Page 28 of Shifting Years
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Chapter Eleven
June 1969
Todd
I dropped Mike off at the town's edge, and Donna would soon follow in her own way, out of my life forever. Options raced through my mind, from subtle hints to blunt, civil ways to break it off. Nothing sounded like it would work. How could it? She wasmygirl with expectations and no reality.
My hands slid over my face.
Vietnam… that's the answer.Despite Mike's know-it-all insults, I didn't like war, but it's necessary. We'd go over there, bloody the Russkies' nose, and if I died, I wouldn't have any other problems. If I lived, I'd stay overseas.
Richie Valens' slow songDonnaplayed in my head.I wish I could forget that tune and she'd forget about me.
I drove to the brick house with two tall trees and a short shadowy figure stood a few houses away. Their hard muscles tensed from the approaching police car, thenrelaxed. I parked and hurried out, whisper-screaming, "What in the hell are you doing here, Mike?"
"I don't know man."
"That's not an answer."God, I sound like my father.
He slid his hands into his pockets and gestured to Donna's home. "I told myself I'd tell her. You have this need to protectme, and it feels like I should save you from her anger like I was needed here."
Rage should have filled me. He nearly spilled a life-changing secret. Instead, I held him close without thinking and kissed his head. Reality set in, and I stepped back, my fingers brushing over his arm. In another life, I could hold him forever.
He continued. "Then I decided I didn't know what to do." He smiled slightly. "There are no books about us… well, besides the kind policemen flush down the toilet."
He had broken-heart eyes and I'd see it twice this evening. "Go, Mike, it's over," I said gently. "Go find someone who's crazy about you. That's my wish. I hope he wants you so much he'll never let you go."
He frowned as if disagreeing. "I think I'll head south to Dallas or New York. Both are horrible summer towns, and I feel like being miserable in the heat." He turned and thoughts of us imagining a life together melted away. "For what it's worth, I'm glad I saw you one more time, even if you're an uptight square." He smiled at the last part and reached into his backpack. Soon a small white paper tab with a cartoon mouse in an airtight plastic bag rested in my hand.
"LSD," I said slowly.
"Take it one day and put on somereal musiclike The Doors, Byrds, or Beatles. None of that twangy country stuff you like." He smiled at the tab. "Don't throw it away because something tells me you'll need it. Call it ESP or a hunch. If you can't do it soon, keep it sealed and in a dark place."
He turned, hurrying to beat the sundown deadline, or so I wouldn't see his tears.
I fisted my hand around the LSD tab. In another life, we could be together. The sixties weren't kind to gay people, and I doubt the seventies will be better.Maybe the eighties.
I shuffled down the sidewalk, passing houses until I reached Donna's. Two tall trees in their yard would have held a banner for a wedding, but it'll never come. The large oak door jerked open before I could knock. Donna stood in the doorway, a headband holding her blonde hair back. The light was dim, but the narrow-eyed look wasn't something I'd ever seen before.
"Hi. Can we go somewhere? Just you and me?"
The honey-sweet voice was gone, replaced by a hoarseness as if she had been coughing. "You hardly ever ask to be alone with me! What's so special now?"
She always asked me to touch her more, and manners said I should rest my hand on her shoulder. Yet, now it seemed wrong. She got tired of waiting or knew I wasn't into the wedding. She's not mine and never was, so it was time to make it official.
"I'm signing up early. You deserve someone who won't be away." My chest tightened. I did love her so much, but not inthatway. More than a friend or sister, but short of a wife.
Donna, the girl who went along with everything, hissed, "That's not it, because I saw you… watched you withhim."
She couldn't have seen us in the forest, the alley, or the abandoned store but…
"Outside my house, right now." Her jaw trembled. "It makes sense. Everything does now, because you touch him like youdon'ttouch me." She stabbed a finger in my direction. "You didn't kiss him on the lips just now, but Iknowyou have. All you have to do is hold him and it's so obvious."
Her voice rose. "Who are you? You did everything you wouldn't do with me."
After a hard swallow, I nodded. Men had surrounded us in the bar, demanding we prove we weren't the police. Yet, we did more together alone, and I'd wear this guilt until my final days. I did all the things she listed.
