Page 44 of Creep
I quirk my brow in question, but keep my mask in place as I wait for her to answer me. I’m tired of the bullshit and she knows she better not lie to me. It’s been too fucking long since I’ve gotten to mutilate her pretty fucking skin.
“I—it’s nothing,” she stammers before pushing her chair away from the table and grabbing her plate. She walks to the sink and places her plate in the basin. She rests her hands on the edge of the counter and bows her head. I sit and watch her come undone, transfixed by her every move. Her shoulders move up and down slightly with her even breathing. The fact her chest isn’t heaving is a good sign to me. She’s a shit liar.
“What is this?” she whispers, but doesn’t move an inch. I turn my body to get out of my chair but stop.What the fuck is this?
It’s a good question. One I definitely don’t know the answer to anymore. Shit is awfully more complicated than I ever could have imagined it to be.
“I mean. We’re fucking on a daily basis. You go to work every day and I stay home. I cook, I clean, I suck your fucking cock. What the fuck is this?” She whirls around and tears are streaming from her eyes. She doesn’t bother to wipe them away. She stands tall and crosses her arms over her chest, waiting for my answer.
Her confidence, her fucking strength, is so goddamn beautiful it stuns me. I’ve always been able to appreciate a woman’s beauty—it’s hard not to—but with Essa, it’s different.
I don’t just see her physical beauty. I feel like I can see into her fucking soul—much like how I know she can see into mine. I know she can sense the monster inside of me. The monster that itches and crawls its way through my mind, begging to be released until my strength dwindles and I let him. She knows what my monster is capable of. She’s seen it firsthand. The night she saw me outside of her window covered in blood, I know she knew what I was doing, but now she’s seen it for herself.
I glance down at her legs. Her scars are healed but still pink from being so new. She has over one hundred cuts littering her body because of me. I cut her so many fucking times, my hand ached. My monster came out to fucking play and he didn’t disappoint. But they don’t seem to bother Essa like I thought they would, like Ihopedthey would. No, every time she sees them, she smiles. And that’s the creep she has living inside of her.
A creep and a monster—two sides of the very same coin.
Staring at her scars doesn’t help my already hard cock. They turn me the fuck on and I’m damn sure she knows it too. There is something about her bearing a permanent mark from me that brings out the most possessive side of me and I go mad with desire.
I stalk up to her, prowling like a predator does to its prey. She steels her spine, and narrows her eyes.. Wrapping my hand around her throat, I push my thumb into the underside of her chin and tilt it up until she can look me directly in the eyes.
“I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing, baby doll. I haven’t the slightest fucking clue. You and me? We’re two insanely fucked up individuals who have found solace in one another, as fucked up as it is. You’re one crazy fucking bitch who loves to hurt herself to feel better, to make all of the demons retreat back into the shadows. And I’m a savage bastard who craves the fucking pain I can give you.”
I watch as Essa’s eyes widen and she takes a shaky breath before glancing down at her fingers. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t supposed to work, but here we are. You need what you need the same as I and somehow, some fucking way, we found that in each other. Now, I’m not saying I love you or any dumb shit like that. I don’t even like you. But for some twisted reason, I crave you.
I crave your pain.
I crave your blood.
I crave your screams.
I crave your skin against mine.
We’re fucked up, but it’s just who we are. I don’t have an exact answer because I can’t give you one. It is what it is.”
My hand against her throat allows me to feel her pulse racing underneath her neck. A neck which would be so easy for me to snap like a fucking twig.
Her throat bobs as she plasters a fake ass smile across her face.
“Okay.”
“Okay…?” I question and drop my hold on her. It’s not exactly the response I was expecting, but she nods her head anyway. She turns away from me and walks up the stairs. And I let her.
Why do I feel like I just gave this girl a piece of me and she fucking threw it right back?
21
Essa
“The Offering”by Sleep Token blares in my ears as I try to calm my racing heart. My palms are still sweaty so I wipe them across my bedspread,again.
Fuck. Vincent spilled out so much shit down there and I completely panicked. I didn’t know what else to do so I put on my best poker face and practically ran up the fucking stairs so I could be alone. I put on my music right away to help calm down and to hopefully give me some comfort since I can’t fucking cut.
I itch at my arm where “CREEP” is still healing on my skin. The need to cut seeps into my veins like I knew it would and I dig my nails in deeper. The tiniest beads of blood pop up where my nails tore my skin. It’s nowhere near good enough, but the slight burn will have to do for now.
I close my eyes as I let the music carry me away—if only for a little while.
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