenger door twice before the horn blared. Thousands of pounds of metal slowly rolled forward, heading toward a future he seemed to know.
The smartest thing would be to get food and shelter, even if the cold didn't really bother me. Hitchhiking with no real plan didn't find Mike, but I lived life. There was 'something' to just taking the other path. With no thought, I found myself deep in the forest, instinctively avoiding holes and tricky branches. Several minutes away from the dark highway, I discovered a circular grove.
Soon, I had a small stamp out of a sealed baggie and on my tongue.
Nothing happened for half an hour while I lay on the ground feeling like an idiot.Maybe Mike was right. Do I need music to kick it off?
Seconds or maybe minutes ticked by. For the first time in ages, I shivered, and the overhead stars glowed brighter. Sparkling trails followed my hands as I waved them in front of my face.
Cool.
Mike said this would open my mind. As I lay there, I wished I could see him again. A few blinks later, there he was, standing in the shadows. He wasn't looking at me but at someone else, with a sad smile on his face. He flickered like television static before disappearing. I rushed up and mybodywas there on the ground, but another version of me stood!
Oh, man…
My dad was a jerk, but he was right about some things. Would people find me here days later, dead from an overdose?
My chest shook as frigid, invisible 'ice' surrounded me. Up into the sky, I went, screamingthroughthe trees with black night around me. Was this reality? Further up, I rocketed like the astronauts, with nothing below except dark land and spiderweb lights from cities. And I didn't slow down.
Stop!
Suddenly, I did, seeing the vastness that was the United States, Mexico, and Canada. The howling wind swirled like a constricting snake, or maybe it didn't, because this might be my imagination. City lights twinkled, but one more than others. Near east Texas or Louisiana, one dot flared like campfires do before going out.
I've had great eyesight my entire life, but trying to see anything from hundreds of miles away was foolish. Yet, my vision sharpened. Hills in the southern nighttime rose and lowered as if breathing. No, not that. They said… no,whisperedsomething I couldn't hear.
I 'stood' in the air. Mike was right about opening my mind, but I wasn't wrong. I needed a plan.What do you do when you can't hear someone? You get closer.
Down I flew toward Louisiana or Texas as sweat I shouldn't have pooled in my hands. Wind pounded, and reality around me dimmed. Slender, shadowy shapes darted in and out of my peripheral vision, too fast to focus on.
Sleepiness came along with a primal fear I felt once before. It was from a perp in my dad's cell with black, inky eyes. He did nothing except stare back from behind cold bars, and it was enough to make me leave.
